started drinking again
 

I started drinking last week and can't seem to stop. It's been hard stopping before, but this one is different. I'm really scared. I'm worried that this time, I won't stop until I end up in a hospital or worse. I tried getting into a detox center in the past, but my insurance, although good and will pay for it, wasn't accepted. They are very strict on what insurances they will accept and the one's they wont. Going to an ER doesn't make sense since I am still drinking. I am looking for suggestions and a lot of support. I want so bad to stop, but end up driving to a liquor store. I don't get it. It just doesn't make sense. Why can't I just stay home and not go to a liquor store? It's just crazy.:a108:

Do you have a local friend\family member\supporter that can come help you stay away from the liquor store until you can get a little sobriety to think more rationally? That's what I leaned on last time.

Staying home, alone, is very hard in my opinion.

I'm sorry you can't find a detox that takes your insurance...I've been to quite a few detoxes, and they've all really helped me get back on track...and being in the company of other alcoholics in the same boat was a plus too.

Do you want to go to a meeting? Or have you drunk too much to drive?

I have no family or friends.

Driving would be difficult.

My insurance is good throughout the country. The only difference is how much I pay. I went to an office to get some blood work done. When I presented my insurance card, the lady said this was one of the weird cards. Nobody wants to mess with it, although it is as good as any other. All they have to do was call my insurance company. But their too lazy too do this.:dee

You break my heart my friend. I wish I had all the right words. Can you call a few more detox centers to check the insurance. Or call the insurance company and ask them. I'm praying for you. I wish I could drive over and give you big hugs. Sending my love and prayers. Pam.

I'm sorry, 2much. I know that is a sore point for you. I can't imagine how hard that is.

I only have 2.5 weeks, so maybe others with more time can be of more help to you - although I'll keep checking in to see how you're making out.

Hi- I am so sorry you are going through this. It's a VICIOUS CYCLE. I wish I had some resources to offer. Hopefully a moderator or greeter or someone with more experience can offer you some suggestions. All I can say is do whatever it takes to get some help - even if you have the insurance that no one wants to deal with.

I'm sorry you've turned back to drinking. :hug: Why can't you go to an ER for help? They might give you meds to keep you safe during withdrawal. :hug:

You do have friends even though you don't know us in a typical way. I feel like all of the people on this board are my friends. I hope you feel the same. It is terrifying to feel alone (at least it is to me). How about going to the ER? You won't be able to drink there and just the distance from alcohol might help. Or, can you call the local AA number and get someone to sit with you or take you to a meeting? I know the pain and it is horrible. I am sorry you are in the midst of it but it can pass. I'll be thinking about you as I know others will.

I'm sorry 2much. I too wish I had some magic words. I feel for you, and truly hope and pray you get some peace and help. Positive thoughts via the internet: what I can offer.

Please go to ER xxxx

It's fairly common here that people who are struggling with sobriety provide lists of what it is they can't do to get help. Not a criticism, but an observation.

There are no words, no threats, no rewards that can bring you or anyone else to the other side of what you can't do.

You've stated your fears around not being able to stop this time until you "end up in a hospital or worse," so you seem to know what's at stake. Struggling as you are, there is only one option, and that's to take action.

2much - Your friends here are worried about you and want you to get the help you need, if that's the ER right now, then please go. It must be so hard to be alone, but we are here on SR to help as we are able.

I feel for you, sorry to hear you feel so out of control, it must be difficult but try to think about how good it felt to get sober before and focus on that, knowing you can do it again. It's also good that you are afraid, it means you know that it's a problem and has to stop, some people never have that realisation. My thoughts are with you, I really hope you get through it.

Hi 2much.

I don't really get why you can't go to the ER if you're still drinking - unless you mean you can't see yourself stopping?

If you have no family or friends handy, I'd reach out to AA again, or your regular Dr...or maybe its time to find a few rehabs that take that weird insurance card? :)
D

2much, I never knew who that woman was that would drive to the bottle shop. I would say no more and sure enough she would be in the car and on her way to the bottle shop.

I stopped and started so many times. I would get so scared that I wouldn't stop on those benders. I would think is this the one that that I can't stop, I don't want to live like this.

I am not AA but I would get myself to an AA meeting and just sit and listen, identify if you like, there is something about doing something active about the alcoholism that can help propel the end to a bender.

Just get the through the first day sober and the rest will follow....
Stay close to SR

I am no expert, but from what I understand it is the alcohol drug that is controlling you. Also the fear of never drinking again can be so scary that you just say, "hell with it". If you put a mouse in a cage and give him two buttons, one with a drug and the other food. Eventually it will only choose the drug. Not knowing that this is shrinking it's brain, destroying the central nervous system and I am sure you know the rest. Try not to beat yourself up, you are already on the right track just being here. Take Care!!

You may have started to drink again, you may be thinking you failed, but you haven't. If you had you wouldn't be here asking for help. That proves to me the fighter is alive and well and still struggling to overcome this. As others have said, I would go to an ER. Nothing I can offer can replace a medical professional. And as someone who is/was addicted to substances I'm not going to pretend to be an expert on the alcohol part. But addiction I get. And its not your fault. And you haven't failed as long as you're breathing. You're a fighter and you're bigger than this. Bigger than that bottle. You CAN DO THIS!