Sydney1988

One of the things I'm also worried about is what is my social life going to look like if I don't have alcohol in my life? A lot of my friendships involve alcohol. Not in an over the top way, but catching up with friends is usually over a drink. Or maybe dinner with wine. I know everyone in my life will be supportive of me and my decision to cut back because at least a couple of friends have suggested I do so. But I want to still be able to celebrate my birthday with champagne. Or not worry about not having my social lubricant anymore. How did your social life change after you let go of alcohol?

MamaGoat

Mine changed a lot. I am much more social now that I go to AA meetings. I didn't socialize much at all while drinking. You are going to have some changes for sure. I just remember that if I don't make changes I will die. I have no doubt that I cannot control my drinking. If I drink I will die. I can't die, I have too many animals that depend on me. I also don't want to risk killing anyone else. Simple as that.

Sydney1988

Interesting. My through process is a little different. I'm quite social now and I'm worried about missing out on that. Almost FOMO. But I guess you're right, dying won't be fun.

Dee74

Hi Sydney

I had to make a lot of changes - most of my friends by the end were as heavy drinkers as I was and most of our recreation was centered around drinking.

I really don't feel I missed out on the deal tho - I made a lot of new friends and
discovered a lot of new interests.

I built a life that suited the person sober me became, & I really love it .

ReadyAndAble

I was worried about that too. But ultimately it changed for the better.

Honestly, for the first few months I was basically a hermit. I spent my time exercising, reading, watching movies, playing music. And I spent a LOT of time on SR.... which, come to think of it, probably helped to fill some of the social void.

But as time went by, I started going to parties, meeting friends for dinner. I even meet friends for drinks sometimes, just my drink happens to be an iced tea. It is sooooo much more enjoyable now that I'm not obsessing over booze, counting my drinks, trying to keep it under control, obsessing, obsessing... Instead, I can just enjoy the conversation and soak up the energy of the place. It's cool, feeling in control, completely at ease. I bet you're going to like it too.

.

peanutty

Hi Sydney. Yes, I am finding that some of my friends are changing now that I'm sober but to be honest I'd let most of my good friendships dwindle in favor of the bottle for quite some time. It's more a matter of getting some real friends at this point. I've reached out a little and have found it surprisingly easy to make a few sober friends. New friends are turning out to be a very cool side effect of being sober. Try to give yourself permission not to overthink it. Just focus on getting sober for now. The rest will come.

Vikings

I'm in the same boat Sydney. All my closest friends are raging party animals, all our great memories and mine are wild nights out partying. I've pretty much locked myself away now but just drink by myself because I can't go out with friends and drink. It sucks, feels like my friends chose booze over me.

Sydney1988

I'm so sorry to hear that. It's not a nice feeling is it. I'm not sure what the answer is, but If I find it, I'll let you know ASAP. I'm pretty sure we just need to find better friends and a new way of having fun. The hard part is I have such good memories of drinking champagne and going at it hard. It feel's like I won't be able to top that. But again, I guess I need to move on and find a new champagne. Something that won't hurt me.

Itchy

It gets better. You can design the life you want, instead of settling for the limitations of the alcoholic.

Toffee1

It sounds to me as if you are still romanticising the drink. Selective memory of all the good things you think it does for you. I still have all my old friends and do exactly the same things as I have always done but just don't drink, simple as that. I enjoy the occasions much more, don't make an idiot of myself , remember everything and wake up hangover free! These thoughts you are having are pretty normal because you are giving up a friendship that has endured for many years and has always been there for you, you are feeling a sense of grief but give it time and you will realise what that relationship actually was and how much better your life can be without it. Hope this helps a little.

Marcher13

Seriously Sydney? Good memories of going hard at champagne? If you think hard about it I'll bet the good memories are in the first glass when the champagne was cold and bubbly and you were sober and anticipating a fun time. I'd be willing to bet that by glass three or four the memories were less good and the morning exit of the champagne was plain off, something you'd rather forget. How do I know? Because I used to say the same thing about champagne and wine. In fact for me there were no good memories, I romanticised the "good times", I continually forgot I cannot stop at one.

Any good time was followed by a hungover morning with dry retches, throwing up, a rotten headache.