I'm doing something different
 

I am finally doing something different. I think part of this disease convinces me that I don't need help but clearly I do. I am now part of a program and attend AA meetings. I feel the difference. Shockingly, all of our stories are very similar even though the circunstances are different.

Sobriety date 1/28/2014. I began this new path shortly after.

The first few days I told myself that this isn't for me I'm not coming back. Already I want to continue and can relate to each addict's story regardless of the drug of choice.

In summary, my way wasn't working, so I found help.

Yes my way definitely wasn't working either. I definitely need to have some kind of program to follow. Keeps me sane and keeps me growing.

Glad to hear you're doing well joecards :)

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Great that you've found something that works for you Joecards.

I'm glad you're doing well. I hope the support you get helps you stay sober for good. :)

Meetings will keep no one sober. I tried to do meetings, I did several meetings a day for god knows how long. I got drunk. I tried to work the steps through what people said in the meetings, but realized their were too many contradictory statements made in the rooms. One statement was Fake it until you make it, when another person spoke about being rigoursly honest. The fellowship (aka meetings) are only one aspect of AA. The program is a second aspect of AA. They both work together as a program of recovery.

My brain is always making up stupid excuses to not do the program of action called AA. To not go to meetings and help other suffering alcoholics, not only newcomers, or freshies to their first meeting ever, or chronic relapsers, but to the so called old-timer. Some treat the rooms as a dumping ground for their problems, the rooms were not intended for that. Some treat the rooms as a social club, they have never read anything out of the big book. They make untrue statements like, love will keep you sober, just stay active and you wont drink. Others treat the rooms as a business venture, a way to get business such as Rent To Own schemes. Still others will treat the rooms as a dating service, 13 stepping as its called. I stopped moaning about my day a very long time ago. I share how the first 100 got sober, which is what I follow. I state short stories to relay facts about the progressive nature of my disease, the chronic nature, the obsession and the cravings, the disease concept. Yeah I stopped whining, telling long winded stories, one-upmanship. Thats what a sponsor is for, the meeting after the meeting, or the meeting before the meeting.

Matt, i know. The meetings are just to stop me from isolating myself and drinking for the moment. I think that it will help. We'll see where I am a year from now. The point is, I'm not just repeating the same routine; I know how that story ends.