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Does any of this actually help?

Old 02-02-2014, 11:12 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Buzzwords and phrases are like chapter titles in a book. The stories behind them explains them more fully; we each write our own.
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Old 02-02-2014, 11:18 AM
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when dealing with people i try always to assume positive intent
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Old 02-02-2014, 11:56 AM
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Welcome and hope you stick around. Everybody is different. What works for some may not work for others. But when it comes to whether other people are honest or fooling themselves really hurts them and not us. Since I have joined the folks have been supportive as well as give suggestions for my many questions. At this time in my life that is what I need. I need SR for many reasons, but It was all me. I have tools and help but when it comes to the end of the day, I am the only person,tool etc. that can make me truly sober forever.
It has made me better cuz I was ready.
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Old 02-02-2014, 01:34 PM
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Well, I don't feel like a stumbling, drunken failure anymore. I have goals and achievements that don't involve opening cans or bottles. Those are all pretty good things, I guess.

I'm normal-sized and muscular instead of bloated, fat, weak and sick. People treat me better, either because I look better or have more confidence, maybe both.. I'm not worried about my health all the time.

I spend a lot of my time on getting better at things I want to be good at, so I'm improving, at "stuff". Better? yeah, s'pose so.

I guess it all depends on what you mean by "better." I'm not dating anyone right now, so maybe I'm doing really poorly -- maybe that's the gauge of having things on the right track? It's pretty uncomplicated, that part is nice. And I don't make more money than I did when I was drinking, but I'm not worried about getting canned, either.

Life is what you make of it, I'm sure some people get sober and have a horrible time. For me it was a big relief. Drinking had taken over, it really squeezed a lot of cool stuff out for a long time.

Oh and I just hit a PR on low-bar squat just this afternoon, so . . I have that going for me.
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Old 02-02-2014, 06:39 PM
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Many people use the words they are given because they do not have their own words to describe their own experience. Here and in life, you have to look beyond the boilerplate and the bromides to connect with what was actually lived. It can be hard in AA because so many people use exactly the same words to talk about their experience.

But with a little patience you can look beyond the words to understand what makes each person different.
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Old 02-02-2014, 07:01 PM
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S.R. Has been a part of my sobriety since 2004.
I had over 5 years I when I joined.
I'm speculating you are doubtful on having a good sober life.
As my friend always says some people are put on earth to be a lesson while others and others are an example.
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Old 02-02-2014, 07:03 PM
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Chopper - my personal experience so far is this. I never seeked help with my addiction (and few other psych problems). Signed up to SR in 2010 but never used it really, before this January...

During this past ~1 month, it's been quite a transformative experience. Of course because I want it too... It varies day by day... but can honestly say I have not had any negative experience with sobriety... and SR... so far. Lots of good ones
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Old 02-02-2014, 07:13 PM
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I'm glad you stopped in ChopperX. I think you should stay around & give us a chance.

7 yrs. ago I was in a fog and out of hope. Drinking all day. I was Googling 'health issues of alcoholics' and an SR post popped up. I never intended to stay - was just curious. I started reading posts & couldn't stop. The people here were just like me. They weren't preaching or judging. They knew what I was going through & where I'd been. So I stayed. I didn't stop drinking right away - but by participating here I was gathering the courage to kick it out of my life. After drinking for over 30 yrs., I'm sitting here 6 yrs. sober. So yes - it actually helps.
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Old 02-02-2014, 08:34 PM
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In my experience, it really did get better, but it took quite awhile for it all to come together (I have a year and half sober, largely thanks to SR). Initially you're dealing with so many different changes it's normal for it to be somewhat rocky. It's hard work-there's no magic wand here. I truly believe if you stick to it, you will come to a new place and it will be reflected in your looks, your health, your job, and your relationships.

Good luck-glad you found SR!
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Old 02-02-2014, 08:52 PM
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This site really helps me. Hearing about the journeys of those who were farther along on the road in terms of their alcoholism (and fearing what was just up ahead for me), commiserating with people who understand this disease, etc. The only few things that grate on me here is when people post threads and other people come in and passively aggressively (or directly) make it known that they don't approve of a certain topic of conversation or find it unhelpful. It strikes me as a bit judgmental and dismissive. We are not a one-size fits all forum. While you (the collective) may think it's futile to discuss how much was spent, what lies you told yourself, etc., there are other people who approach their healing in a different way. Why stop into that thread if you find it unhelpful?

Other than that, I've been able to deal with my entire sobriety journey (just over three weeks) just by attending this forum. On my last quit (I think I lasted one day or less), I went to AA and stopped at a liquor store after. It wasn't particularly bad, it just wasn't for me. I'm an internet/forum junkie, so this is the best help I can get.
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Old 02-02-2014, 08:52 PM
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I think there are many tools one can use in sobriety. Different strokes for different folks. I'm new and for me SR has been a lifesaver! I always felt very alone, humiliated at how much I drank. On day zero, I found this site and I was amazed at how many others were in the same boat. Before I just though it was be a drunk or be an AA person. Through this site and my own research I saw that there are way more options than just that. I have tried AA, rehab, cutting back etc. so far I haven't been successful. I am almost a week sober and have found this to be a wonderful support took in addition to other tools that I am using to not drink. Everybody's journey is unique in how they choose to stay sober but whatever keeps you positive and hopeful and sober is the one for you!
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Old 02-02-2014, 09:00 PM
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And I agree with Letustrythis123. The passive aggressive tone and negativity towards those who use this as a tool was unnecessary. Especially to somebody new who is confused and reaching out. Keep it to yourself. Just saying.
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Old 02-02-2014, 09:38 PM
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Might be wrong, but I don't think letus was referring to the OP in this case.

Personally, I didn't find anything objectionable or passive aggressive in ChopperX's post.

As a newcomer here, I was suspicious of happy sober people too, for a while - it seemed impossible to me, especially as I'd been trying for a long time to quit.

Now I know it is possible. I just had to widen the list of things I was prepared to do.

I hope you'll come back and look around a little more,ChopperX
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Old 02-02-2014, 09:46 PM
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I wasn't referring to Chopper X.
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Old 02-02-2014, 10:09 PM
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If this program doesn't work, I can always go back to my way
And the answer is obviously NO! Things absolutely do get better & it feels good when you hang in through all the difficulties to say you made it. I experienced it for five wks & know I can again; I just have to be patient
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Old 02-02-2014, 10:46 PM
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I prefer sobriety. It IS so much better!!
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Old 02-02-2014, 10:49 PM
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Hi Chopper welcome to SR, this site is a life line to me, not to talk about my addiction always, but other things, topics going on in my life and speaking to like minded , understanding people, who like myself, sobriety is their main goal in life.

It's not an overnight cure, it takes time and patience.
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Old 02-02-2014, 10:49 PM
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I'm confident that anyone here will tell you that I'm a zero bull **** guy.

Yes. It gets better. It really does. I know how silly and simplistic and trite the little catchphrases and stuff are, and you'd have to be nuts to not be cynical after being through half of what I came here with but yes, they are true.
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Old 02-03-2014, 01:32 AM
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I first posted here in 2012. I didn't post again because I was happy with moderating which I managed for over a year. Then in the blink of an eye, I was back to drinking every night and more than I had ever done before. However I found myself lurking here all the time. Maybe I was more open minded and ready to take on what people were saying but I have stayed close to this forum and it must have worked, my last drink was on New Year's Eve. It's not been easy but even if you never post again, the tools are here to help you towards a sober life.
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Old 02-03-2014, 01:52 AM
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welcome back GallopingFree

D
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