dasautobatgirl

getting tired of climbing back

GotGrace

But you are here and you want it. That's something, isn't it?

SunriseSky

Ditto. Something inside you is reminding you that, although you are tired of climbing back, you are going to do it!

Imabuleva

Alcoholism is harsh when you're actively drinking or hungover from a binge.

You don't want to drink but you have to drink. I get it.

copperfield

totally agree with you

Threshold

Getting and staying sober is ultimately easier and more rewarding than the cycle of a little time sober, relapse, etc etc. Shame, disappointment, binge, hangover, withdrawal, angst, repeat. It's exhausting...why keep putting ourselves through it.

Push past the angsty few early months and start living the rewards and freedom sobriety brings. It sucks for awhile, but then it gets better. The relapse go round NEVER gets better.

doggonecarl

It wasn't the climbing back that exhausted me...

...It was the constant falling back into drinking.

Once achived, sobriety was much easier to maintain than my drinking was, by a long shot.

dasautobatgirl

okay ... here comes the princess. i cannot go back to detox/rehab ...

least

If you can't go back to detox can you at least see your doctor for help in detoxing safely?

dogged14

Relapses are part of the process. Take a look back and try to learn something from the relapse that will help you stay on the wagon this time.

You haven't failed until you stop trying.

ScottFromWI

Instead of focusing on what you cannot or will not do, how about making a list of the things you CAN do. Getting sober doesn't just happen obviously, you have to take action to make it work.

1newcreation

Life begins at the end of my comfort zone

dasautobatgirl

yes, least, I can. why are you "least"?

dasautobatgirl

truth is, this time I'm so freakin' worried about my sister that I think that's why I'm punishing myself. If that makes sense. I tried to help and failed. So might as well keep failing. It's horrible,pathetic, and self-loathing, I know.