curlykerry

This is a big step for me. I have been struggling with my drinking for many years, but the past two years I have escalated and found myself drinking alone. A six-pack of beer a night. A bottle of wine by myself. Every night.
I want to be a better person. For myself...for my kids.
But I am scared of sober living. Except for my pregnancies, I have been drinking nearly every day for the last 20 years.
What will I do with myself without a drink in hand?!? How do I cope in social situations that will involve booze? Do the benefits really outweigh the comfort of the drink?
I am currently in counseling and my therapist recommended SMART recovery. The concept that WE are in control of our actions, not an invisible god in the sky. I like that idea.
There is a local meeting tomorrow night. I'm thinking about checking it out, but I sure am nervous! Does anyone have words of encouragement/advice?
Thanks in advance. I stumbled upon this site and hope that it is serendipity.

ScottFromWI

Welcome CurlyKerry. Your fears are very common, and I think your Therapist was good in recommending a recovery program that holds regular meetings. Know that everyone there will be there for the same reason as you, just like we all are here on SR. Listen to how others have overcome their drinking and you'll see that anyone can do it if they really want to.

Regarding your fear of sober living, if you do some reading around here you'll see that for an alcoholic, sober living is better than drinking in every possible way. Your health, your relationships, your attitude and your productivity will all most likely improve. Alcohol holds you back.

Again, welcome. Read lots and good luck at the meeting tonight - i think you'll enjoy it.

Mizzuno

Welcome. Of course you are scared! Normal part of the process. You can look at this meeting as a way to get informed about a problem that exists in your life. There is no harm in getting tools that can benefit your life.

This is a learning experience. This forum has been instrumental in my recovery process. I encourage you to read, post, and make friends here. You can do this and will be better off for it. We learn, grow, and find that life is lived fully without drinking. Be gentle with yourself. Take it one day at a time.

doggonecarl

If you listen to your fears, you will die never
knowing what a great person you might have been.
--Rober H. Schuller

Mags1

Hiya curlykerry, welcome to SR, lots of help and encouragement here, keep posting and reading, it's helped me enormously.

I didn't know what I would of without drink to help me, but sobriety sets you free, you aren't 'owned' and 'dictated' to by booze. It's fantastic, why don't you give it a go.

What have you got to lose, nothing, but plenty to gain. xx

heath480

Welcome to SR curlykerry.Your fears are normal.

Living life sober is wonderful,I wouldn't swap it for a lousy drink.

I hope you go to the meeting and get something out of it.

KateL

I think this site has been a lot of people's serendipity. Welcome and I wish you everything you wish for yourself xxxxx

curlykerry

Thank you all.
Been a lot of setbacks and changes in my life and the drink has been my only pal. I will try engaging in these forums and reading y'all's words of wisdom.
I want to say that I am not going to drink today, but there are 5 beers in my fridge...
My hangover says "don't touch it"
But I know that tonight, my hangover will be gone.
And I have nothing to do tonight.
Ugh.

Aiko

Dear Curlykerry

I can positively assure you it is possible living without it!!!
You get used to it I promise!!!
It gets better by day!!!
I was worried what was I going to do sober...
and I am looking for constructive things to fill up my life..
get hobbies/sports...

What you have certain is that if you continue it will get surely worse and worse!!!
and will have many consequences on you and your children will suffer then too.

If you can get in meetings that is great help!
you can come along here any time you need support!
And you have the chat room here too!

LIFE IS MUCH BETTER ON THE OTHER SIDE!!!
DO NOT HESITATE!!!

Taking5

Go to that SMART meeting. Everyone there is there for the same reason you are.

Also our that beer down the drain so you can't drink it.

curlykerry

First thought: I never even considered pouring it out!
Second thought: What a waste of money!

I'll think about it...

jlschultz

I am exactly where you are in the recovery process. I find (haha Im on day 2!) is forcing myself to be around other adults who are not drinking. It's not a cure all but it helps. I'm teetering like you are.

Mags1

Hi curlykerry, it will be a temptation for you later when your hangover is gone and you haven't anything to do.x

doggonecarl

Don't think...take action! These are the points in recovery where the rubber meets the road, so to speak. There are a lot of changes one has to make to get sober. Big changes. Where we go, what we do, how we handle things.

Getting rid of alcohol is one of the first and simplest steps we can take. If you can't do that, what is your committment to getting sober? Really?

curlykerry

I did it.
Poured them all down the kitchen sink.
The empty bottles are in the recycling bin.
Gulp.

alphaomega

Good for you for doing that !

I know how difficult it can be. I was 3 months sober when I went to a rent house that had 4 bottles of really good chardonnay left from the previous guests. It was far too tempting for me to have that in the vicinity. Down the chute they went ! And I felt so liberated and free when I did it.

GotGrace

Curlykerry, I was in your shoes 6 months ago. You can do it. Just commit to today. Today, I will not drink. And tomorrow, make the same commitment to yourself. Forever, or even a week, can be overwhelming from where you stand right now. But commit to each day as it comes and the days will add up.

I am a bit over 5 months sober. My life from the outside probably doesn't look very different, but from the inside, it is so, so much better. Fear of the thing is worse than the thing itself. I promise.

Go for it.

Iffyspidee

Welcome Curlykerry.

I can relate to how hard it is to pour the alcohol down the drain - darn near broke my heart haha. But seriously, its a great step- good for you!

Like taking 5 said, everyone at the SMART meeting is there for the same reason. Go check it out!

curlykerry

I made plans with a sober friend tonight. That will help distract me for a bit.

Renarde

Welcome! I had those same fears. The more space you get from alcohol, the more it becomes clear that it actually feels really, really good to live without it.