ArcticSA

35 days and I dont know what to say

This happened last time I quit too. Its like I completely forget that I was ever an alcoholic and life goes on and I have to force myself to come on here and be accountable because this is the only place where anyone knows why I'm sober.

As I get more sober days I feel more brave and THREE times to THREE different people I have mentioned how long its been since I drank and I get basically no response, and what do I expect??
I'm trying to get affirmation and encouragement and acknowledgement and I get a passing "Oh" because they're thinking "What's the big deal? I haven't drank since Thanksgiving?"
And now I'm getting nervous because I kind of feel like I'm living a lie or hiding something because my life has done a 360 and there is no one around to notice or even care.
I watched a movie about addiction(sex addiction but addiction either way) and they were talking about "white-knuckling" it vs. a group and steps and they were arguing and the guy who was trying to defend white-knuckling ended up relapsing and now I'm thinking, OK, here I am feeling complacent and white-knuckling all alone, maybe its time to go to a meeting....

doggonecarl

If you are telling people who don't know the extent of your problem that you aren't drinking, then the reaction you are getting should be expected.

Better to go to a meeting and share with those who understand.

ClearMind

ArcticSA,

I have the same issues as you do. I have been sober for a little while now, and I have managed it so that the only people who really realize that I have quit drinking are the people on SR. In my "real" life, nobody really knows, even my fiance. Sure, she knows that I haven't been drinking lately, but she doesn't know that I made a decision to stop drinking because of my problem. To her, I just "haven't been drinking as much lately".

What has happened with me in the past is that the longer I stay sober, the more I get used to living a good life and I don't dwell on the negatives associated with my destructive drinking, and the reasons I had quit in the first place. I don't necessarily have to "force" myself to come to SR, but when the week approaches Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, then I seem to have more cravings and it can be quite challenging to refrain from drinking. I've been doing very well over the past several months, but I can't be complacent, or else I will end up losing the battle with my AV.

Dee74

Yep, folks who have no problem don't understand the problem, arcticSA. What is a monumental achievement for us is what they do everyday.

That's why places like this and AA and Smart and whatever else - places where you can converse with other alcoholics and addicts is so important.

There's not many hugs and parades for folks getting sober...and if you go in recovery expecting that like I did a time or two, you're bound to be disappointed, I think.

Encouragement is important tho, and we'll always give you a bit of a shout out here - 35 days is great going

D

least

Congrats on 35 days sober!

silentrun

Congratulations on 35 days!

HopeSho

Congrats on 35 days! I'm about to hit 42 days and it keeps getting better and better. Well, it's hard sometimes, but definitely worth it. I haven't forgotten anything I said or did in the last 42 days nor have I done anything I'm ashamed of. Keep up the good work!

neferkamichael

ArcticSA, 35 days is FANTASTIC, congratulations. There are people who will be jealous because you are sober. Rootin for ya.

veryready

I care and I am very happy to see you doing so well. I was reading the new posts one night and saw one of your first posts. I was worried for your life at that time. You are doing awesome. I have read plenty of scary posts from people who never posts again. It is excellent to see you fighting at this.