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Old 02-02-2014, 11:47 AM
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Need advice

I am living in a sober environment. My sponsor and Landlord suggest that I do not go to a treatment facility. Partly because they need my money I pay for rent. I really need additional help and am doing nothing to better myself here, and feel like I'm sinking lower and lower into depression. I told them I would call them everyday but they still don't want me to go. I need this change in my life and I need to separate myself and become my own man. It's time for a change.

All I'm doing is pretty much stalking people online and p*ssing a lot of people off just bothering them with there busy lives and my idle time. So what should I do? Should I go back to a treatment center? The one I was looking at is Salvation Army Adult Rehabiliation Center. They give you 3 meals a day, you work and actually get to go to Church and meetings all day. I'll be around other addicts and alcoholics. And actually some girls too.

I would get to keep my money that I pay for rent and actually help them more by offering them God instead of money. I'm going to give my Landlord my food stamp assistance card so I can receive benefits while in the Salvation Army.
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Old 02-02-2014, 11:53 AM
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Your sponsor needs your rent money? Please explain.
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Old 02-02-2014, 11:53 AM
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What do you need advice on? You say you need more help. So then You must go get it. I don't know about food stamps, but it's seems a bit scary to give them to your landlord while you are away. Just sounds like fraud to me and if you get caught, you may not be able to get them again. Isn't there another way to handle that.
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Old 02-02-2014, 11:58 AM
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My advice would be to absolutely get help and sooner rather than later. It sounds like you are also being taken advantage of and even if you weren't going to treatment id suggest finding somewhere else to live. Go now is my advice.
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Old 02-02-2014, 12:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Taking5 View Post
Your sponsor needs your rent money? Please explain.
I pay them rent every month to stay at my house/home. He has 53 years sober.
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Old 02-02-2014, 12:02 PM
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I'm confused. Your sponsor IS your landlord or your sponsor AND your landlord? Why would they not want you to go to treatment? Sounds a bit unclear to me. And don't give anyone your food stamp card.
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Old 02-02-2014, 12:03 PM
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Confused here. You pay THEM rent to stay in YOUR house?
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Old 02-02-2014, 12:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Raider View Post
What do you need advice on? You say you need more help. So then You must go get it. I don't know about food stamps, but it's seems a bit scary to give them to your landlord while you are away. Just sounds like fraud to me and if you get caught, you may not be able to get them again. Isn't there another way to handle that.
I need help on I guess, dealing with my Landlord and Sponsor's opinion on me staying on how to handle moving on from this place. You're right, I actually meant to say I gave him the food stamp form, but instead I mistyped and said card...
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Old 02-02-2014, 12:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Raider View Post
Confused here. You pay THEM rent to stay in YOUR house?
HAha no, I pay them rent to stay in their house pretty much.
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Old 02-02-2014, 12:12 PM
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Originally Posted by least View Post
I'm confused. Your sponsor IS your landlord or your sponsor AND your landlord? Why would they not want you to go to treatment? Sounds a bit unclear to me. And don't give anyone your food stamp card.
My sponsor and my landlord. I don't know why, I think it's because they want the money I pay for rent. Okay.
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Old 02-02-2014, 12:14 PM
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Run, run fast and don't look back.
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Old 02-02-2014, 12:16 PM
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In order for me to really work on my recovery, I had to put MY needs first. I still had to take car of responsibilities, but my recovery was first. Without it, I wouldn't be able to do anything else.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 02-02-2014, 12:21 PM
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Thank you everyone for your help.
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Old 02-02-2014, 12:26 PM
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You can only save yourself and you are the only one worth saving at the moment. If you need the treatment, go. Your sponsor and landlord sound like big kids, they can take care of themselves.
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Old 02-02-2014, 12:57 PM
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Get yourself some help, you owe it to yourself, not them. Best of luck xxxxx
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Old 02-02-2014, 12:59 PM
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Originally Posted by skatebowls View Post
I am living in a sober environment. My sponsor and Landlord suggest that I do not go to a treatment facility. Partly because they need my money I pay for rent.
THere are plenty of other people needing to live in a sober environment. THey can find another tenant. It's not your problem.


I really need additional help and am doing nothing to better myself here, and feel like I'm sinking lower and lower into depression. I told them I would call them everyday but they still don't want me to go. I need this change in my life and I need to separate myself and become my own man. It's time for a change.
I think you're right on the money here. It doesn't sound like a good environment for you to be in any more, even though at one stage in your recovery it might have been. Time to go!

All I'm doing is pretty much stalking people online and p*ssing a lot of people off just bothering them with there busy lives and my idle time. So what should I do? Should I go back to a treatment center? The one I was looking at is Salvation Army Adult Rehabiliation Center. They give you 3 meals a day, you work and actually get to go to Church and meetings all day. I'll be around other addicts and alcoholics. And actually some girls too.
Sounds like a plan. Sitting around all day with nothing to do is a recipe for disaster.

I would get to keep my money that I pay for rent and actually help them more by offering them God instead of money. I'm going to give my Landlord my food stamp assistance card so I can receive benefits while in the Salvation Army.
Do not give your landlord your food stamp assistance. It's fraud and illegal. Your sponsor/landlord's financial situation is not your problem. Make your arrangements to go. Keep it to yourself if you need to. You don't need your sponsor's permission to go to rehab.

What you are describing around your sponor/living situation sounds really dangerous and toxic. I'd get out of there pronto, if I were you.
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Old 02-02-2014, 01:09 PM
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And let me just say, I'm not being used or taken advantage of. They are nice good people. It's just
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Old 02-02-2014, 01:11 PM
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I just feel like a complete loer
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Old 02-02-2014, 01:12 PM
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I can't run away, because somebody did that to me. And it felt awful, I don't want to run away. I want to be there for them..
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Old 02-02-2014, 01:13 PM
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I have really bad mental problems and I'm not working. But he thinks I need to do things for myself instead of running to a mental place or like a rehab. He needs the money but he's looking out for my best interests.
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