So yeah, trying again, day 2
 

A local AA meeting that has over 300 members post all their speaker meetings online. I REALLY wanted to go out and drink but I listened to a random meeting and it really CLICKED with me because this guy was sorta in the same boat I was in (or am in)

https://ssl.gstatic.com/docs/doclist...udio_xl128.png

If you want to listen I think his message is really good. It convinced me not to drink today.

That link did not work.

https://drive.google.com/folderview?...kU&usp=sharing

It's Chris from 2013/3/11.

I'm glad you're trying again. :)

Keep on trying! I am too. We are in this together. At least it seems like we're all in the same boat trying to live a sober life.

It was just funny and it made me laugh, but he pointed out that he would do ANYTHING to get drunk if he could, and I feel the same way. He ended up homeless living under a bridge and it scares me that I could eventually end that way too.

That is scary. Homeless under a bridge, in jail, dead. So many terrifying outcomes. I can't listen to that now but I plan to this evening. Thanks for sharing.

He also points out that his buddy was a heroin addict and he got so drunk he let him die. Got too drunk to show up to the funeral. It just hits me now that this could be my future. I'm about to go get some food, but I really don't want to drink. While he was funny about it, the story really got to me.

PS- If you go to the link I posted it's kinda at the bottom of all the meetings.

Chris from 2013/3/11.

Congrats on day 2. Glad you have found something that clicks for you too, keep doing it.

welcome back ncog :)

D

I've always been amazed at how low some people will go to hit a bottom.any don't stop until the drinking puts them 6 foot under

Trust me, I know this. I recently had back to back seizures. Quit for a few days. Started drinking again, went to the ER. Quit again. Started up again.

It's very destructive behavior and will kill me if I keep it up. I'm listening to another of those online speaker meetings I posted. The guy points out that he let his friend drown so he could steal his bag of crack. In a way I hear stuff like this and think 'that's soo low', but I know I've done a lot of things probably on par.

We end up lowering the bar on our standards at the very end.

at one point i could never fathom drinking 2 days in a row.
at one point i could never think that i would drive intoxicated.
at one point i could never imagine skipping work because i am too hungover.
at one point i could never understand how someone could drink first thing in the morning.
at one point i could never accept that i might lose a very respectable job because of my drinking.
at one point i could never imagine waking up in ER because i OD'd on alcohol and had to be brought back to life (literally).

.... well all of the above eventually came true, because i just kept on drinking and didn't give a damn about sobriety. if i didn't take some action years ago, i am sure all of the other nasty things (that i never though would ever ever happen to me, i.e. jail, death, seriously hurting someone) would eventually come true as well.

maybe i'm not the one to preach, since i've relapsed a few times including this very damn past weekend. but if i learned anything and am willing to work for is that 1. none of the above has to happen ever again. 2. i am only a drink away from complete and utter destruction of my life.

Like my previous post. I've certainly never let a friend drown to get his stash. BUT, I have done my fair share of really low things. Said things I wish I could take back. Had gf's tell me 'booze or me' and I said 'booze. Once at a party I got into a fight with a good friend. Beat him something horrible. Don't remember it. Just woke up the next day covered in blood that I knew was not mine. I learned later that people had to drag me off him, and a lot of the people I know lost a lot of respect for me.

I wish I could take this all back.

Just listened to Chris' message and that was very inspiring. Thanks for sharing Ncog.

I just think he worded it well and despite his sad message he really kinda hit it out of the park. Sorta wished I was actually there.

Thank you for sharing that link :)

I'm listening to the most recent one. I relate to the pain these ppl went through. Just about all of them are good (some are better than others).

Kinda funny, he is from Jaywalkers. Been there a few times.