SO SO Mad At Myself
 

So I was at an after work party, and it was supposed to be at a restaurant. (according to google there wasn't a bar in there, which is why I agreed to go) Anyway, you know the story, Someone brings out a pitcher of beer and hands you a glass. Thankfully they didnt have hard alcohol. Without thinking, I put the glass to my lips and drank. I had slightly less than one beer before I even thought about it.

After my sobriety brain finally kicked in, I said I had to go and left. I was in no way intoxicated. Is this considered a slip? I've only ever drank to the point of being trashed beyond recognition so I have no reference. Can I wake up tomorrow and claim 18 days sobriety? This was not enough to make me drunk. Just enough to scare me.

I want honesty over trying to make me feel better. I already know it was a mistake and I will not be buying no more alcohol tonight or tomorrow or ever for that matter.

If I deliberately drink, it's a slip. I'd have to start over.

You drank. Are differing answers about what sober day you are on going to change that?

Well, to be completely honest, I would call it a slip. You did consciously drink beer, but as far as changing your sobriety date, that is a personal decision that only you can make.

I think there are two schools of thought.

One is the black and white school - you drank, be honest, day one.

I tend to belong to that school because I always rationalised for the Olympics.

I could, for example, convince myself that having had most of a beer, that having really weak shandies (beer diluted with lemonade) are ok....but I know where that would end.

I also see my sobriety date as more than a number. It's the day my life changed.

The other school tends to see reverting to day one as demoralising and detrimental to continuing sobriety.'heck I have to go back to day one anyway I may as well make it 'worth it'...

Many people now seem to have recovery dates (when they decided to get sober) and sobriety dates (when they actually did get sober).

I have no experience with that.

You have to choose which one you're comfortable with Justin.

I know we can do things by rote or by accident and pick up a beer and maybe take a gulp - I wouldn't call that a relapse....but nearly finishing the glass is a step beyond tho, isn't it?

D

Then I will start over again. Either way, I'm not going to the liquor store tonight. I totally appreciate the honestly.

Even though I failed I'm going to go to bed sober. And that's WAY more than I could have said about myself a month ago.

Over time days matter less, so in the long run its no big deal. I suggest dust yourself off, learn from this and reset the clock.

Your sober days are not lost, you have made progress.

The trick is not yo keep making the same mistakes.

Things changed for me when my goal became embracing sobriety unconditionally rather than "quitting drinking"

I think failure is a strong word. You made a mistake - wise men learn from their mistakes Justin :)

D

I did drink most of a beer. It doesn't really matter what the name of the alcohol in my stomach is... All that matters is I don't go to the liquor store tonight.

No

You learned something - you'll be more vigilant and determined now. You didn't let it turn into a bender (I probably would have). Please don't waste too much time berating yourself. :hug:

Honestly, I say who cares? I don't mean that in a callous way, I sincerely mean, other than for the fact of counting days, who cares? If in your heart you believe it is a slip then start over at day 1; if you don't then continue on.

Don't beat the hell out of yourself, I did and the results weren't pretty! I swore to myself I was done on aug 1st 2011 sitting in a jail cell with a dwi charge, not my first! About $15000 later the nightmare isn't over yet , my laterest greatest lawyer couldn't make my sentencing on monday put off again till Feb 10th . Lots of indecision and anxiety, but i'm not drinking so i'm good! You go to bed sober and think good thoughts and forget that silly beer!

if it were me, I'd reset the counter...

But I'd also count it a "win".....

Because you caught yourself and you left and you didn't follow on to the liquor store, then you logged on here and you were honest not just with yourself but with other human beings.

That's progress.

I'd then be careful because I know that for ME - my "Slick" voice in my head would probably try to capitalize on this little opening. "Progress" could be broadened into "well... hey that wasn't bad at all so next time... in situations like that, it's cool. But only under certain conditions and only one.... blah blah blah". Or any of a thousand other stupid lines of rationale.

Good onya for owning it. The important thing is - Full Sobriety Ahead.

One of the hardest parts of this is learning how to deal with people in our lives that aren't alcoholics. You don't want to just announce to your work colleagues when they pass you a beer, "No thanks, I'm a recovering alcoholic." If your work friends know you as someone who always had a drink at after work functions, they might give you a hard time if you just say no thanks I'm good. It's definitely a tricky one.
Hang in there - we're all here to stay strong and get help

jJQ, I'm guessing that I would have done exactly the same thing. Like you, too, though, I think that I'd be better prepared for the next time a drink was placed right in front of me. I'm sure you'll move on from this -- perhaps benefit from the experience in a way. Good for you that you didn't throw up your hands and drink any more than you did. I'm less sure that I would have reacted in the same manner.

Justin, yes, you drank alcohol and I know you feel bad about it.

As Dee said, it's important to not allow the negative feelings to take you back to drinking. That happened to me numerous times. However, you must see this as an opportunity to learn about yourself and to not have to go through this again.

I'm really glad that you're here and you posted.

This journey is definitely not easy a lot of bumps along the way. Everyone makes mistakes along the way, heck you don't learn anything unless you make a few of them anyways.

Okay you drank, but don't forget that you do have 17 days sober that no one can take away from you. Concentrate on what kept you going those days. Learn from what happen and pat yourself for at least being able to walk away. That is progress. You are NOT a failure.

My dad was an alcoholic and when he quit drinking he would tell people that it was for example "it has been 25 days since I had my last drink." Maybe that is the way to look at it.

You are not restarting really, you are resetting :).

In my opinion it is a slip rather than a relapse, More of a big deal to you than it is to my opinion. Don't let it hold you back, you are doing great. Don't drink tomorrow xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I would say look at it for what it is, nothing more - nothing less. You drank a beer, and you had plenty of opportunity to avoid it. You could have not gone in the first place. You could have left when you realized they were serving alcohol even though you checked it out ahead of time. You could have ordered a soda or water. You could have said no thanks.

I list those not to belittle or make you feel bad, but to point out that whatever your plan was it either isn't enough or you didn't follow it. The link below is to your thread when you started out and has a very detailed list of what you planned to do moving forward. Take a look and ask yourself if it need changes or if you just need to work/follow it more closely.

Learn from it and move forward, coming here is a great step in that direction. There is no reason you cannot so this.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-tomorrow.html