Acheleus

So 81 days is the longest I have ever been sober. My sponsor is helping me and I have a home group which helps me. Today I felt able to clean and cook without crippling anxiety. But...

I am physically and emotionally involved with someone in the program. I fell in love, and I have never felt closer to anyone else before. It is bizarre.

This is troubling me: why can't I just grow up and focus on recovery? SR is good for me, and I value the people on here.

Am I heading in the wrong direction?

Hearts

I can't answer that for you. I don't know if you're male or female (or how much it matters) but I have way too many friends who fall over and over again to their own detriment. Not even alcoholics, they just can't help themselves. To tell them to just "grow up" wouldn't work. I can say that you need to love yourself before you can REALLY love anyone else. As cheesy as that sounds, I find it to be true. Focusing on recovery is loving yourself first. OTOH, I know what it's like to realize that you've fallen in love. At least for me, it's a very screwed (no pun intended) feeling.

Dee74

I'm glad to hear from Ach and congrats on the 81 days.

You and this girl are in the early days - you're both still finding out who you are sober.

If you really like this woman and want this relationship to work and to last - wait.

If you're both still around and interested several months down the track, you'll both be in a far better headspace.

D

1newcreation

Sounds to me in sought of way wrong direction. If you're sobriety is important to you & I'm sure it is, you will keep it simple
Adding someone on top of recovery @ 3 mths is not a good idea coz she's trying to get well too. Don't worry that you might "loose her" or what not. Focus on you & if she doesn't respect that o well, let go

bllit

Stay focused