rudy68

I am on day 4! Made it through the snowstorm just fine although it was soooo tempting to pick up a bottle of wine as I was getting bread and milk. Shoveling made me feel like I deserved a treat but I didn't do it!

Okay, here's the thing though. I'm going away on a girls weekend that's been scheduled and paid for for a while now. It's just one night but I have no idea how I'll get through it without drinking. It was kind of the point of the weekend. There is really no getting out of it as I've paid and the reservations are in my name. I'm pretty sure I'll be back to day one come Monday...At least I know I can do it all over again and maybe with a whole 5 days of sobriety behind me I'll be less likely to go crazy.

Aellyce

Hi Rudy,

Great job on 4 days! My suggestion: try to stay sober during the weekend if you can, but don't obsess with it such that it makes you suffer through the event. You will see how it goes. Then afterward perhaps do not schedule similar events for a while and focus on your recovery, if that's your goal. Good luck and be safe

doggonecarl

If you know you are going to drink, and you are serious about your sobriety, you won't go. Simple as that.

How about offering your place to someone else. Call your friends, tell them you can't go and ask if they know someone who would like to go. Then call the place and ask if that person can use your reservation.

Or chalk up the lost money as the cost of "really" wanting to get sober.

rudy68

You are right doggonecarl but I can't really back out, there are friends of friends going that literally I am the only person they know. I do "really" want to get sober and I am serious. This is a kink in the chain and I do not intend to schedule anymore events like this believe me! Thanks for the reality check though!

doggonecarl

I am going to quote one of our moderators, Dee74, who provided this response to someone who said the same thing you are saying about not being able to back out:

"I really wish more people would realise it is an option.
It really is OK to say no."

Just think on this. Are you defending your going on this weekend trip for whatever grounds you feel necessary, or are you defending your option to relapse and start day one on Monday?

You are going to do what you are going to do. I hope you have the strength to say no to drinking. It can be done. Restarting at Day 1 isn't always guaranteed.

Coldfusion

Rudy, alcoholism is progressive. When our addictive personality is faced with the prospect of not drinking and then has an opportunity to drink--we addicts tend to go overboard in a big way. I'm saying I think it is very likely you would "go crazy," and do things you will regret if you drink this weekend.

rudy68

I hear you and I am NOT going to go crazy. I can do this

Mags1

Hi rudy hope your weekend is good.

I sometimes imagine me starting over again, letting my hair down, getting fully blown drunk. My problem is I wouldn't go back to day 1 for a very long time, if not forever.

You are fortunate enough to be able to control your drinking to an extent you won't get the taste of it again and will start on day 1 on Monday x

ReadyAtLast

I'm with Doggonecarl on this one

We don't HAVE to do anything. If you know you are going to drink then going is not a good idea. Saying you'll just start again next week- there will always be another event that we feel we have to attend or have to drink at- Christmas, NY, Thanksgiving, birthday, christening, BBQ, holiday,works do, girls weekend away. There is always something. Tomorrow never comes really.

You are not responsible for your friends or their happiness. you are only responsible for you. Maybe consider what is more important-your sobriety or what your friends think of you.

alexc1991

Since you feel you can't really back out of it, the only thing you can do is to try hard not to drink. Have a soda or something, something treat like as opposed to liquor. Hopefully it helps.

Birdygirl

Wow I feel your anguish over this rudy68 !!!

If you are like me, you have never been to the beach and not gotten drunk in your adult life. I often wonder what that would/will be like...

I wish you the best with whatever decision you make. I know for me, if I were to go to the beach on a girls trip and drink, I would be bad and make decisions that I was enjoying at the time and would regret for the rest of my life.

I am just beginning this journey of recovery myself, so I don't know what support to offer... but I will say that if you go, attempt to order more soda or water than alcohol, and try and stay as sober as possible so that you take in all that is going on around you... this way maybe you can see how evil alcohol really is.

Good luck my friend.

newhope01

If we are anything alike (well we're both drunks!), I would be going with the intention of a relapse. I would already have a small argument in my head about how I wasn't going to drink. But, in reality I would be rationalizing how I could enjoy alcohol and start minimizing all the negative consequences. From the sound of your post, you are already planning to drink over the weekend and will 'make-up' for it by returning to your resolve to sobriety on Monday.

Do you're friends know you are an alcoholic? Might be more difficult to pick up in front of them if they know how you feel about booze.

Lind

You can do this Rudy!! Two days before we were to go on a trip for our Anniversary my husband confronted me about my drinking!! At first I really was confused and worried about going thinking how am I going to handle this without drinking. To make a long story short I'm so glad we went! I'm not going to say it was easy but it does get better!! I actually had a great time!! I wish you the best!! Lind

apophylite

I am maid of honour at a friends wedding this year, I have backed out of organising the hen do and actually attending the weekend away because my sobriety is more important to me than her wedding. She's upset but she's not as upset as I would be starting at day one again. I'm not prepared to put myself in that position for anyone.
Don't be afraid to say no. The money you will lose has less value than your sobriety!

SoulKat

Rudy, do what you think is best for yourself. Only you can decide that. I'm sure you will be fine.

KateL

I wish you luck. Stay strong xxx

Kris47

Rudy,

I can only say if you go, don't pick up that first drink. If it means anything to you. Easier said than done. But we're all stronger than we think. We don't need to try to prove it too often though. Why not enjoy the food, the camaraderie, the desserts and hangover free morning next day.

Dee74

I thought that once...one night and then right back to sobriety...
I didn't stop drinking again until 2 years later.

We underestimate this thing at our peril rudy.

Recovery means tough decisions, it means accepting that we're not like other people and it means resigning ourselves to the fact our life needs to change.

If you think I'm being a hardass thats fine....but you can't be in recovery and drink - the two just don't meld.

D

GotGrace

Rudy, could you tell your friends that you had to go on antibiotics and you can't drink? Maybe a sinus infection? That would also give you an excuse to turn in early if things are getting too tempting or out of control.

I can imagine how conflicted I would be if I were in your shoes. But imagine yourself when you get home from your weekend. Do you want to be proud or remorseful? Do you want to be on Day 7 or Day 0?

Good luck. I hope you come home feeling ok about how things go and that you are able to continue your journey then too!

LadyinBC

One of the best things about admitting I'm a alcoholic is that I no longer have to do things that I don't want to. I can say no and I don't have to do things because someone says or because everyone else is.

Learning to say no is a hard thing to do, but I tell you, it can be liberating!

Nothing or no one is more important than my sobriety. Once I stop thinking that, I know I am in trouble.