The Small Fall
AlmA
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Marbella Spain
Posts: 714
The Small Fall
I had a fall back on day 23. 
I went to doctors and he gave me a box of muscle tranquillizers,
so I took 2 then another 2 then another 2, just pushing how many I could take,
so I took 10 to get high...
I went in the morning half stoned to the addictions centre and got told off for driving 35 km half gone.
I just am having a hard time keeping away from drugs and alcohol.
I am smoking 20 a day and will not calm me down, I have anxiety and I am addicted to benzo so I can have pills.
I do not control medications If I get a box I take it to get stone.
The doctor told me that:
Is not only changing the environment and I have to change inside too.
Change the way I think, cognitive re-structure, I demand too much of myself and others, etc. etc.
I am having lots of support from an friend that encourages me to keep away and through stuff down the drain... But is hard bc is all around.
But I am fighting it.
And have not had alcohol for 25 days nor pot.
Next week is my birthday...
That is going to be a challenge a sober/clean birthday
I am going to hate it...
I went to doctors and he gave me a box of muscle tranquillizers,
so I took 2 then another 2 then another 2, just pushing how many I could take,
so I took 10 to get high...
I went in the morning half stoned to the addictions centre and got told off for driving 35 km half gone.
I just am having a hard time keeping away from drugs and alcohol.
I am smoking 20 a day and will not calm me down, I have anxiety and I am addicted to benzo so I can have pills.
I do not control medications If I get a box I take it to get stone.
The doctor told me that:
Is not only changing the environment and I have to change inside too.
Change the way I think, cognitive re-structure, I demand too much of myself and others, etc. etc.
I am having lots of support from an friend that encourages me to keep away and through stuff down the drain... But is hard bc is all around.
But I am fighting it.
And have not had alcohol for 25 days nor pot.
Next week is my birthday...
That is going to be a challenge a sober/clean birthday
I am going to hate it...
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I'm sorry you're still struggling, Aiko.
I know when I quit I had to change my life because my old life was fill of drugs and drink and the the people that used them.
As painful & scary as it is to consider, maybe you need to consider making some pretty major lifestyle changes too?
D
I know when I quit I had to change my life because my old life was fill of drugs and drink and the the people that used them.
As painful & scary as it is to consider, maybe you need to consider making some pretty major lifestyle changes too?
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,055
Your doctor is really on to something. It can all come down to mindset.
If we change our mindset to be for straight living, everything else follows suit.
All the necessary steps can be taken to achieve the goal, sure, we may stumble and have the occasional slip (change can be difficult) but we get back to our mindset and our goal.
Negative friends will fall by the wayside as we no longer relate to them, thinking and accessing drink and drugs no longer absorb us...
You can do this....a sober birthday is a wonderful thing.
If we change our mindset to be for straight living, everything else follows suit.
All the necessary steps can be taken to achieve the goal, sure, we may stumble and have the occasional slip (change can be difficult) but we get back to our mindset and our goal.
Negative friends will fall by the wayside as we no longer relate to them, thinking and accessing drink and drugs no longer absorb us...
You can do this....a sober birthday is a wonderful thing.
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