We started out partying
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Suppose he is suicidal? This has nothing to do with you. There are many other things contributing to his "suicidal thoughts" and quite frankly you are not responsible for him. I mean, the guy lives in a tent and has taken up space in your home for various reasons. You can not take the weight of his life onto your shoulders. We are only responsible for ourselves, and taking care of ourselves is of the utmost importance. Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries. There is nothing wrong with saying "I need and want to have my home back. I do not want a roommate. I need you to leave." You have the strength to make this happen. Congrats on your sober time. Keep stringing those days together.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 645
I can so relate to this thread. I have a horrible time with my family and boundaries. They all come stay at my house for a couple of weeks at a time and act completely clueless that their presence is causing me major anxiety. Anxiety is a big trigger for me so I've decided to write them all a letter explaining that I'm not running some bed and breakfast. My 87 year old dad (who should be in assisted living) just left after a two week stay and it almost caused me to relapse. My four siblings all will say "well he just loves you and likes being at your home." It pisses me off so bad because my dad has never once stayed at their houses because they are all a bunch of socially inept slobs. Don't get me wrong, I do love my siblings, but this crap is not okay. I'm the youngest of the five for goodness sake. How did I get stuck in the mother role? (our mom has been deceased since 1992 so this has been going on forever). If I don't send this letter, I feel like I will relapse.
Didn't mean to hijack this thread, but am concerned for you as it is going to be hard for you to stay sober with this freeloader causing you anxiety. You can always write him a nice letter explaining everything. That is what works best for me. I'll be praying for you.
Didn't mean to hijack this thread, but am concerned for you as it is going to be hard for you to stay sober with this freeloader causing you anxiety. You can always write him a nice letter explaining everything. That is what works best for me. I'll be praying for you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Christchurch
Posts: 451
I can really relate to this thread as well. My stepsons girlfriend used to stay the night every so often and it gradually merged into moving in full time. I found her difficult, rude, moody and a user and the toll it had on my health and sobriety was huge. Years later I realise that I am the only one responsible for that mess due to my inability to be assertive and make good strong decisions. I hope you have found a way to get that person out of your house.
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