ushanka83

Well just thought I'd report in on my tapering mission. I'm down to 7 UK units tonight - that's 3.94 US drinks. No sign of the dreaded withdrawals. Sleep last night was rough so I'm hoping for something better tonight. I've drunk loads of tea today and eaten well too.

I attended AA tonight. I got really anxious going but glad I did. I'm definitely going to make it part of my weekly schedule.

Tomorrow night it'll be the final 3 UK units (1.69 US drinks) of my taper and then Friday it's off to the doctors for a checkup.

Circumstances at home are currently pushing me hard to drink though. Time for bed and earplugs I think.

Dee74

I'm glad you went to a meeting. Did you get a few numbers of other AAers to call and that kind of thing?

D

hypochondriac

Glad you are getting support. SR is always here at any time of day if you are finding things tough at home too x

ushanka83

Thanks guys. I got a the numbers of two really nice people there including the guy who leads the group (is that the right term?). Will definitely be heading back there.

Stuck to the plan again last night with 7 UK units. Had a pretty uncomfortable sleep first half of the night - I woke up with my muscles twitching all over the place but I figured it was just some withdrawal and ignored it. I didn't seem too serious as I didn't wake enough properly to deal with.

I think I got some *real* sleep in the second half of the night though. I woke up feeling so sleepy and relaxed it was great.

Tonight it's down to 3 UK units and then that's it. No more! I'm feeling healthier than I've done in months. I'm so pleased - this has been a great journey and long may it continue.

I'm just going to make sure I keep an eye on myself Friday to make sure some horrible withdrawal doesn't sneak up on me.

ushanka83

Well that's it. Taper done. Last 3.2 UK units (I couldn't find anything in the shop that was exactly 3 UK units...). The house is dry. Worst case backup is a few valium I have left if I get bad withdrawals but it seems unlikely (famous last words I hope not).

I get the feeling the hard work starts from here though. Really need to focus on the each day at a time concept as I'm already trying not to freak about tomorrow evening. Need to keep busy!

Off to the doctor tomorrow AM too.

Wish me luck SR friends.

Dee74

best wishes Ushanka - you can do this

D

Silvy69

I am so happy that you are take the steps to sobriety. It is truly a great life and with the help of AA and the network you will be building you will see you are not alone. I get emotional just thinking about these steps you are taking, not long ago it was me. It will be hard but you are worth it and so much will be revealed to you. I am sending you a prayer. Sil

2muchpain

I am really happy that today what I couldn't do. Go for it.

Rar

Best wishes Ushanka. You are on your way.

sugarbear1

are you drinking lager or beer or liquor or what?

SoberLeigh

Good luck, Ushanka. SR is here is help.

ushanka83

Thank you everyone for your support. It's an amazing place here. I'm going to be checking in plenty during my first sober weekend.

I have to admit though this morning I feel as hungover as anything (I have a cold too which isn't helping). I never really suffered hangovers when I was drinking - whether that was because I never really sobered up I don't know.

I guess this is the punishment for a decade of hammering it back. I feel fuzzy, couldn't get up this morning, didn't sleep great and have a headache. I don't want a drink but I do just feel pretty poo. I've had a 3 banana smoothie with a scoop of whey protein to get me going along with some super strength multi-vitamins I've got. I'm sure I'll feel better once I get going.

I'm not drinking anything anymore (other than copious cups of tea). :-)

I was always a vodka drinker (watching the calories!!!!) drinking about 500ml a day (sometimes up to 750ml). I just dropped down the bottle sizes I was buying. I'm a lazy so and so. I'll drink what I've got and once it's gone I'm too lazy to go and get anything else. My problem was that I'd go down the shop and stock up (3 litres of Vodka) so drinking all week was easy. If I don't buy it, I won't drink it (that's the plan anyway :-) ).

I did it this way because I was medically detoxed (out-patient) in October last year. I have a fairly high tolerance to benzodiazepines anyway (never abused them so go figure) so combining that with the shame of going back to the doctor again I thought I'd take a risk and do a nice slow taper:

Night 1: 500ml or 18 UK units
Night 2: 400ml or 15 UK units
Night 3: 200ml + 1 ready mixed cocktail + 1 bottle of beer or 11 UK Units
Night 3: 200ml or 7.5 UK units
Night 4: 2 x ready mixed cocktails or 3.5 UK units.
Night 5: Nothing or 0 UK units.

Night 3 I think I had some minor withdrawal (muscle spasms) but nothing horrific. I've detoxed twice and had pretty bad withdrawals so in reality this was fairly easy. Like I say - the only thing is this morning I've woken up and feel pretty awful. No shakes or anything - just lethargic, I've got a headache and I'm struggling to get going. Feeling positive though.

for reading!

ushanka83

I believe! Third time lucky. I'm in a good place this time and I want to do this so bad. I never understood the guilt drinking gave me and that's starting to lift and it's like a weight off my shoulders.

ushanka83

Thank you so much. That means an awful lot to me. This IS giving me back the self-worth. It's strange to think I drank to give me self-worth and all it did was rob me of it more. Horrible alcohol.

ushanka83

I have been a *dedicated* drinker for the last decade. No one could tell me it was bad and if they did I agreed but didn't believe. I would go to every last length to justify my drinking. Everything I watched on television would be programmes where people were drinking and it was shown in a positive way.

I have built an entire life around alcohol - I've committed myself to hundreds of thousands of pounds / dollars of debt through poor decisions I've made due to the way of living I had.

I've been trying to quit since October when I ended up in a very bad way after a binge. I realized alcohol was going to kill but I still loved it so much. But then I read Allen Carr's Easy Way to Control (Quit really!) Drinking. I was damn suspicious that it would work but I'm a empirical man and he presents a strong argument for giving up.

So yes I've got an awful lot of my life to rebuild, but I'm getting free from the guilt and shame alcohol have given me.

I hope you find success too.

ushanka83

Thank you! Your wishes are much appreciated!

That's a mischievous looking pup you have in your avatar there.

ushanka83

Thank you. It's been good being able to write here. With my new found sobriety I'm hoping to write more - even try writing a book - I've always wanted too.

I hope if I'm successful maybe I can help others too. Early days though.

ErikT

Nice......happy to hear it.....don't give in ....you're on your way....good work!!!