Dealing with emotions and not feeling god enough
 

M still trying to get to grips with not fitting in or the feeling that I look boring to others when I'm sober and that at a young age of 29 I feel like my life is very simple and not as exciting as everyone else's. I feel 'raw' being sober and care too much about what others think about me and I am letting things get to me at the moment like the feeling that I'm not good enough. I'm 8 months sober. I want to stay positive but am struggling please help!!

I agree with you so much but know "boring" is only truly boring to crazy drunks like me, who are always looking for the craziest party and the best high. I don't know how I'm going to even handle being around my friends anymore since all we ever do together is drink. 8 mos is a huge accomplishment!!!!! Keep on it.

I got sober at 36 and felt pretty boring too. I'll bet that someone who got sober at 45 also felt that way. I think that we all feel we're "giving up the party" when we quit, and for most of us that's a hard pill to swallow. Especially when we continue to surround ourselves with friends and social groups that drink, stay up late, and post on facebook about going to clubs.

Sorry you're feeling this way - but how does being a drinker make you "good enough"? You should feel pretty happy about your 8 months. As for being boring...well, who says you have to sit home knitting sweaters? You can travel, write, create art, take photographs, learn a new language or whatever the heck you want! Just go DO IT! Good luck and congrats on the time you've got under your belt so far, that's a great accomplishment.

What about picking up a new hobby that people would be interested in hearing about? Or travel. I'm starting to think that who we hang out with really helps shape who we are. If you hang out with people who get drunk the whole time, isn't THAT technically boring?

I regret not getting sober at 29. I'm 41 now, and I while I wouldn't say my life has been "simple" the last 12 years, I would definitely not call it "exciting". Hectic and stressful are more the words I'd use. Looking back, I wish I had a simpler, slower, more low key life in my 30s. That's what I strive for now.

I promise you aren't missing out on anything by not drinking.

You are definitely good enough. The feelings you express....well, aren't those the ones we are avoiding by drinking. You are a magnificent specimen of unlimited potential. Your very creation is amazing beyond measure...is it not? I doubt you even scratch the surface of the absolute wonder you are and what you are capable of. Sitting around some club or pub downing cocktails is a waste of your magnificence and somewhat snubs or somehow ignores your true majesty.
We are amazing...how sad we measure ourselves against shallow models and tedious aspirations.

Yes there are days where it takes herculean emotional effort to get my sorry arse out of my own way.

You are good enough...you are way more than good enough. You haven't got a clue how enormously good enough you truly are : )

I like Hearts' idea of travel. I used to spend $500-$600 a month on drinking at the bars. I could definitely use the money I saved by overcoming alcoholism on some nice travel! Congrats on the sobriety my friend!

This weekend i'm off with my partner for a short break to a luxury hotel . 3 years ago i'd have been drunk by 7 pm on a friday and not sober till monday and most of my weekend spent in bed or on the sofa in one room .
I didn't have a partner ( not one who cared for me anyhow) .
I wouldn't have had the money for the trip (even though my job hasn't changed) .

I'm also planning a trip to Portugal sometime soon .

I might not be "living it large" or being "mad" but to be honest what i'm doing now seems far more pleasant ..

If you want a "mad" high go do a parachute jump and get sponsored doing it , or absail down a cliff .. if the adrenalin rush is what your missing .

Sounds like your doing great to me , :You_Rock_

Bestwishes, m

You can never go back once you have experienced being sober recovery is so beautiful and the other life is full of anxiety drama talking crap sitting around for yours no anything recovery is working on yourself loving yourself spending time with yourself recovery is the best once you have it there's no going back sends you mad I did got to 9 and half months and relapsed and no good came of it nearly died drank more cause I missed out ? And had few more episodes of this not once did recovery do this we think we are boring missing out that is the disease talking take care much love x

Congratulations on 8 months. Like others have said I wish I had stopped when I was younger, but everyone partied. I know plenty of young people that have stopped drinking now and go bowling cinema etc. I hope you can find some fun things to do, there are plenty of them. xxxxxxxxx

Thankyou for everyone's support it's been great! I do have a question though if any one could give me advice that would be great. Iv read on here that your not really supposed to date anyone until one year sober-my ex boyfriend finished with me At 3 months sober which broke my heart but I managed to stay sober. I have not dated anyone since and it's 8-9 months now. Iv been asked out buy a guy that I know from years ago but I havnt seen him in years and he wants to travel up to see me wer I live. Do you think this is a bad idea? As it's not one year yet?

Hard to say whether it's a bad idea. I think the best thing to do would be to take it slow and get to know each other better before jumping into anything. Being sober will well place you to evaluate him and see if he's a good partner a good person to have in your life. He's a bit of an unknown right now as you haven't seen each other in some years.

Personally I wouldn't be committing to anything more than lunch at this stage.

Ughh tell me about it… Sometimes I feel like a senior citizen when Im really only 34 years old and only 9 months sober. Everytime someone asks me about my weekend or what I did last night I feel like a complete "lame-o". I like to say I don't care about what other people think but I really do right now and thats a fact.