jessie65

Not even sure how it got me, it happened too fast. I've been sick, feeling like crap, and depressed, and just needed relief I guess, even for a few hours.

Had almost 2 months of sobriety. Back to day 1.

abcowboy

Hi Jessie, I did the same thing a month ago, was sober for 2 months, then slipped. Quit again the very next day, and started over.... 5 weeks tomorrow!

jessie65

Thank-you, that is encouraging.
I'm still feeling determined to quit for good, it just stinks to lose almost 2 months. I didn't even get drunk (was afraid of the horrendous hangover I had last time), only had about 4 drinks and was sober at bedtime (and regretful already).

LadyinBC

You have 2 months of sober time that no one, not even you, can take away from you. You did it. You can do it again.

Focus on what kept you going for those 2 months. People make mistakes, you learn from them. This journey is not easy for anyone, we all have made mistakes along the way.

serious

exactly, LadyinBC...

sober time is sober time. you didn't ruin it.. you were actually sober for 2 months. you weren't under the influence

that's not time wasted. every sober day counts. especially if you make it count.

IOAA2

Congratulations for getting back in one piece. In similar situations my pain was facing my group with the news and gratefully the said KEEP COMING. I did and many years later I'm very grateful for their response.
Being alcoholic our thinking works differently especially in the beginning year. It scares me that we can easily thing that after we relapse the thinking for many easily can be "that wasn't too bad as I can always come back." I've seen far too many never make it back and too soon end up in places we didn't aspire to be at. For example, about 80% of the prison population in the US are there as a result of involvement with drugs/alcohol. Cemeteries and mental institutions are well up there as well. Just the facts.

BE WELL

EverySngleNight

You lost a few hours to drinking, but like ^they're saying - you didn't blow 2 months. You're starting over and you're not giving up! I think you can be proud of that. Early recovery is hard, but the most important thing is to keep at it. Stay strong!

least

You didn't lose your sober time. You've just learned a painful lesson. It's good you're back here starting again.

ClearMind

Don't worry about it, Jessie. Don't view it as wasting two months... 2 months spent sober is anything but a waste. That's 2 months of not poisoning yourself with a toxin, giving your mind and body time to recover a little bit. Pick up where you left off!

Threshold

Even though it happened fast, and you're not sure how it got you...I think it's worth examining just what was happening and why you drank again. It can help it not happen again.

Glad you're back!

Anna

Hi Jessie,

I'm glad you're back and trying again.

ReadyAtLast

I understand-got to 6 weeks, felt great and then drank and carried on for many more months before quitting again. I felt physically and mentally bad, guilt,shame,anger, fear that I just couldn't get/stay sober,selfloathing and a lack of hope.

But I did quit again 14 months ago. You can do this-give it everything you've got. you know you can quit for several weeks.The trick for me was to learn how to stay sober when the memories faded and when unexpected cravings arose. Building up your sober toolbox as Dee calls it

Jeni26

I did exactly the same thing. I was sober for 2 months when I first joined, then relapsed. It was the worst feeling and I wondered whether I'd ever get this thing right...

That was 20 months ago and I haven't had a drink since...

It is possible, get on up and start again. Life is really good now

gleefan

@jessie - Your drinks were part of your journey and now you're back to sobriety. Don't be so hard on yourself.

@ready - How do we build sober toolboxes for when those cravings arise and the bad memories fade?

jessie65

Thank-you all, it really helps to be here and read all the encouraging words.

I felt so bad this morning knowing I was back on day 1. But you're right, I still spent that 2 months taking care of my body. I was eating healthy and not poisoning myself so that has to count for something. Aside from my cold today, I'm not sick from it, luckily.

I was around people yesterday that make me want to drink, my only excuse. All I wanted to do was come home and escape into a bottle. The whole time though I was aware of the 'after' so I guess that's what kept me from totally over-doing.

Back at it, I want permanent sobriety.

josseh

Don't think 1 night erases all the hard work you did in 2 months. You are a different person to who you were when you first started. Nothing can take that away from you dude!

Bruce292

It's two months where your mind and body got some time to recover. When I would relapse I'd feel badly as well but I'd tell myself "next time I'll do better". We all have to be in this for the long haul. Don't let one stumble discourage you.

FreeOwl

others have said it but I'll say it too;

you didn't blow two months... you GAVE yourself two months of awesome sobriety.

I know it sucks feeling like you failed, feeling remorse, etc etc.... but beating yourself up will lead to further risk to your sobriety.

Take this opportunity to actively review what you've learned. Write it down. Type it here to us. Print it out.... print out all our replies and put it in a binder and have that be the start of your new "recovery journal".

Go to an AA meeting. Talk to a sponsor....

Take action.

This can be a growth opportunity and a brief hurdle on your broader road to a joyful recovery or it can be the beginning of a downhill slide....

the choice is yours.

We're here for you.

ReadyAtLast

Many things. firstly I used urge surfing which teaches us to sort of "ride"the crave.Cravings only last a few seconds/minutes although it seems like hours at the time.

What is Urge Surfing?

I found quitting perhaps easier than some people did. Lulled into a false sense of security perhaps? When the cravings did arise I really had no idea how to deal with them. I thought the only way of dealing with them was to drink-it was almost a certainty- I had to drink. I didn't realize that it would pass and I would feel better and stronger for NOT drinking.

Mindfulness and positive thinking have been important to me too. Learning howto react and deal with situations when I would have just reached for a drink.Yoga helps me and SR too

KateL

I did this many times. Just get back on the horse and you'll get there xxxx