MyTime86

Hi, I'm 20 days sober and feeling pretty good. But the last 20 days I avoided my friends who drink. I got a phone call from them today saying how they want to see me an their getting all the guys together for a night of drinking. I told them I'm trying to stay sober but they didn't want to hear it, they aren't use to me turning down alcohol filled nights . I don't know what to do I want to hang out an try not to drink but I know it will be a little hard. Any advice??

zerothehero

It depends if you're ready. Is there any focus to the gathering other than drinking? I did okay with live music, a Superbowl party, and a movie night but I have avoided gatherings that are strictly about partying. I'm 44 days sober. The fact that you're asking leads me to believe you want to say no. If you think they will pressure you, I wouldn't go. Just me.

MyTime86

No reason strictly to get drunk, I definitely don't want to waste my progress. But I feel like I should get out an have a life I don't want to hide the rest of my days, I know there will be some pressure an I will have to face sometime in my life you think I should just go out an stand my ground

heath480

You don't sound confident that you won't drink.Give it a miss until you are stronger in your sobriety.

Dee74

You can have a life....I found plenty of things to do that didn't involve alcohol - going out for coffee, to the movies..hobbies,. sports...

I stayed away from events where drinking was the focal point for a lot longer than 20 days tho - and I stopped hanging around my drinking buddies all together....

I;'d gone back to my old life before - easy I thought...all I need to do is not drink.

However good my intent was those situations ended in one of 3 ways - I drank, I drank later, or I was deathly miserable because I couldn't drink.

pickles999

did you ever hear the expression you do not got
barber shop not to get a haircut.if your trying to stay sober be careful.you might be potting yourself in harms way.

30yrdrunk

Personally, I would stay away. You'll either drink or be so stressed out trying not to you won't have a good time.

I will be 8 weeks sober tomorrow. My hope is that over time the strong cravings will dissipate and things will get easier. Not sure when that time will be; but I'm hopeful. I don't want to jeopardize the sober time I have.

No matter what. Don't drink. Give yourself some time to heal and get better.

Hearts

I'd stay away. Who wants to be around a bunch of drunk people? I don't think even normal drinkers would enjoy being sober around drunk people. Drunk people are loud and generally obnoxious, lol. They may need more time to get used to you not drinking or accept that you are serious about not drinking. Maybe hang out with them in smaller groups or one-on-one with no drinking? Hopefully they'll catch on that you mean it.

MyTime86

Thank you all for the support, I think it's best for me to not go. Mainly because my friends our having a hard time believing I have an issue so it will just be hard on all of us. I'll update you guys

zerothehero

Key question: Who wants to be around a bunch of drunk people?

Answer: Drunk people.

MyTime86

An congrats to all of you on your time sober, it's tough but tomorrow morning when I wake up feeling good I will owe it to you good people

bigsombrero

Don't go. This is an easy "no".

darkfaith

Congratulations on your sobriety so far, if you don't feel confident enough don't risk it.

Could you arrange to catch up with your mates another time, make the plans eg bowling, sports events etc...so you have some control on where you go as to avoid drinking but still hang out?? Im not in your position yet but will be once I get my crap together and quit properly. And I know that hanging out with friends will be tough as most of them are all drinkers and doesn't matter where they are or go there's always an esky nearby.

Good luck

least

I'm glad you're not going. It sounds like a frustrating night to me. If they aren't taking you seriously then there may be pressure on you to drink. You don't need that.

bllit

I'm 20 days sober theres no way I would go i've been having a craving since fri to have a beer only one yeah right

MyTime86

Well I'm back with an update. I went over to my friends house an hung out with them while they were drinking. An it was challenging but I stay strong an didn't drink, it was alil uncomfortable at first expecally because there was some peer pressure. Now I'm home because they went to the bar an I know I'm not ready for that. Tomorrow ill wait up ready to take on day 21 of my sobriety. Thanks for all the advice

darkfaith

Well done on staying strong!! Treasure that feeling when you wake up tomorrow without a hangover or fuzziness.

Cochen

You did great, and well done for knowing yourself well enough not to take on the bar :-D

Ipanema

Dear MyTime86,

I was so happy to see you made it through the party without drinking...that's a very difficult thing to do. I found, after sometime sober, that I was happier being with my kind of people. It was a nice thing I did for myself and, in looking back, I don't feel I missed a darn thing. You may find that some friends you will keep. Those could be the ones that also go to movies with, bowling, play golf, etc. Those that strickly want to drink you may have to explain that "you have an allergy to alcohol" and "have been advised to not drink it". In many cases, this is very true. This SR site is such great support for recovery and I am here every day (almost). This is where you will find tools to use as a Recovering person and much caring and concern. We have been where you are and understand. Going it alone is so much harder. For me, I can get all tied up in knots and SR is a click away. I see what I need to read so quickly from people who I know and I can trust. I also belong to AA and the accountability keeps me coming back. Whatever keeps you Sober and works for you...to stay away from the chains of Alcoholism. Best of Luck, Ipanema