Can you stay sober without AA meetings?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bklyn. NY
Posts: 1,859
I was a complete and total mess when I got sober. I was anxiety and panic ridden, a complete social misfit, and felt comfortable nowhere without alcohol, valium, or something else to fix my brain and emotions. I am EXTREMELY grateful that at the time I got sober, there was really no option other than AA. It was long before the internet, and the myriad of options available today. The reason I'm grateful is because I was forced to stick it out, as uncomfortable and against the grain for me as it was. If given other options, I'm almost certain I would have taken them. I did not like the taste of AA meetings as my medicine.
Because I had no other alternatives, what I find in hindsight was that I was forced on a daily basis to push at the walls of my comfort zone. My world and experience got bigger and bigger, and in time I evolved into a person who was completely different than the person who needed to drink in order to feel like a normal human being. Yeah, AA wasn't me, for sure... but I needed very much to be someone who wasn't "me", because "me" was a total wreck.
Everybody has their own path and will do what they feel they need to do. I wouldn't however discount anything in early sobriety simply because it feels uncomfortable. Uncomfortable may be precicely what you need at this point in the game.
That's my experience and opinion.
Because I had no other alternatives, what I find in hindsight was that I was forced on a daily basis to push at the walls of my comfort zone. My world and experience got bigger and bigger, and in time I evolved into a person who was completely different than the person who needed to drink in order to feel like a normal human being. Yeah, AA wasn't me, for sure... but I needed very much to be someone who wasn't "me", because "me" was a total wreck.
Everybody has their own path and will do what they feel they need to do. I wouldn't however discount anything in early sobriety simply because it feels uncomfortable. Uncomfortable may be precicely what you need at this point in the game.
That's my experience and opinion.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,055
If you feel you would like outside support and F2F contact have a look and see if there are any SMART meetings around you. There are very different to an AA meeting and I have seen a few couple sitting attending.
There is no identifying, it's more open and working out strategies and talking. More CDT.
There is no identifying, it's more open and working out strategies and talking. More CDT.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Clifton
Posts: 243
I have had issues with AA but not the program but the people. So I fixed that, I take what I need and leave the rest. If I don't like a certain group I don't go back. Plenty of meetings in my area and I have built a network and have a sponsor .. She is a cool old timer that have what I want and helps me tremendously. I went thru a love hate relationship with the program until I figured things out. Now I work the steps because I want to and I attend meetings as well because I want to and it is what works for me. Some aa members left me scared ... Petrified if I didn't do certain things and I almost went out from the stress from my first sponsor. It is all fixed because I took a step back and had support for advice 
.
My higher power got my back as I approach 7 months of sobriety.
. My higher power got my back as I approach 7 months of sobriety.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 316
Dee-
I think this is a good start. I love to write, so this is a great forum!!! Thanks for all your kindness.
The pressure of not having to attend a Tuesday night AA meeting when I should be at home with young kids is liberating! And knowing its not the only way....
My mother comes to visit Thursday for the weekend. Believe me, she'd drive any of you to drink! Lol. Boy can she get some digs in while she's here!
I know people say get rid of the toxicity in your life, but wonder if its your own mother? It takes weeks to recover after I see her. I guess you could say she's a trigger. Grrr
I think this is a good start. I love to write, so this is a great forum!!! Thanks for all your kindness.
The pressure of not having to attend a Tuesday night AA meeting when I should be at home with young kids is liberating! And knowing its not the only way....
My mother comes to visit Thursday for the weekend. Believe me, she'd drive any of you to drink! Lol. Boy can she get some digs in while she's here!
I know people say get rid of the toxicity in your life, but wonder if its your own mother? It takes weeks to recover after I see her. I guess you could say she's a trigger. Grrr
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 316
I'm not going to let her (my mother) trip up my sobriety and peace of mind! Or anything for that matter because I can handle bad and good things so much better with a clear head. This is the new me. I have to keep playing this over and over again. The new tape.
I need a hot tub about now. We r in a drought, so no baths allowed! That's my other way to relax in the evening. Both are gone. Bummer!
I need a hot tub about now. We r in a drought, so no baths allowed! That's my other way to relax in the evening. Both are gone. Bummer!
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: West St Paul Minnesota
Posts: 20
I will be a year sober on Friday valentines day and I have not attended 1 AA meeting since I got sober because I find them very depressing I realize I have the right and opportunity to drink but I make the commitment to not drink for that day its easier that way just one day at a time taking personal responsibility for my recovery so yes it can be done stay strong
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
I broke free of the bottle without AA. That was 3+ years ago. That said, you can bet I would have tried AA if SR and AVRT hadn't done the trick.
However you do it, you are going to be soooooo glad you did it. Welcome to SR!
However you do it, you are going to be soooooo glad you did it.
Welcome to SR!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 316
I know it sucks! Diet pop is supposed to trick the body into craving more and more sugar. Sparkling water is the way to go for carbonation. But I currently am gulping up the diet Pepsi.
One day at a time.
One thing at a time....
One day at a time.
One thing at a time....
2Cor5:17
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Between Doctor's opinion & pg 164
Posts: 4,187
Wow Ms Kate! Decade of sobriety w/o aa??! Never would have thot some1 saying that but there it is..loh Now I know might step on some toes but this is IMHO only w/ all due respect to every1 including Lucy- think most people think or can stay sober w/o aa coz it requires work ie I have to go to mtgs n share my past, have to open 12&12 to study & find out who John really is & why he did what he did so doesnt repeat it again, have to share my character defects & be accountable for whats going on btwn my ears etc
Let me repeat it again: if you are sober for however long & a yr from now in your heart rolling solo in sobriety works for you, then KUDOS to all & I tip my hat
To each his own; thx Lucy for this
Let me repeat it again: if you are sober for however long & a yr from now in your heart rolling solo in sobriety works for you, then KUDOS to all & I tip my hat
To each his own; thx Lucy for this
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