What a difference...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
What a difference...
We just got home after a family dinner to celebrate my daughter's 18th birthday. Me, my husband, son and daughter together in a restaurant laughing at memories of times gone by and discussing plans for their futures. Both our kids asked us for advice about their current relationships, talked about leaving home in the next few years and where they might live.
My heart swelled with pride at just what lovely young adults they both are. Kind, caring and compassionate towards each other and others.
We were just like your average family I guess, no-one looking on would have guessed that both my husband and I are alcoholics. That 2 years ago, we would have had a disagreement beforehand about who was driving and then one of us would have got drunk. The evening would have been about alcohol for both of us, the birthday would have been second on the list of priorities. We were both so horribly self-absorbed.
It seems the kids have just accepted without question the changes in both of us. It's like the drinking years never happened. The years that we were stumbling incoherent drunks who put our own needs first every day...
It can all change. It can all be repaired. My kids avoided me when I was drunk. They tiptoed past me and hid themselves away. I neglected them emotionally for a long time. I couldn't look after myself, let alone anyone else.
But tonight has proved to me that for us alcoholics and addicts, it can all be put right. We can change it and re-write the script. We can shape our futures and those of our children who so desperately need us to lead the way for them.
It's not easy in the beginning...I posted all the time, sometimes I was on SR for days at a time...but just looking at my little family tonight, laughing and chatting without a care in the world...well I just realised just how worth it that struggle is.
Me and my husband have been sober 20 months after drinking for the whole of our 23 year marriage. If we can do it, honestly, anyone can.
My heart swelled with pride at just what lovely young adults they both are. Kind, caring and compassionate towards each other and others.
We were just like your average family I guess, no-one looking on would have guessed that both my husband and I are alcoholics. That 2 years ago, we would have had a disagreement beforehand about who was driving and then one of us would have got drunk. The evening would have been about alcohol for both of us, the birthday would have been second on the list of priorities. We were both so horribly self-absorbed.
It seems the kids have just accepted without question the changes in both of us. It's like the drinking years never happened. The years that we were stumbling incoherent drunks who put our own needs first every day...
It can all change. It can all be repaired. My kids avoided me when I was drunk. They tiptoed past me and hid themselves away. I neglected them emotionally for a long time. I couldn't look after myself, let alone anyone else.
But tonight has proved to me that for us alcoholics and addicts, it can all be put right. We can change it and re-write the script. We can shape our futures and those of our children who so desperately need us to lead the way for them.
It's not easy in the beginning...I posted all the time, sometimes I was on SR for days at a time...but just looking at my little family tonight, laughing and chatting without a care in the world...well I just realised just how worth it that struggle is.
Me and my husband have been sober 20 months after drinking for the whole of our 23 year marriage. If we can do it, honestly, anyone can.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
Thank you so much for your post Jeni. Today was the day that I thought I would never be able to go past day 1. I was losing hope and faith and thinking I would never be able to have a moment of peace again.
And then I read your post. And what difference has it made! It filled me with encouragement and even though today is a bad day full of fear and anxiety, I can feel a tiny bit of hope now. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
And then I read your post. And what difference has it made! It filled me with encouragement and even though today is a bad day full of fear and anxiety, I can feel a tiny bit of hope now. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,534
Lovely, Jeni! So nice to hear that your family is whole. I thought I ruined my kids with my drinking. Now, just a few months sober, I think maybe I didn't and I am so relieved. Thanks for your post!
It gives me hope and happiness. Congrats on twenty months sober! 
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
woooooohooooooooo jenigrrrl!
wonderful post, just awesome!
you have worked so very hard to get where you are. you soooo deserve this. so does your husband, and ABSOLUTELY so do your children.
you rock!
wonderful post, just awesome!
you have worked so very hard to get where you are. you soooo deserve this. so does your husband, and ABSOLUTELY so do your children.
you rock!
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