Why cant i stay sober
Hope for change
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Long Meadow, MA
Posts: 101
Why cant i stay sober
No matter how much time of sobriety I get under my belt I always always ruin it, I ruin everything, relationships, material things, friendships. I just hate everything that I am right now, I feel like I'm destined to be a loser
Hope for change
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Long Meadow, MA
Posts: 101
But they aren't lies, they are true, I go back on my word constantly, I'm not an honest person not even to myself, I tell myself I'm fine all the time. I make fun of ppl I know that have drinking problems and call them losers and drunks but I'm the loser! I'm the drunk! And I'm such an attention ***** when I'm drinking it's pathetic
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
nobody is destined to be a loser....
but if we tell ourselves such things, we can indeed redirect ourselves to that 'destiny'.
I don't know what underpins your struggle thus far but I do know that in my own experience the reasons that I 'couldn't stay sober' had to do with my not fully committing to sobriety and ensuring that I was doing the work, had the support, was ACTIVELY working on myself.
Just "not drinking" is only the beginning of sobriety....
What have you been doing to support your sobriety? What have you tried? What have you NOT tried? What have you been resisting?
You are not destined to be a loser... you are an expression of Spirit and you are here for Love and Joy, Growth and Wonder, Exploration and Learning....
but if we tell ourselves such things, we can indeed redirect ourselves to that 'destiny'.
I don't know what underpins your struggle thus far but I do know that in my own experience the reasons that I 'couldn't stay sober' had to do with my not fully committing to sobriety and ensuring that I was doing the work, had the support, was ACTIVELY working on myself.
Just "not drinking" is only the beginning of sobriety....
What have you been doing to support your sobriety? What have you tried? What have you NOT tried? What have you been resisting?
You are not destined to be a loser... you are an expression of Spirit and you are here for Love and Joy, Growth and Wonder, Exploration and Learning....
No quitting on yer quit eh!
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,875
I have no magical words for you 1234 other than, you can make it to your 100th time, 200th if need be......I know, I was there, but there will be no more 100th time for me again, just one day at a time! Life is too precious to waste it in the bottom of a bottle...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by Itsmytime1234 
No matter how much time of sobriety I get under my belt I always always ruin it, I ruin everything, relationships, material things, friendships. I just hate everything that I am right now, I feel like I'm destined to be a loser
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 31
Originally Posted by Emr
I have self destruction tendency's myself. I'm only on day 3. It's more than just drinking, I need to work on myself also. I don't want to overload by fixing everything at once so I'm working on one thing at a time right now.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
I agree with Freeowl.I only got sober when I was fully committed to staying sober,wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink and knew that drinking really no
longer was an option.
Just trying to stop isn't enough. Don't try, do. Do whatever it takes, get whatever suppport you need,do something you 've not done before. firstly,move all alcohol out of your house,avoid drinking friends and places, have a plan
longer was an option.
Just trying to stop isn't enough. Don't try, do. Do whatever it takes, get whatever suppport you need,do something you 've not done before. firstly,move all alcohol out of your house,avoid drinking friends and places, have a plan
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
Originally Posted by Itsmytime1234
I just hate everything that I am right now, I feel like I'm destined to be a loser
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by Benedict
May I ask what specifically you're doing when you're working on those things?
So the issues I know I have I google and try to get to the bottom of why I do what I do and understand them a little. When somebody says something that makes me mad I try not responding until I've calmed down and can give a clear thought out response. Obviously drinking kind of blocks my ability to give clear thought out responses. LOL!
I'm not trying to change who I am. Just trying to change some of the things so I'm not being self destructive.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
heres a reply that was posted in another thread:
If I don't have a positive attitude I can't do anything. If I have a positive attitude, there's little I can't accomplish.
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church....a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our attitudes
If I don't have a positive attitude I can't do anything. If I have a positive attitude, there's little I can't accomplish.
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church....a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our attitudes
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 31
Originally Posted by Emr
Really just researching on the internet. I have some codependency issues. Plus when I get angry I speak out without calming down and thinking first.
So the issues I know I have I google and try to get to the bottom of why I do what I do and understand them a little. When somebody says something that makes me mad I try not responding until I've calmed down and can give a clear thought out response. Obviously drinking kind of blocks my ability to give clear thought out responses. LOL!
I'm not trying to change who I am. Just trying to change some of the things so I'm not being self destructive.
So the issues I know I have I google and try to get to the bottom of why I do what I do and understand them a little. When somebody says something that makes me mad I try not responding until I've calmed down and can give a clear thought out response. Obviously drinking kind of blocks my ability to give clear thought out responses. LOL!
I'm not trying to change who I am. Just trying to change some of the things so I'm not being self destructive.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,777
Stop believing that you're a loser. That's a self fulfilling prophesy.
Tell yourself that you have hope, that there's a good chance you can change your way of life. I used to think I was destined to die a hopeless drunk but I changed that. 
You can too! 
Tell yourself that you have hope, that there's a good chance you can change your way of life. I used to think I was destined to die a hopeless drunk but I changed that. You can too! 
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