TheMiddlePath

A few days ago I came here and pledged that I would not drink again. I meant it. But I hit an early roadblock, and in hindsight I should have seen it coming.

Yesterday there was a family celebration at a new local bar and grill, where of course most people go to drink and let loose. When I first learned of the invite, I didn't think it would be a problem for me and my new pledge. Despite the advice that newbies should avoid alcohol events early in their recovery, I honestly thought I had it covered. I imagined myself easily declining drinks at the bar, and instead ordering club soda, which I actually like, with all types of twists. I imagined ordering soda with a splash of cranberry, maybe some cherry. Oh, I was actually getting excited about the opportunity to show myself how strong and easy it would be. Just imagine how great I would feel the next morning. This morning.

After we got to the bar and found our seat with family, and l saw a few of the oversized drinks people had, it took me 0.2 seconds to order an oversized alcoholic drink of my own. I held out for less than 1 second. 1 lousy second. I'm not sure I even had a second thought about it.

I'm not sure what was going through my head. Maybe I thought I needed to fit it, when in Rome, and all that. But after about 30 minutes, I realized that I had drank way more than anyone else. I was chugging the beers. No one else was getting hammered. Oh look, some people are even drinking sodas. Jeez. I read the situation as a drunk fest. Wrong.

So there I was, in a bar, after pledging not to drink, legally intoxicated. What happened?

I pretty much ignored all the basic rules.

In hindsight I probably could have used a chit with my wife an said I wasn't feeling well and told her to go on without me. I was feeling under the weather, so I wouldn't have been lying. Also, my wife probably would have had just as much fun if not more without me. It was her sister's party. I was just hanging around with the husbands. A little uncomfortable, which was another warning sign.

So, I need to reevaluate my skills. And the conclusion is, I don't have any. None. The thought of me going to a bar and just ordering club soda was, in the end, a bad joke.

I'm not sure what this means. Maybe I just avoid night time parties for a while, and go with daytime social events. Maybe bars will by my enemy for life. Who knows.

Good luck to all of you beginners out there. I hope you have a better handle on your skills than I do.

TMP

Ethos23

Im glad you learned a lesson from it. I have 24 days and have some events coming up that I am going to avoid because I think it would be hard not to cave. Stay strong.

Anna

I avoided any place where alcohol was being served, day or night, for a long time. I think it was about 10 months into recovery that I felt comfortable around alcohol.

IOAA2

In a similar situations like yours I wanted to drink more than I wanted to be sober. It's that simple, I was undisciplined and reacted the same as I always did.

An old AA saying is stay out of slippery places unless you want to slip.

BE WELL

Mountainmanbob

I think that you hit it on the nail there
your sober tool belt at this time is lacking of many tools

usually sober ones need some kind of a Program
so as to stay sober
each person works their Program their own way

Mountainman

doggonecarl

Now you know where this advice comes from...from failing to heed it ourselves.

20-20 hindsight is better than no hindsight at all. Perhaps you'll be more open to the next bit of advice that's given.

NoJimmy

Is your Wife aware of your commitment to not drink? Always good to have an accountability partner on board when you face challenging situations. If it took you that little time to order a drink, it sounds like that decision was made long before you ever arrived. It takes some effort to get honest with ourselves.
You can't avoid alcohol in social situations forever, but it's good to have a solid plan going in. But avoiding them all together in early sobriety is best if possible.

TheMiddlePath

I reluctantly mentioned it to my wife last night. Arguably not the best time to discuss it. I can't recall exactly what she said, but I think it was a blow off. Like she didn't think it was serious. In her defense, my own doctor doesn't think its serious.

I'm probably on my own for this. At least I have SR!

least

I would avoid such situations in the future until you get some sober time under your belt.

doggonecarl

Try telling her again, sober. You will benefit having her support. And yes, that's newbie advice I'm giving .