How do I stop
 

Hi

I havnt posted much in this forum, but read alot when I eventually get to the stage where I want to stop, having been trying unsuccessfully to quit for a while now, have never got past more than 4 or 5 days.

today I am fighting another hangover, had a really bad one on Fri wher I was violently sick all day, even this wasnt enough to stop me drinking again all weekend.

I no I have to stop, i want to stop, but How? it seems so simple..jus never pour a drink down your throat again, i mean how hard is that....no one can force you to do it..tho the reality is it seems its actually very hard indeed.

Where do I start??

Elisha x

It's good to see you posting :) It sounds to me like you're ready to be done, but are having trouble taking that step. My advice would be to call and commit to a rehab or treatment center to help you with the first 30 or so days. It can make a huge difference, having that support and accountability at the very beginning :)

I have tried to quit many times and I remember day 5 being the hardest because despite how violently ill I had been, by day 5 all was forgotten. My trick was to " play the tape through" or recall the continuous vomiting and diarrhoea and remember how guilty and worthless I felt after a binge. Every time I drank I would become very very sick. Eventually you have to say enough, it's over as the alternative could literally be death

Welcome!

I think it's a question of accepting that alcohol is no longer an option, ever. When I did this, my mind began to work in more healthy ways to deal with things. I'm glad you posted and that you're looking for support.

try a detox first and go from there

AA, Rational Recovery, AVRT, SMART, SOS, Women for Sobriety, Life Ring

they all have their own websites, check them out!

You can stay stopped, too!

start with a medical doctor for a proper withdrawal and move forward from there.....

Welcome Elisha to what can be a great life in sobriety if you let it. I beat myself with pain for too long to get sober. Then came the day I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and totally surrendered to the fact I could not drink in safety. I needed to get honest with myself about my drinking first and remember how bad it had gotten. I needed to clear the foggy existence by going to many meetings and listening and then acting on what I heard, even not wanting to.
That was my start into recovery.

BE WELL

Have you checked out AVRT (Addictive Voice Recognition Technique)? There is an overview of how it works here: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html

It sounds like you want to stop. That's great! AVRT gives you the tools to stay stopped and empowers us to be accountable for the choices we make. Check it out. It works well for many of us, including myself.

By believing that part of you that wants to stay stopped is strong enough to do it no matter how loudly the addiction is telling you that you aren't.

I have found that I have increased confidence in the part of me that desires sobriety by doing things that make it stronger. For me that includes:
1. Communicating with fellow alcohol addicts
2. Physical exercise (it's such a confidence booster!)
3. Cognitive Behavior Therapy
4. Positive thinking
5. Good nutrition
6. Positive activities, like learning new things
7. Giving back to society

That's my list. It took me months to develop it. Your list will likely vary, as it will be suited to your particular needs.

You CAN do this! :ring

Thanks for the replys

Some good advice here, I think I am at the stage where I am done, I dont have any other choice & Alcohol cant be an option anymore. my memory is awful now & my boyfriend has noticed hes always saying 'do u not remember talking about that already' or Ill forget words midsentence, last night I hid a bottle of wine in the house somewher b4 I went to bed & this morn for the life of me I could not remember wher I put it, i was in a panic thinking my bf or my daughter mite come across it, I looked all my usual spots to no avail.. I eventually found it but cant remember putting it there.. now Im working myself up to pour it down the sink. Im also goin to get rid of all my empties so theres no trace of it around me.

I hav heard of avrt & do think its a good technique. I will look into it again thanks!

I am just so sick & tired of feeling like this, i wana feel healthy again, want a good nights sleep..sick of feeling like im gona drop dead any minute or hav my first seizure.

Enough!

Thank you all

ELisha x

It helps to realize that if I don't pick up that first drink I won't have to try to get sober AGAIN.

BE WELL

Elisha,
I couldn't do it on my own. I thought I could but I was wrong.
Best thing that ever happened to me was a hospital stint (unplanned. What??? I need to go to the hospital?? WHAT???) and outpatient rehab.
That was almost 3 months ago and Everything, I mean everything, is different now.
xo

You haven't accepted the direct connection between your alcohol consumption and the trainwreck it causes. The sun will come up tomorrow, and you will have bad things happen when you drink. Always. Guaranteed. Your life will change so much when you accept this.

There is another pillar that I used to provide a foundation for my sobriety. I deserve it. I deserve a life without the hangovers, sickness, depression, anxiety, guilt and shame that will ALWAYS come with drinking. I deserve a life without alcohol, and dammit, I will have it no matter what else happens.

You can do it too, Elisha. You will do it, I truly believe you will, and you will look back and wonder why you waited so long. Believe in yourself, and that you deserve a life without addiction. Onward!

I can't really tell you how YOU stop...

but having been right where you are, I can tell you how I did.

I started here;

Big Book On Line - Table of Contents - Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

I went to meetings.

I got a sponsor.

I read about RR and AVRT - and I use some of their theory.

I am working the steps.

I am getting support here.

I am making small changes in my life to deal with the underlying reasons I drank (because sobriety is about so much more than just 'not drinking').

I am finding my own combination of these tools that keeps me sober and it took me several tries over the course of many years and a lot of crap I wish I had avoided by starting this process sooner....

but am grateful that now I am at 37 days sobriety and my life is looking good!

:ring

You are right that there is no magical solution. You will need to do the work and make the decision not to drink.

There are numerous ways to frame the solution to make it easier to work. Many people focus on the fact that they only need to not take one drink, the first one. Many people only focus on not drinking today and don't worry about tomorrow or forever. Several specific methods have been listed in previous comments. Many people find that having the support of and being accountable to others very helpful. Look around this site, find what appeals to you, and don't drink.

Hi Elisha. The only advice I can offer is keep reading, posting adn hopefully you will find some answers xxxx

Hi Elisha -
Everyone has given such great advice. I see a lot of myself in you. I literally - LITERALLY - agonized for years about wanting to quit, but not doing it. I did quit a few times - once for 4 months, but I went back to it. And why? I don't think I was really, truly ready to quit. Instead, I wanted desperately to figure out a way to have my cake and eat it too. For a long time, I wanted to drink, and drink like a FISH, without any of the bad stuff happening afterwards.

Monday, I'd be repentant, then by Friday, it was all forgotten. Every single week. Then, I tried to moderate. If you want to torture yourself, just try that a few times...trying to limit intake, limit to a certain time of day - limit, limit, limit. I couldn't do it with any consistency (nor did I want to), and it made me downright angry besides.

So now, here I am again. This time, I think I really get it that I cannot drink period. It's off the table, period. And suddenly, I'm not angry anymore, but relieved. Relieved to stop the mental torture of being in limbo. Relieved not to be profoundly hungover. It's a relief.

The hardest thing for me was drawing the line in the sand - finally. Once I broke the cycle by stopping, after that last hangover/withdrawal things for me have improved every single day. I only wish I could've gotten to this point sooner. I can't tell you exactly what made it click finally for me, other than living through the toll that drinking takes on me repeatedly. I finally got so sick of the whole thing. Just sick to death of it.

We are here to support you. I wish you all the best - and you might want to see a doc in case you are at risk for severe withdrawal. They have meds they can give so you don't have to be in such agony physically and mentally.

It takes a lot of effort and making changes to your lifestyle but sobriety is so worth it. :)

Made it through the day without a drink!
I must admit, I ate like a sumo wrestler today. Is that normal?!? Like I just couldn't get full. Oh well.
Going to bed. And looking forward to waking up clear-headed!
Thank you all.

Hi all

Day 2, woke up this morning I feel good, clearish head, slept well, no headache, no dry mouth, no guilt! One thing I am grateful for is that I dont have any severe withdrawals...yet! However I think day 2 is gona be harder than day 1...

Listen to what my AV is telling me this morning...So my bf has some beer stashed in the house since xmas, now he doesnt drink much so this was a pretty full box of beer b4 I got my hands on it...now its almost empty..my Av is telling me to go to the shops & replace it today b4 he notices I drank them all...the thing is u cant buy that beer separetly they only come in boxes of 20..so if i buy the beer I will have 10 or so left over...it is telling me if i buy the beer i can replace it & get rid of the rest or stash the rest..

but i already no if i buy it ill drink it & besides if im never gona drink again why would i need to stash it...right??

It sounds riduculous but this is whats going thru my head this morning.

I think my problem is (like some of you have mentioned already) is that part of me is not ready, I havnt lost anything yet, but I dont wana wait until ive lost something b4 I realise its time to stop. I want to have my cake & eat it as Sillystring mentioned.

Hope I make it through day 2

Elisha xxx