Cassabell

Hi, I'm Cassabell, and I got Hospitalized last Saturday night. I collapsed in front of some cops and they called an ambulance and i woke in the Hospital. This happened one before. I've finally admitted I'm a binge drinker. Once i start I cant stop. I feel depressed and disgusting, like some loser idiot waking up in Hospital. I a self destructive. The weird thing is that everything else in life is going well, so I dont know why I do this. I'm sick of telling myself I wont drink anymore and doing it anyway. I have blackouts. I act weird, like im on drugs when I drink red wine. i dont want to drink anymore, I want to STOP! Please help

Coldfusion

Welcome, Cassabell!

A lot of us on this forum have learned to stay sober. I attend a couple AA meetings a week, and spend a lot of time here at SoberRecovery.

Read around and post often!

1newcreation

Welcome aboard!
Sounds to me: sick & tired of being sick & tired. This is the place to be. The support is great. Bk an appt w/ doc so can wean off safely & detox. Then join aa coz this disease cannot be defeated alone. Get a sponsor, do whats suggested & begin living the life you were created to live. Btw, there's nthg to be ashamed about being in aa. Your anonymity is protected

FeelingGreat

Hi Cassabell, welcome to SR, you've come to the right place. Have a look around the threads and 'stickies' (which are useful threads which have been saved) and you'll see there are lots of ex-binge drinkers who finally said enough. I wasn't a binge drinker, but I did get through a bottle of wine every night and like you I felt horrible and hated my behaviour. I also kept telling myself I would stop and drinking anyway.
I think the best thing i did was talk to my doctor and tell him the truth about how much I drank (this was hard), after that I spent a while looking up alcohol and alcoholism on the internet. After about a month it all just clicked and I made myself a promise not to drink for a year. When the year was up I was so used to feeling happy with myself and guilt free I just kept going.
Throughout this time I've found SR to be a huge support, and I'm sure it has helped me stay sober all this time.

Cassabell

Thanks Feeling Great :-) Im feeling inspired already! I am glad I came here. How wonderful that you were strong and kept away from it! I told the Doctors at the Hospital, as I had a self realization waking up in there with a fluid drip in my arm, that I am alcoholic. Today is my my first step

Dee74

Hi Cassabell - welcome

you'll find a lot of support here and a lot of encouragement. None of us are losers, or weak, or morally deficient - we're just addicted to alcohol or drugs.

There really is life after drinking and a lot of hope too - look around - read and post as much as you like

D

Mags1

Hi Cassabell, welcome to SR, you've taken the first steps, jump aboard xx

KateL

Welcome Cassabel xxx

least

I hope the support you find here can help you stop drinking for good.

Nonsensical

Welcome to SR! You found a great place to get support and information.

I spent a lot of time believing that about myself - that I was self-destructive. My life was going great - but I kept getting blackout drunk most nights. The only answer that made any sense to me at that time was that I was somehow subconsciously self-destructive.

It turns out it wasn't true. I just fundamentally did not understand what alcohol addiction was or how it impacts the brain. Once I learned more about those things I realized I am not self-destructive, I am addicted - and that has been key in helping me stay sober.

So simple in hindsight, but it took me a looooooong time to figure it out.

Best of Luck on Your Journey!

ForeverANewGuy

Thank you for posting Casabell and welcome!

Compass1

Good Luck. I related to so much of what you said. I was blackout drunk this past Friday after going through several bottles of red wine at a dinner party, followed by an after party. The way that I reportedly acted (in my blackout) is akin to a person who is on drugs. It is embarrassing to say the least and I feel terrible about myself. I hope to see you on the boards here.

Cassabell

Hi Compass1 thankyou, its such a weird feeling and that awful feeling the next day.! It feels nice that someone can relate. :-) i know it can be one step at a time but i really want to vow to never act like that again! We can do this!!