I'm coming out
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Burbs of Houston
Posts: 1
I'm coming out
I measure the amount of time I've spent getting bombed every night in terms of how old my children are. My youngest daughter is 16, so that means that I've been an alcoholic for roughly 14 years now. It started out as a coping mechanism for my stressful job, my unhappy marriage, and my problematic son. Now, it's just what I do. Every night, no matter how late I get started, I end up downing at least 1 bottle of wine (or however much it takes to knock me out). If you met me, you'd never know (cliché, I know, I know). I get up every day and I work a full time job and take care of my house and kids and dogs and life without any issues. I am planning on seeing my Dr. in the next few days because I went to donate blood and I was deferred (I am an avid donor and just gave platelets 2 weeks ago) because the pre-test told me that my iron was extraordinarily low and Google tells me that long-term alcoholics have this issue (and it also told me that the virus I just recovered from is the most likely culprit, but my guilt about the drinking is the winner of that argument). Have I finally done my liver in? How bad is this? Can I recover? That's what I'm going in to find out. This time when he asks me (since my liver enzymes are ALWAYS elevated and I had an ultrasound 2 years ago that showed "fatty liver") if I drink, I will be honest and say "yes, I do, and I want to quit" instead of "sometimes". This is the first time I have ever referred to myself as an alcoholic. I don't know if I will hit send or delete.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Rural Colorado
Posts: 376
Hi Saoirse, I could have written your post. I am the same way. I have a troubled marriage and a special needs daughter. I work full time out of the house and we have a farm for rescued horses. I go about my day, get everything done, and then I was drinking just as much as you. I am 48. No one would ever have guessed. I never did tell my doctor. I am trying to get and stay sober after many, many, many failed attempts.
All I want to say to you is that you are not alone. I am right here with you. I wish you the best and hope you keep coming back.
And, one thing I've come to terms with lately since being on SR is that I am an alcoholic and there is no shame in it. At least for me. It is what it is.
Best to you.
All I want to say to you is that you are not alone. I am right here with you. I wish you the best and hope you keep coming back.
And, one thing I've come to terms with lately since being on SR is that I am an alcoholic and there is no shame in it. At least for me. It is what it is.
Best to you.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,429
Hi SaoirseJ,
we all have those kinds of questions when we quit. The only sure way to know is to see your Dr, so I'm pleased you're doing that...most of us find things are not as bad as we feared
welcome to SR too - you'll find a ton of support here
D
we all have those kinds of questions when we quit. The only sure way to know is to see your Dr, so I'm pleased you're doing that...most of us find things are not as bad as we feared
welcome to SR too - you'll find a ton of support here
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
Welcome!
It's not an easy step to admit to yourself that you're an alcoholic. And, good for you for going to your dr to ask the questions you need answered. We do understand how hard this is.
It's not an easy step to admit to yourself that you're an alcoholic. And, good for you for going to your dr to ask the questions you need answered. We do understand how hard this is.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,776
Welcome to SR! It is possible to quit drinking. Many of us here have done it and gone on to live productive happy lives. You will find a lot of support here. Take advantage of it and we'll help you in your sober journey. 
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 41
Your life & drinking habit sounds much like mine. I am struggling right now & want so much to end this bizarre & frustrating attraction to drinking alcohol. I mean we are poisoning ourselves basically - why is it so hard to stop?? Please let us know what your Dr. says & how you are doing.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: alberta
Posts: 24
Welcome! I am a newcomer here as well. A week ago today I joined and publicly said I was an alcoholic. There are all sorts of people here.....people sober for one day and people sober for 50 years. It's a great site!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Welcome to a great place where we all understand. I was drinking 24/7 when I came here for help. It felt good to not be alone anymore. You can do it SaoirseJ - and you'll be so happy to be free.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Missouri
Posts: 133
Now we're talking!! This is fantastic news because it means you can finally turn this thing around. It's not easy but recovery is the greatest gift in the world. You're totally worth it. I'm so happy you've found SR because there is so much love and support here. I hope this is the beginning of a whole new world for you, Saoirse.
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
Welcome to SR
You have just conquered the hardest part in your journey to reach sobriety, admitting that you have a problem. Congratulations on the most important decision you have ever made... the battle won't be an easy one but it is one that you can WIN!
The fine folks here at SR will support and encourage you as you fight this battle, so don't hesitate to log in whenever you need some help. There are people from all over the planet here, with lifetimes of experience that you can draw from.
Take Care.
The fine folks here at SR will support and encourage you as you fight this battle, so don't hesitate to log in whenever you need some help. There are people from all over the planet here, with lifetimes of experience that you can draw from.
Take Care.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 39
Welcome SaoirseJ! Congratulations!! I know your story all too well, no one knew that I was sittng at home every night getting bombed all on my own, bottle + of wine, or half a 30 pack of beer by myself.. for years, it just kept getting worse. I knew i drank too much, and that once i got started i couldn't stop, just to hate myself the next morning, only to make pledges NOT to drink that night, and end up dying for that first drink by 4pm. I have a house, a job, a horse, husband and 3 dogs... I was dying inside tho, i wanted to stop, and i just couldn't. I am so proud of your admission to being an alcoholic... its a hard step to take, but it should offer some relief, knowing you are among friends who suffer the same malady. My suggestion would be to thank God for giving you the courage to admit you are powerless, and then keep praying... ask Him (or you Higher Power) to take the obsession away. I promise if you lean on Him, he will carry you. Hugs and keep coming back!!
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Saorise, I put my hand up to a bottle of wine a night too, every night, while holding down a full time job. It's just too easy to get into the habit.
My first step was seeing the doctor and it wasn't easy to tell him how much I drank. I wanted to tell the truth but could hardly form the words. However although I didn't quit right away, it was my starting point, and I stopped drinking about six weeks later.
I'm so much happier now without all that worry, and some of my friends are astonished and impressed. It's been 22 months.
My first step was seeing the doctor and it wasn't easy to tell him how much I drank. I wanted to tell the truth but could hardly form the words. However although I didn't quit right away, it was my starting point, and I stopped drinking about six weeks later.
I'm so much happier now without all that worry, and some of my friends are astonished and impressed. It's been 22 months.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 69
Hello all... so good to find place where I see my story over and over again and know that I am not alone on this journey toward a new way of living. I look forward to receiving support from you all. It's nice to see a forum online where we can be real, share experiences and not fear judgement and negativity.
With Love,
Birdygirl
With Love,
Birdygirl
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 643
Welcome, SaoirseJ - I'm so glad you hit "send" instead of "delete". Amazing how we can get through life as a "functional" alcoholic. I did too, bottle of wine a night or whatever it took and binge drinking on social occasions. I run my own business, everyone thinks I am so "together" - that is the mask we wear for the public. It is such a relief to let that all go - stay strong x
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