gvrecovery

I'm new here, and have been fighting alcohol and drugs all my life. I stay sober for a period of time, feel like I've got it beat, then go out and drink again. I've been drunk most of the week, very sick today. I have no explanation for why I do this repeatedly. I've been through treatment more than once, and participated in AA for years. I once had just under 4 years sober. I stopped going to AA over a year ago and don't regret the decision.

I also have a chronic disease, rheumatoid arthritis, and when I flare up it feels very much like the flu, it's usually in this state that I pick up - good excuse to drink and smoke pot.

Looking forward to your feedback!

HopeSho

You're an alcoholic.

least

You've come to a very friendly and supportive site. I'm glad you joined the family.

Hevyn

Welcome to SR gvrecovery.

I felt hopeless too when I came here. Not being alone anymore helped me face reality and I found the strength to stop for good. I needed to let go of the idea that I could ever be a social drinker. It had once been fun & relaxing - but those days were never coming back. I was completely dependent on it & drinking all day - desperate to reclaim my life. I think you'll find it very helpful to be with us. You're not fighting this alone.

LonelyShadow

Sorry to hear you're feeling unwell mate. Thing is if you managed to get four years sober that's great and means that you CAN stop drinking, what you've tried so far hasn't worked permanently, but don't give up hope! I'm intrigued as to why AA didn't work for you? I've never tried it

Anna

I hope you decide to live a sober life.

Cheydinhal

When you say "then I feel I've got it beat, and I go out and drink again" - that's a problem. We will never, any of us, have it "beat." That's the point. We can't steer the ship, that's why we have to surrender to our Higher Power in order to succeed.

lisatrying

Gvrecovery try to focus on all the periods of sobriety that you do have. Beating ourselves up for slipping sometimes leads to more slipping I think.

Can you try to write down a list of ways you can try to cope when you have future flare ups of your chronic illness in the future? if that is a major trigger for you? Extra support you have bring into your life to turn to so you don't have to turn to using?

Guilt and shame leads to decreased self esteem, and decreased self esteem lead to more substance use.

huntingtontx

Welcome to SR. I am glad you are joining us. Four years is proof you have what it takes. You also state, you made the decision to drink again. Now you know it was a bad decision. Next time, I hope you choose sober. Once again, glad you joined us.

KateL

Welcome xxxxxxxxx

Dee74

Hi gv

I have chronic pain issues too - for years I used them as a good excuse to drink and smoke weed - but really there are way more effective pain relief meds and pain management strategies out there with way less side affects.

I knew that really - I'm sure you do too.

You've come to a great place for support and discussion

D

gvrecovery

Thanks everyone for your support. I'm working on getting through this awful withdrawal and the permanent sobriety.

Mags1

Hi gvrecovery, welcome to SR.

I had all the excuses in the book, we can become very inventive in our heads to excuse our drinking. A good day, a bad day, to cheer me up, when happy to celebrate, any excuse I grabbed at it to justify my drinking.

Thing is, however we feel, booze doesn't make us feel better, it is a suppressant.