savarna

Drank Wednesday to combat my fear of people I met a new friend,,,,, thinking alcohol will help my situation oh boy no it didn't.
Since I was two years sober and a year ago relapsing I have found it hard to get anything more than a few months up sober,, .
Anyhow I rang my dad up drunk my sister and my brother I must have been in blackout as I don't remember any of it so they all want nothing to do with me my fitness comp trainer is shitted off with me for the excess in calories from my binge and my hubby hates me right now as I abused him drunk, omg my 5 year old and 3 year old still love me thank god there still too young to know ,,,, how can I pick myself up from this tragic situation I feel like a bit of **** and can't even stand to look in the mirror at myself :-(

LadyinBC

Big hugs to you Savarna. This disease kicks us when we are down.

Try to get off the self hate and pity mode. I know that never was good for my recovery.

You KNOW you can do this. You've done it before.

Are you incorporating any kind of program into your recovery? You don't have to do this alone.

Dee74

Hi Savarna

I'm sorry for all that - it's the part that most of us don't think about - the consequences.

The only way is forward - head down, work hard, stay sober - you will earn back that trust and find forgiveness, in time.

It's gonna be rough for a while but you're in competition so I know you're pretty tough

Use this time - store it away to beat down any cravings or ideas that one drink is ok.

D

Ghostlight1

Sorrry about your situation.
You can maybe help asuge the damage you've done by being an example of sobriety as you were before.
You could make amends, heartfelt amends, to the people you've hurt.

That's my best advice. I really hope you can find sobriety once again as you did before.

Best to you.

ReadyAtLast

The best thing to do is concentrate on staying sober. The past is done,it can't be undone. Hopefully when people see you living sober they will forgive you and you can all move forward.

IOAA2

This disease took me down the road of shame many time with the apologies accompanying the shame until they were only words as I repeated the same old. After a decent period of not drinking the words "I'm sorry" were hardly needed. That came about by not picking up that first drink and remembering when.

BE WELL

FreeOwl

you can rebuild it all...

but you need to get yourself right.

What have you done to support your sobriety?

What is your plan to do so going forward?

This can be a turning point for the better.

savarna

I was going to aa but stopped , I will go back , I will start finding my higher power once again, I have this site that's about all the support I have I have no real friends in my life