EXPOSED by my son
 

Hello all,
I have been denying my alcoholism for most of my life. I partied when I was a kid. I blamed it on being a kid. I drank alone when my kids were young. I blamed it on my unhappy marriage. My husband died. I blamed my drinking on that. I got into another relationship a few years later and drank more and blamed it on the fact that I missed out on drinking when I was in my 20s because my kids were small. (As you see, I was lying to myself THEN, too). I ended up wrapping my car around a tree one night. THANK GOD I didn't hurt myself or anyone else, but I blamed it on a deer and claimed to have fled the scene because it was an unsafe neighborhood. I got off with no punishment as you may have guessed. I said I thought I was an alcoholic to a few people, and they told me, "Nah, alcoholics drink every day and in the morning, too." That was easy enough to swallow until I saw my son's face one day when I was drunk. He was 23, and he yelled at me and walked out, angry and disgusted. "MOM! YOU'RE AN ALCOHOLIC. I CAN'T SEE YOU LIKE THIS ANYMORE." he yelled. I felt upset, embarrassed, and FINALLY exposed. It was then it hit me. They had been suffering along with me, and I chose not to see it because that was a threat to my alcoholism. It took the words of a son that had seen enough to show me what was going on. I haven't had a drink since and I have my life back thanks to my son and my God. Thank you for letting me vent. Has anyone else had a similar experience? Just wondering.

Hi Marie, I became sober by realising what it was doing to me, but my situation is a bit different from yours.
I think it's amazing that you've had the chance to see yourself as others see you. Can I ask how long you've been sober now?

I know the level of denial that I experienced in my drinking days is unbelievable to me. When I look back, I don't know how I managed to convince myself that things were okay.

I'm so glad that you found us. :)

I have been sober for a little over a year. One year, three months, and I've never felt better :)

I also had my son open my eyes to the effect my drinking was having on him. It was during a brief, mundane conversation that I saw him look at me, realize I'd had a drink, and then in a split second, I saw the disappointment and sadness in his eyes, watched as he quickly composed himself and went on reading his book.

Things are much better now.

I'm very happy for you. You're doing amazing now.

Hi Marie and welcome to SR x

What an amazing woman you are, yes you lied to yourself over the years to hide your drinking, but once you realised how your children were suffering, you stopped.

Congratulations, keep up the good work, any support , giving or taking, there's plenty here. You're amongst friends. xx

:c011:

oh yes, i have. the words are please dont mess up again.i have messed my life up from india, to america and now back to africa, from age 23 to age 39. nothing but loosing jobs, almost lost my daughter to the american system, almost got deported and yet i went on and on saying i just love to drink. sober now. it only gets better.

Welcome Marie,

I know the feeling as I was exposed by my fiance. When he first told me he knew I was drunk the night before I felt humilated. This whole time he knew? Didn't stop me though.. Took me a long time but it helped you stop and that is amazing.

I bet your son is very proud of you. :)

Although it just have been embarrassing for yourself to go through that with your son, I think it was a good wake up call for you to see how it has not only affected you, but the people around you, especially when they're your kids. Congrats on your sobriety.

Yes, I was in a similar position with my daughter and that's when I stopped xxx

I have to say as I look back... Nothing good has ever come to me from alcohol. Ever. It was never my friend, and those who choose it as a friend will find that it is the kind of friend that alienates all the worthwhile ones.

thats when i stopped as well.
When the ambulance guy took my daughter and son out of the house first over my body on the stairs and then took me out on the stretcher.

my daughter is ten years older and still remembers that evening.

It's like a snapshot in time for you. One of the worst/best ones of our lives.

:welcome

I was chastised by my teenage daughter after coming home from detox when she caught me drinking. :( She was really mad at me and threatened to go live with her dad. I stopped drinking again, for a while, but started up again. I eventually quit for good but it took me a while to earn her trust back.

A few weeks ago, my son walked into my house and gave me the biggest hug I've ever gotten since he was a little kid, and he didn't let go for quite a while. He told me, "I missed you." I knew what was really behind those words and that hug. He knew I had been struggling. He knew he was unhappy because of it, and now he had me "back". Then on the phone the other day, he said, "I think you are amazing. You've always made us feel loved. You have always provided for us even when it was hard. It was the lack of stability that was killing me." Of course it made me feel like crying, and I did, but I FELT "back" and what a feeling THAT was :)

Yes. I got a wake up call of sorts which started me on my sobriety. There were a number of other mitigating factors. My kids knew/know too. I realized that one day I was going to wake up with no do-over because they'd be grown. I'm trying to reclaim what I could Yes, I tried to keep most of it hidden, but we all now how that goes.