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Join Date: Oct 2013
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"he thinks his alcoholism is simple and there's nothing wrong with him"
Hi Regina. Alcoholics tend to look at all things through beer bottle glasses. Or whatever the bottle containing the beverage of choice. And those glasses don't usually show problems. But you know there are problems. Alcoholism is a family disease and impacts everyone. I am also struggling with whether I care at all about whether my husband gets sober now or whether it is too little too late. It is hard. You really do wonder where the love went but when an alcoholic chooses to live in the bottle there isn't much room in there for anything else.
As for the kids and divorce. Trickier question but if your kids are 10 and 12 then they have to be aware that there is something going on. My kids are 8 and 5 and they know. It has impacted them. Since AH has been out of the house they are a lot calmer about everything in general. our household is far less chaotic. When my husband is sober, he tries to be "super daddy" and overdoes it. When drinking, he is always seeking to get the kids on "his side" as in "Mommy wants Daddy out of the house" or "Do you want daddy to stay?" I think the kids are starting to see through that bs. My son, the 8 year old, commented a couple of weeks ago "Daddy's clumsy isn't he? I mean, he messes a lot of stuff up." Kids notice things.
On some plane the kids might be angry with me but I don't think they will hate me. I am not taking daddy away from them. They can still see daddy when he is sober. I would rather have them be angry with me for a while about it than lose my sanity. Losing yourself is scary and it doesn't have to be that way.
I really do get where you are and a lot of what you are thinking. It could have been me writing most of what you wrote.
Hi Regina. Alcoholics tend to look at all things through beer bottle glasses. Or whatever the bottle containing the beverage of choice. And those glasses don't usually show problems. But you know there are problems. Alcoholism is a family disease and impacts everyone. I am also struggling with whether I care at all about whether my husband gets sober now or whether it is too little too late. It is hard. You really do wonder where the love went but when an alcoholic chooses to live in the bottle there isn't much room in there for anything else.
As for the kids and divorce. Trickier question but if your kids are 10 and 12 then they have to be aware that there is something going on. My kids are 8 and 5 and they know. It has impacted them. Since AH has been out of the house they are a lot calmer about everything in general. our household is far less chaotic. When my husband is sober, he tries to be "super daddy" and overdoes it. When drinking, he is always seeking to get the kids on "his side" as in "Mommy wants Daddy out of the house" or "Do you want daddy to stay?" I think the kids are starting to see through that bs. My son, the 8 year old, commented a couple of weeks ago "Daddy's clumsy isn't he? I mean, he messes a lot of stuff up." Kids notice things.
On some plane the kids might be angry with me but I don't think they will hate me. I am not taking daddy away from them. They can still see daddy when he is sober. I would rather have them be angry with me for a while about it than lose my sanity. Losing yourself is scary and it doesn't have to be that way.
I really do get where you are and a lot of what you are thinking. It could have been me writing most of what you wrote.
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