Hello, another "am I an Alcoholic?" guy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 27
Hello, another "am I an Alcoholic?" guy
Hello. Here i am.
I have spent the last 5 years or so asking myself if I have a drinking problem. I have obsessed about it to the point of obsession, if that makes any sense. When I look back on the years , I remember my kids birthdays, our vacations, and so on, all against the backdrop of drinking angst. How much I was drinking and how bad I felt about it. On paper, I clearly drank too much. Six on weekdays, more on weekends. But I always went to work and even coached the kids games. But I always wondered. The doc was no help. He said he'd hate to see me stop drinking all together and would rather I moderate, 2 per day. Uh huh.
So last summer, by some stroke, I was able to stop for about six weeks. Hands down I felt better than ever. Everything was better. Sleep, diet, concentration. Then when I went out to dinner for my birthday, I said "why not just one glass of wine." I had two. The next day I had 2, and the day after that 3. And so on, until here I am again.
So, as of now, this is what I know:
#1. If you think you might have a problem, and you've thought about it for a few years, stop wasting energy. Yes. There is a problem. Only people with problems spend time thinking about drinking vs. not drinking. Seems silly to even have to say it, but of course I do.
#2. Moderation is a trick. I just don't know how else to say it. I do not think the middle path is moderation. Alcohol just isn't any good.
So from here on out I pledge to stop altogether. This is day 1. I will do this.
I hope to contribute to the forums in some helpful way.
TMP
I have spent the last 5 years or so asking myself if I have a drinking problem. I have obsessed about it to the point of obsession, if that makes any sense. When I look back on the years , I remember my kids birthdays, our vacations, and so on, all against the backdrop of drinking angst. How much I was drinking and how bad I felt about it. On paper, I clearly drank too much. Six on weekdays, more on weekends. But I always went to work and even coached the kids games. But I always wondered. The doc was no help. He said he'd hate to see me stop drinking all together and would rather I moderate, 2 per day. Uh huh.
So last summer, by some stroke, I was able to stop for about six weeks. Hands down I felt better than ever. Everything was better. Sleep, diet, concentration. Then when I went out to dinner for my birthday, I said "why not just one glass of wine." I had two. The next day I had 2, and the day after that 3. And so on, until here I am again.
So, as of now, this is what I know:
#1. If you think you might have a problem, and you've thought about it for a few years, stop wasting energy. Yes. There is a problem. Only people with problems spend time thinking about drinking vs. not drinking. Seems silly to even have to say it, but of course I do.
#2. Moderation is a trick. I just don't know how else to say it. I do not think the middle path is moderation. Alcohol just isn't any good.
So from here on out I pledge to stop altogether. This is day 1. I will do this.
I hope to contribute to the forums in some helpful way.
TMP
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Portland, ME
Posts: 14
Awesome news! I'm on day one too!
You're right, anybody who is control of their drinking doesn't have to say "I can control this."
I had nine months last year and told myself it would be okay to have a beer. Whoops, bad idea.
Congrats on being proactive! You'll beat this thing with our help.
You're right, anybody who is control of their drinking doesn't have to say "I can control this."
I had nine months last year and told myself it would be okay to have a beer. Whoops, bad idea.
Congrats on being proactive! You'll beat this thing with our help.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
Welcome TMP! 
I'm happy you found us. There is so much support & encouragement here - I think you'll really benefit from joining.
I agree completely with your two observations. I only wish I'd come to that conclusion decades ago. Congratulations on this big decision - and on your Day 1. Of course you can do this.
I'm happy you found us. There is so much support & encouragement here - I think you'll really benefit from joining.I agree completely with your two observations. I only wish I'd come to that conclusion decades ago. Congratulations on this big decision - and on your Day 1. Of course you can do this.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
I too had to finally choose to put alcohol behind me. It was doing too much damage to my life and health.
I'm glad you found us and joined the family.
You'll find a lot of support here. 
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
Posts: 1,799
Welcome! And thanks for the great intro. I am learning that many MD's while well intentioned, don't understand addiction. You sound very self aware and insightful, I am sure you will be a great addition here!
Dented But Reliable
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Pickerington, OH
Posts: 31
Welcome! It starts just like that. I had to know when I'd had enough. And when I was convinced. The day that I could say without fear "I am an alcoholic" was very liberating. It was a blessing that I didn't have to hit "rock bottom" as some unfortunately (or fortunately) have. That's the beauty of how this program has grown since the 1930s. Folks with low bottoms have brought their bottoms up to meet mine. Every story is different, but the elements are the same. And the solution is universal. Keep on moving forward! 
It starts just like that. I had to know when I'd had enough. And when I was convinced. The day that I could say without fear "I am an alcoholic" was very liberating. It was a blessing that I didn't have to hit "rock bottom" as some unfortunately (or fortunately) have. That's the beauty of how this program has grown since the 1930s. Folks with low bottoms have brought their bottoms up to meet mine. Every story is different, but the elements are the same. And the solution is universal. Keep on moving forward! 
Alcohol Free Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 482
Your post was faultless and so spot on.
I am not a member of Salt Recovery dot com, I do not think I need to moderate the amount of salt I intake and I dont cover my food with endless mountains of salt. I can take it or leave it, makes no real difference to me.
It is this way with non-alcoholics with alcohol.
I am not a member of Salt Recovery dot com, I do not think I need to moderate the amount of salt I intake and I dont cover my food with endless mountains of salt. I can take it or leave it, makes no real difference to me.
It is this way with non-alcoholics with alcohol.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by TheMiddlePath 
#2. Moderation is a trick.
Welcome! Good for you for figuring it out! Wish I had a lot sooner!
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 699
Hi tmp - I agree with everything you've written - I did 3 months last summer and it was great - I felt strong / empowered / happy - then I decided I could drink shandy, which returned me to cider then wine - it's amazing how quickly I slipped back into drinking everyday and then returning to my crazy binges. Enough is enough. I have a problem and need to fix it before everything falls apart. I am on day 3 and am determined to do this properly this time - I'd just forgotten how painful the first few days / weeks are
We can do this - good luck to you
We can do this - good luck to you
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
I'm glad that you came to the conclusions that you did. You CAN do this!
This floors me though regarding your physician:
That's right up there with my daughter's physician. She told him that she was scared and thought that she was addicted to opiates and asked if there was anything he could do to help her. His answer was "Can't you just wean yourself off?"
The other was after my alcoholic brother had a quadruple bypass and his surgeon's words the last time he saw him before leaving the hospital which were "I bet that you're happy that this is over and you could use a few drinks".
I'm glad that you didn't take the doctors words to heart. Physicians are just as human as we are and sometimes I think we forget that.
This floors me though regarding your physician:
He said he'd hate to see me stop drinking all together and would rather I moderate, 2 per day.
The other was after my alcoholic brother had a quadruple bypass and his surgeon's words the last time he saw him before leaving the hospital which were "I bet that you're happy that this is over and you could use a few drinks".
I'm glad that you didn't take the doctors words to heart. Physicians are just as human as we are and sometimes I think we forget that.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 133
TMP - Welcome and VERY well put. I'm at 8 weeks right now and that AV teases me with the very thoughts you write about. "you feel great, your liver is fine, why not have ONE drink", "you've proven you are not an alcoholic, so why not have a drink", etc... Post here and contribute, many here care and will help you on the journey!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Port ELizabeth
Posts: 27
I am also on day one .... i just keep doing it over and over......
....... its very encouraging seeing that i am not the only one that struggles with this terrible addiction !! I stopped for 4 years and relapsed then went to rehab stopped for 3 months and started again.......
....... its very encouraging seeing that i am not the only one that struggles with this terrible addiction !! I stopped for 4 years and relapsed then went to rehab stopped for 3 months and started again.......
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
solid gold, TMP...
may you find all the resources and support you need to honor this choice and never again have to feel those awful feelings of a booze-hazed life or hit the hard and terrifying bottom of a rock-bottom to keep you on the sober path.
Welcome, and thank you for helping me stay sober today.
may you find all the resources and support you need to honor this choice and never again have to feel those awful feelings of a booze-hazed life or hit the hard and terrifying bottom of a rock-bottom to keep you on the sober path.
Welcome, and thank you for helping me stay sober today.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
