PinotNOmore

As to be expected... Someone gave me an "out" to drink tonight... "oh, you lost your baby? At least you can drink now!!" So I did...11 days+ 37 days down the drain! Sadness cannot describe what I'm feeling right now. Just want this poison out of my body! Yuck! Drinking sucks! Every time I fail, it proves it more. I didn't drink much tonight, but my body/ mind are hurting. A LOT! Hope everyone's Sat night was better than mine!

ScottFromWI

Sorry you drank Pinot. Remember that you are the only one who can choose to drink,regardless if someone else thinks it's OK or not. I know you are going through hard times, but you need to own up to your own choices if you truly want to quit.

Silvy69

I say stay away from people place and things and join a program .. Good luck.

ZeldaFan

Hang in there Pinot! I can recall that feeling after a slip and just wanting to get back to how I felt with days under my belt. I slipped three times after deciding I wanted to quit for good. Each time I learned something from it. The third time, I realized I really didn't like drinking. It just clicked after that and it made shutting down my AV a lot easier. Embrace that feeling of hating the idea of alcohol in your system and hang onto it for next time.

PinotNOmore

I know, I know, I know. Thanks Scott... but yes. I know~ urrggg

1newcreation

Sorry for your loss. Don't undstd how a friend can suggest drinking over that is perplexing. I'm sure that this is a very sensitive & mourning time. Are there any recovery groups near or attend a church that could offer support? There's nthg worth drinking over today coz the situation won't change but cause even more depression & heartache
If I'm not comfortable about doing smthg, then I try my best not to do it for I don't need 1 more regret in life
Best wishes & keep posting

MariahGayle

Those days aren't down the drain....you know how you want to feel & live. Don't beat yourself up & just move forward...(((HUGS))))to you

CAPTAINZING2000

If it's a good friend they won't question your decision not to drink.
I don't miss being hung over.
Something I never understood why we return to the scene of the crime knowing the end result will make us feel like we have the flu next the morning. What strange thinking we have to associate that as a way to have fun

Dee74

Pinot why not join the class of February thread - post at least once a day - you'll find great support there

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...2014-a-10.html

D

silentrun

Sorry what you are going through. I don't know how that feels. I only have had one pregnancy and it went pretty normal. I do remember when I first started abusing alcohol I couldn't drink if I was upset because it just seemed to intensify whatever emotion I had when I started.

SunriseSky

I agree with MariahGayle. Those 37 days were 888 hours you enjoyed life free from alcohol. Because of that time, you know you can do it again and you know how good it will feel when you do.

It sounds like you need a warm bed, a soft blanket and a big hug.

PinotNOmore

Thank you all! I got the bed and the blanket... The hug however will not be coming. My husband's not too pleased with me and that's to be expected. Not because I drank, but because I tried to lie about how much. Stupid. Back to day one this morning, feeling like crap after 4 drinks total. Can't believe I used to drink double, sometimes triple, this amount and still make it to a 7am work shift! Just further proof that things are not the same as they used to be.

Dee, you may not see this question, but I'm part of the Dec class from when I quit then... Haven't posted there in a while though... Should I join the February class as well?

Well, off to get some breakfast. I've been having to force myself to eat since the miscarriage and im sure my one taco didn't help with the drinking yesterday. I even had dreams about hiding beer, and I hate beer!

ScottFromWI

I'd personally say join the Feb thread and start fresh. I'd also second Dee's recommendation about posting daily. Sobriety is an every day job, and no matter what you plan is, skipping a day almost always leads to failure.

Nuudawn

Hangovers are masochistic in nature. These are not days we are "lovin' ourselves""..they are hard on the psyche and self esteem and well, just basically fuel the shame core we addicts already possess in spades.

Learning to live with ourselves as we are is an arduous journey and the required ingredients vary for many. Why the hell is so difficult for us to reconcile ourselves.

Dee74

I say two threads of support is better than one Pinot

D

ScottFromWI

Hope all is well Pinot, the Feb thread is here waiting for ya ;-)