kittenfuzz

So, I am an alcoholic. Once I have that drink, it's over. Binge begins and I am out of service for a week. Nothing matters, just where the next bottle of wine is coming from. Its a great thing that I have only two meaningful people in my life...less people to hurt...but boy, do I hurt my two people. Sometimes, I just want to be left alone forever with my bottles so I can avoid the infliction of pain that is the result of my addiction. No one deserves to know an alcoholic. If anyone can relate, please do. I don't know what to do (don't drink, idiot). Blahh.

least

I hope the support you find here can help you stop drinking and start enjoying your life.

KateL

Hang around and read and post, hopefully something will click xxx lots of people in the same boat xxxx

Inca

What I have learned is that knowing an alcoholic in recovery is worth knowing.

Don't beat yourself up for being who you are. Although it's understandable to want to isolate and hide from this, it is an enormous help to know that there are others out there just like you that truly understand what it's like. Take advantage of the fellowship and support that's available.

Ghostlight1

Once I had a drink it was on for me, too. Never knew where I'd end up or how long I'd drink.
Then the Horseman of anxiety, fear and remorse would ride in and I'd be in bed for two or three days. Sick. Sick of it all. Sick of myself. Swearing off booze forever with solemn vows. Only to start feeling better and do it all over again.
This went on for years.

There is hope. I've managed to put three years together. If you've had enough, you can do it, too.
I know how you feel. You're not alone. Read and post here, maybe give AA a try. You have to be willing.

Best to you.

ClearMind

Nobody is a hopeless cause. I was a severe alcoholic, I've done so many things to both myself and the people close to me, and believe me, if I can change, so can you. Alcohol caused me to lose control. It caused me to be a terrible person, but I know that was just my "drunk" self and not my true self. It can be done, believe me. The hardest part of it is the first month or so, and then you switch to focusing on not quitting but how to live your life without alcohol.

Good luck, and keep posting on SR. It's a great place.

Nonsensical

I definitely relate. That's your addiction talking. It will tell anything it thinks will compel you to fetch it some more wine. Right now it's telling you that you are worthless and no one cares if you get drunk - so you might as well drink up.

It's a damn lie.

If one of your two meaningful people came to you and said, "Once I have that drink, it's over. Binge begins and I am out of service for a week. Nothing matters, just where the next bottle of wine is coming from" - how would you reply?

DO whatever you would tell them to do. You are worthy of your own advice.

Best of Luck on Your Journey!

Imabuleva

Actively drinking alcoholics... well those aren't very fun to be around. And it really, really sucks being one.

I think recovering / recovered alcoholics are a different story... consider making yourself one of those.

kittenfuzz

i would shake them and tell me to smarten the fcuk up. thank you, i need to remember that.