Do relapses get more difficult to overcome?
 

I was wondering, for people who have had many failed attempts at staying sober permanently, whether you feel that with each "failed" attempt (i.e., with each relapse), it gets more and more difficult to get back on the wagon and stay sober permanently?

I am using this as one of the reasons for avoiding relapse, as I keep telling myself that it will only be harder next time. What is the reasoning behind this? Is it because we are frustrated over yet another setback? I'm curious about what people think about this.

Yes, it was always hard for me because of the guilt thing x

Yes and no.

I do know that it gets worse each time. That's for sure.

I remind myself when I'm having a crappy day in sobriety that even though recovery can be difficult sometimes (often) it really is so much better than being out there. When I'm in the middle of my crappy day, it's sometimes difficult to see it that way but it's the truth.

It's much easier (for me) to stay sober than to get sober. I don't ever want to go through it again .... and the most awesome thing is that I don't have to.

my experience has been that each successive time, the circumstances that lead me BACK to sobriety became worse and worse, harder and harder....

the overcoming, in some ways was made easier - because the terrible evidence became harder to ignore....

That said; I do not recommend any more relapses than you absolutely must have.

:)

It's certainly a good reason to not drink again, it will be harder. There are physiological and mental reasons as to why ( see the kindling link ) but the bottom line is - yes, it will get harder each time. I can say from personal experience that for me it got worse every time I had some sobriety and then went back to drinking.

Notice I didn't use the word "relapse" either, because in my mind, either you drink or you don't. A relapse suggests that we have a condition that comes and goes - but with alcoholism you are always an alcoholic. We merely choose to abstain or drink, and when we choose to drink bad things happen because we are alcoholics.

For me the guilt of drinking after having made a commitment to myself is what gets harder to deal with. I can relate, I've stopped drinking for long periods of time white knuckling it through the cravings only to give in and feel very guilty and ashamed. Working the steps and developing new tools is my new approach! Thanks for sharing!

The guilt used to be really bad, and I've found that in the last year or two I don't really care after I end a binge. I've been down that road so many times that it's just old, and really it doesn't accomplish anything to hang on to the shame and regret.

It's the same for the day count. I used to go on long walks and just think about how I wish I had more days and how things were going to be so awesome when I had three months, a year, two years... Things never really turned out that way, nothing magical ever happened. You spend so much time hoping for the future that you completely miss what is right in front of you.

As for the actual relapses, they're pretty much the same. I'll go and pick up a bag and use for about a week, pretty much every single day. Eventually I burn out and flush the rest, that part has been pretty much the same for the last several years.

It always seemed like they were more and more difficult to overcome. Felt humiliated and let down and I didn't want to face those feelings (or didn't know how to) and would drink away the emotions. Then I would have drank for such a long period that I no longer remembered what it felt like to be sober and I just kept drinking.

Yes....a thousand times, yes!! Every time we relapse...it gets so much harder to get sober. For me, it was because after having a lot of experience with withdrawals...I knew what my body was in for if I didn't keep alcohol in my system. So fear of withdrawal became what kept me drinking. I had been to every hospital in my area a ton of times....I became too embarrassed to go to the ER. Nurses began to recognize me. EMS people knew me by name. But I swallowed my embarrassment and finally went to the hospital....and then straight to rehab....

All I know is that the withdrawals got worse and worse til it was well nigh unbearable. :(