JBL

Maybe the exclamation point was not necessary. But I am 6 days sober and feeling very good! Thought about alcohol a few times yesterday, but was able to put it behind me and resist the urge. Went out to dinner with my wife and realized how much more I was talking and sharing my thoughts with her. I wasn't preoccupied with my self-esteem issues, insecurities, feelings of shame and guilt, that typically swirl around in my head when I had been drinking. It always closed me off and made it difficult to share my feelings. I was always so defensive and snappy, thinking she didn't care what I had to say or really loved me. Thinking hard about this, I think it was because of MY insecurities and low self-esteem ( I wasn't loving myself, so why should I be loved by someone else).

On that note, my wife has been mentioning over the past year or so that she did not feel close to me, that I didn't share my hopes, dreams, fears, anxieties, and I am finally beginning to realize that much (if not all of the reason behind this) was my inherent shame because I was always in a daze, hurting from the night before of heavy drinking.

This place is great and kudos to everyone for their dedication. Thank you all for your kind words and support. It truly keeps me going.

Happy Saturday, Feb. 15th!

Ghostlight1

Excellent! Those realizations are wonderful, although they might not make you comfortable. It's great to come out of the alcoholic daze isn't it?

I hope things just keep getting better for you.

Goose1

Congrats on Day 6 JBL. Thinking back about my binge cycles. It was always after Day 5, 6, 7 or a couple of weeks and starting to feel good about myself again. Was when I thought I could handle the booze. I would always set myself up to drink again and again. Until I accepted the fact that the booze was controlling me and I decided once and for all, for today at least (92) that I'm not getting back on that merry go round. Be careful! Keep up the manly work in communicating with your wife. That's Awesome ! If it wouldn't be for mine and her support, I just don't know where I would be. Sounds as though your wife really cares about you. Way to go and keep up the good work. You can do this... I'm going to share this in hoping as you move forward in Sobriety, it will help you at times. It has me. Post-Acute Withdrawal Symptoms - Relapse Prevention Strategies Peace !

Raider

Bravo!!!

JBL

Thanks Goose1! and Everyone! It is definitely a daily struggle but I feel much more in control than I have in the past 10 years, and that in itself is a wonderful feeling.

Continuing to fight the good fight.