EverySngleNight

This reminds me of right before I went to detox and then rehab. I literally screamed out loud- "Do I have to fn DIE for somebody to see that I am struggling? Why won't anyone help me?" It was kind of crazy... yeah. But, equally as crazy- everyone I know just let me slip through the cracks as long as they were getting what they needed out of the relationship. I don't think they meant to be so selfish. I played a role in those relationships too after all.

My point is unfortunately- it's probably more common than we realize... people who need and want help, being allowed to slip through the cracks. I'm not that kind of friend, personally. But, plenty of people are willing to ignore the suffering of others in favor of the status quo. You may relate.

I think you should do what you think is right for you. If that means rehab- go! There are people that really do care, and really can help. I'm VERY glad that I went. AND- just an fyi - I was allowed to have my computer and cell phone at both facilities that I went to. If you're able to do your work in that type of situation- it's very possible for you to find a facility that can accommodate you.

I have "cut" people from my life left and right since I quit drinking. I'm learning to be assertive, and learning how/when to put myself first. It sounds like you may benefit from that as well.

Sending my best! Keep your chin up.

ErikT

Whats the worst thing that could happen if you went to rehab inpatient for 28 days?

alphaomega

Boy oh boy do I ever understand your plight. Wife, mom, daughter, business owner with 15 dependents, I mean employees .

I drank to cope. They enabled me so I would stay right where I was, so they could both subtly blame me for what was going wrong with their lives, and expect me to fix it.
And fix it I did. I put out fire after fire after fire. I fixed, and band aided, and duct taped, and nailed, and pasted, and on and on. I made it all better. Whatever it was.

And I drank. And drank and drank and drank. Til I literally could not drink anymore. My body started to shut down. My brain was giving way. To say I was spiraling downward is a total understatement. I already had one foot in the grave. And half of the other one...

So when I had no other choice but stop drinking or surely perish, I stopped drinking. I didn't go to rehab but in retrospect I wish I had. They would of had to survive. Without me. One way or the other. Because I was dying.

And let me tell you, although they all clamored on and on all of the time about how much they wished I'd quit, when I actually did, it was like a Chinese fire drill. No one knew where they fit anymore, running around jockeying for position, they all just had to kinda fall wherever they landed. And they had to make it work.

I still functioned in all my responsibilities but in a VERY limited capacity.

I had to stop cooking for a few months because that was trigger time number one. Guess what ? They all managed to survive. I stopped seeing my NPD mother 4 times a week and guess what ? She survived. I became less available to the familial demands and expectations so I could spend hours and hours on SR, and life soldiered on. I cut my hours at work. That's why I have employees, so I don't have to kill myself doing it all. I stopped going out with friends who drank too much, and we are all still friends.

I had to make RADICAL changes in every aspect of my life in order for me to save myself.

Moral of the story : your dying is not an option. But only you can make you a priority.

Save yourself.

ErikT

Is one month out of your life to save yourself really too much for you to consider?

aasharon90

First Things First is a recovery saying that
speaks loud to me when I read ur share.

Take care of what's more important first,
before u take the next emmediate step.

I needed recovery first before anything
else, because, if I didn't have that, if I
couldn't stay sober, then I surely wouldn't
have anything else. No kids, no job, no
home, no life. Id probably be dead by now
if recovery hadn't happened when it did
23 yrs ago.

Family did an intervention on me, doing
for me, getting me help for my addiction,
when I couldn't. I spent 28 days in rehab,
leaving my 2 little kids in the care of my
husband and in-laws.

They didn't mind taking care of them, so
that I could get the knowledge of my
addiction, to be taught about it, its affects
on myself and others around me. I
then took those tools with me home to
continue on with life incorporating them
in my everyday life.

Secure your job so it will be there
when u return. Get family to help
care for the kids while you r away,
and leave the rest behind so you can
focus on getting yourself healthy and
on the road in recovery to be there
for those that need you in the long run.

If I didn't take care of me first, I would
be no good for anyone else. Period.

chickippo

i know exactly how you feel - i'm on day 2 after a week-long bender that saw my sister and ex-husband call the police on me on two separate occasions. bad breakup and new apartment i didn't like saw me full of booze and self-pity, alternately begging by ex to let me come home, or threatening suicide. most unedifying.

i stopped because i remembered i might be worth more than that. i have my daughter to concentrate on - she's still with her dad and progress is slow but she needs me.

i can't go to treatment as i can't afford it. i'm relying on AA and my sister is taking me in for the weekend! even in the last 2 days of sobriety i've done more to make the apartment feel like home than i did in the previous 10.

we just got to keep on keeping on. one breath, one day, one step at a time.

you're not alone.

ErikT

Free Rehab | Drug & Alcohol Addiction - Free drug and alcohol rehab

Dee74

Some great advice here GEAH.
It's time to take care of yourself

D