posting this site.
 

I don't know if I should continue to post on this forum as long as I am still drinking. It seems hypocritical and disrespecting others on this forum. It' like going to an AA meeting and still be drinking. Just doesn't seem right. I want to stop, but this thing has such a stranglehold on me. Part of me just wants to give up and realize that alcohol has won this battle. It just won't give me a break. It wants what it wants. I feel like a little kid that cries until it gets a bottle to suck on. God how I hate alcohol. I know this sounds silly, but if alcohol showed up at my door, I'd kill it.

I can understand why people take their lives instead of dealing with this. I'm not there yet, but it does make sense to me.

You are at the point where this site is exaclty what you DO need. PLease stick around, You are not a hypocrite or disrespectful.This forum is for supporting people who want to stop drinking-you want to stop drinking so we can help you.

Have you read Rational Recovery/AVRT? I think you will relate to it very well,just from the way your post is written. Maybe google it and have a look at the website and then get the book. I would recommend it.

Maybe join the February class too.

Very few of us get sober as soon as we join SR. I first joined in Jan 2012 under another name-it took me nearly 12 months to get sober for the last time. Please don't give up

SR is a site for support. It's a place where we can all help each other, regardless of how many days we have. Helping others helps me too :)

If SR's not enough for you to change things around tho, please do look for other help too - AA, some other group, rehab...go to your Dr or the ER if you feel suicidal.

There is a way out - there's hundreds of people here who can prove that...and we all want to help 2much:)

D

Please stick with us 2muchpain. As long as the desire is there to stop drinking, then so are we. No-one here will judge you. Let us carry you until you can walk on your own :grouphug:

I am a very competitive person, and don't believe in giving up, but this one is the toughest battle I have ever fought. I just don't understand why I can't get an upper handle on it. I have checked out RR before. Maybe I should look it over again. THANKS

Stick around, 2much. You are valuable to this forum and we want to support you.

It was the toughest thing I had ever done, too. And, I hope you stay here and continue to post. That's why we're here - to help you get through this and reach the point where you can stop.

I just feel like a loser. To me its simple; just don't go to a liquor store. Don't get in my car and go there. How hard should that be? JUST DON'T GO. It's simple. I know I'm sounding like a non-alcoholic that doesn't have a problem with drinking, but it really is that simple. It sounds like one of those duh moments.

I am so lost, I'm crying.

Well I just relapsed after six months of sobriety - very humiliating. Went to an AA meeting this morning - taking drinks before/after because of the painful withdrawals and I'm here posting. You're not alone.

2muchpain, please don't feel hopeless. I just relapsed on Saturday and also felt like a hypocrite being here but know it is the help I need, you will NEVER come across a more caring, sincere, selfless group of people as on SR - I have found this out.

I can feel your pain in your messages, how much you don't want to drink. Post every hour if you need to, there is always someone here to listen, and though you may not believe it care how YOU are. From one person struggling with drinking to another, let's walk this journey together. Let us know how you are,

I was in that cycle not too long ago. It took some planning in advance; shop for water, Gatorade, buy or fix soup or other easy to fix/digest foods, ice cream in case you get sugar cravings, and take care of everything that needs to be done before your next day 1. Stay home. Just stay. Do not leave. That was my focus, to break the routine, get through the first few days, and avoid all triggers. I didn't answer my phone, call anyone, just R & R with SR.

Don't give up, it's not hopeless, it's just hard.

Thanks for your post. It's just that people here are working their tails off to beat this beast and get out of the hell they have been living in. For me to post saying I am still drinking just didn't seem right. It's just that the people here seem SO NICE, I didn't want to upset them.

I felt the most lost right before things got better. I think maybe that's the way it works sometime; the despair can be like a slingshot, that finally launches you forward.

That's why there is always, always hope.

I'd second the vote to check out those AVRT links in the secular section of SR. At the very least, they'll keep you busy for hours, because there's a lot to digest. And at best, you may emerge feeling empowered, like I did.

Most of all, do not give up!

2much, there are many many people here that are still drinking, some are lurking some are posting. Please continue to post, you are such a valuable member here and your input is so appreciated.
I used the RR big plan and then would follow up with AVRT daily as the cravings or thought of a drink came to mind....It certainly is worth looking at and could be a perfect fit..
also go to an occasional SMART meeting for open discussion and feedback and F2F people in the same boat....it's worth a looking into.

We are here to support you, don't give up on us or yourself. :hug:

There is nothing hypocritical about coming here and interacting while you are struggling - the whole point of it is that you are looking for possible solutions to your problem when you do have a problem. I signed up to SR a long time ago (in 2010), posted briefly several times and received great responses, just did not go any step further to start working on making changes.

You are doing much better than I did back then, because you keep posting... It'll pull together, just please don't give up; try out whatever recovery method looks interesting!

I personally would be more upset if you DIDN"T post. You are in pain and you can find so much support here. This is why this site is here.

This is a place for people who want to stop drinking. Some folks have come here in the past while still actively using, and they have posted cheerfully about the benefits of drinking. It's very rare, but it's happened. Those folks might not belong here - but from your posts, it sounds like you fit right in. The desire to quit is there, and we're here for support. I hope you find what you're looking for with SR - for what it's worth, I came here after I'd got sober in a treatment center and I was really struggling and barely hanging on. SR definitely helped keep my head above water.