Well, I'm back...
 

Going to give this another go, or at least try. I was doing very well for a while...but by "well" I mean drinking in moderation. When I woke up this morning having polished off almost 850ml of Vodka on my own yesterday/last night, I realized I have a pretty odd definition of moderation lately.

I'm tired of wasting my weekends being wasted. I'm tired of not remembering the last time I went to sleep without medicine. I'm tired of waking up in the middle of the night feeling sweat drip off of me like I was in a rainstorm. This needs to stop.

So...I'm back.

So what are you going to do differently this time?

Actually stop lol. Not funny but funny to me. In the past I only stopped for a week or so, then moderated. It lasts a while, then I am back to full tilt. This time, no moderation. I have lots of support where I am, but never used it because I never intended to stop.

Welcome back. Some don't make it.
Moderation isn't in my vocabulary. I'm like you. Only I never moderated, I was a full on drunk. Alcoholism is progressive, so in short order I was drinking every day. Mornings, afternoon and night.
Save yourself the misery and don't get as bad as I was. It's not really living. It's a nightmare.

I get it, Change.

Sobriety never worked for me because I didn't try and (more importantly) I didn't want to make it work. Yeah I might have wanted to stop for a week or two but didn't have a plan beyond white-knuckling that week and lurking around here. I talked a big game but never accessed any of the gazillion tools at my disposal. Giving it a-go this time since, like you, I'm so tired of it all. This time I have every, single intention of stopping. Your post helps remind me how utterly exhausting this merry-go-round is.

Thank you.

Boy... have I been there.

Welcome.

:ring

I had a similar problem. It seems I never really wanted to "be sober", only moderate my drinking, but I think I am starting to accept the reality of it: I can't stop and it can and will get worse (it has for me). Congrats on coming back, its a great first step on the road to recovery.

Welcome back! :) I hope the support here can help you stay sober for good this time. :)

I had forgotten how great you all are. :-)

This is a pretty bad hangover and I am really good at wanting to be sober when I feel like this. The real test will be Friday night. I've already told my husband I want to go to a meeting with him, just have to get past that "I feel fine. What was the big deal?" feeling you get when you've been clean for a bit.

Welcome back, you can do it xxxx

Hi Change for Better.....Glad you are here & recognize there is "life to be lived". I have "toyed" with the moderation thing for awhile now but after a lot of "experimenting" I KNOW absolutely that I just cannot drink....there is no moderation when I have that first drink.

I've read here a few times & have thought about it quite a bit is to change my thinking from being someone who "can't drink" to someone who doesn't have to drink....when I think that way, I feel like I've been released from that "prison" that alcohol has kept me in. Here with you!!

Welcome back C4G :)

I recommend you think a little on what it will take to stay stopped - check out some support, and start looking at the changes you'll have to make in your life - that's a good start.

D

Welcome back. There is a better way to live.

I found once the "option" of drinking and getting it right (this time) was taken of the table I was freed up to experience life differently.

I even say to myself now "I have been relieved from the burden of drinking" I swear I am going to say it one day when someone offers me a drink!!

Embracing sobriety unconditionally is different than giving up drinking