Day 220 reflections
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 638
Day 220 reflections
This morning as I woke up I was still living parts of the dream I had, and I thought that I've gone insane or am actually going insane. Moments later I realize this is not the case. It's the AV.
It can be so convincing and stealthy, so relentless and bizarre in its ways, yet in the end still recognizable for what it is.
The main tricks for the AV on my part have always been the constant suggestions that I'm a bad person and that I've screwed things up beyond repair (so there is no point in trying to live).
Being a bad person comes about in manifestations of thoughts, which appear ocd and are a boastful, arrogant, non-loving personality that I guess many would fall prey to given the right circumstances.
Screwing things up is one of the AVs standard illusions. It always wishes to portray the wrong message and images of the world around, and in doing so can be extremely convincing. This can take the form of visual hallucination. Meaning I saw something happen but something else actually happened. Where it's like being blindfolded by the AV for a while.
All in all. While the AV likes to lie that recovery lasts forever and it is always in power, which is not true, I know that it will not be able to do things forever. Today is one of those days to once again realize this and be so very happy about choosing sobriety. It is so worth it.
Thanks for reading.
It can be so convincing and stealthy, so relentless and bizarre in its ways, yet in the end still recognizable for what it is.
The main tricks for the AV on my part have always been the constant suggestions that I'm a bad person and that I've screwed things up beyond repair (so there is no point in trying to live).
Being a bad person comes about in manifestations of thoughts, which appear ocd and are a boastful, arrogant, non-loving personality that I guess many would fall prey to given the right circumstances.
Screwing things up is one of the AVs standard illusions. It always wishes to portray the wrong message and images of the world around, and in doing so can be extremely convincing. This can take the form of visual hallucination. Meaning I saw something happen but something else actually happened. Where it's like being blindfolded by the AV for a while.
All in all. While the AV likes to lie that recovery lasts forever and it is always in power, which is not true, I know that it will not be able to do things forever. Today is one of those days to once again realize this and be so very happy about choosing sobriety. It is so worth it.
Thanks for reading.
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