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Went to an AA meeting this morning and

Old 01-22-2014, 08:14 AM
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Went to an AA meeting this morning and

I drove way out of my way to go to a meeting because there are so few where I live. It took 90 minutes to get there but I felt like I needed to go. I called in late to work. I was amazed at the length of sobriety some of the people have. One woman was celebrating 24 years sober and they gave her a chip. I find it overwhelming to even think about not drinking today or tomorrow or this coming weekend. How can someone make it for 24 years? It actually kind of scared me. I think I had the wrong reaction.

Well today is day 4. I am afraid to drink again because I do not ever want to have to stop again but I am also afraid to think about not drinking. Once again I feel like I am writing something that makes no sense.
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Old 01-22-2014, 08:19 AM
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It wouldn't make sense most places, but here at SR we read you loud and clear.

24 years - wow, that's awesome. Good for her!

What's your plan for this weekend? It's supposed to be cold so I am going to work in my garage and start to get my tax stuff together. Maybe I'll take my wife to a movie.
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Old 01-22-2014, 08:23 AM
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Tell you what the first year is slow they fly by after that. The days are still 24 hours but the months an years seem to be shorter lol
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Old 01-22-2014, 08:28 AM
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After we get some sober time, the days don't feel like they did at the beginning. It's not a case of every day feeling like we have to fight through the day without drinking, be hypervigilant etc. Being a non drinker becomes the new norm in our life.

We get beyond a point where alcohol controls us either by us drinking, or wanting to drink it.

That is why so often we hear people say "one day at a time" because looking at forever, or the rest of our lives feels overwhelming. But many many things in life feel that way if we look at them like that.

When my kids were young, if I parented day by day, whatever came up, I was fine, but if I thought ahead of all the things that MIGHT happen between now and infinity...I would totally freak.

Same if I think about aging. Day by day, it's fine, but when I fast forward to all that I might have to contend with....I feel overwhelmed.

Most of us find we really can deal with things, and enjoy life, etc...when we stay busy with what's in front of us.

congrats on your sober time! It gets better!
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Old 01-22-2014, 08:32 AM
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I'm onto Day 3 and something that is helping me from being so scared is to only think of not drinking in segments of 24 hours or less. I went to my first AA meeting yesterday and they gave me the book "Living Sober" and I thought it would be redundant and not helpful and it has been so enlightening. When I think in terms of "Never again will I drink" and "I'll never taste another drop of alcohol again" it can feel scary and overwhelming. But taking it a day at a time, literally, and just filling up that day with activities is helping me through this initial adjustment.

Hang in there! You rock and we're all in this together!
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Old 01-22-2014, 08:34 AM
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Heh 2b,

Treading new waters can often be overwhelming. It can also produce a high like you can't believe. It takes time to learn to swim though. With a little practice, you'll know what technique is the best for you.

Keep afloat and you'll not regret it!
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Old 01-22-2014, 08:38 AM
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Any amount of time sober is awesome.

I needed all lengths of sobriety in recovery
to give me hope that if any one person can
stay sober for as long as they have, then so
could I.

It was listening to each share their own
ESH - experiences. strengths and hopes
of what their lives were and is like before,
during and after their drinking or drugging
careers.

I learned from them to help me pass on
that knowledge to others.
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Old 01-22-2014, 08:57 AM
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love "living sober" book. very helpful. don't think about 24 years. too overwhelming. one day at a time. for this 24 hours you can remain sober. congrats on going.
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Old 01-22-2014, 09:19 AM
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I drank every single day for the last 4 years of my drinking, and couldn't stop despite many attempts. Not even for a day. After going through a detox and hitting my first couple of meetings I felt like you. 90 days seemed like an eternity, and I really couldn't wrap my brain around the possibility that anyone could stay completely sober, without even a sip of alcohol, longer than a year. When people said they had 4 or 5 years I honestly believed they meant they only had a drink here and there.

In august that will have been 30 miraculous sober years ago, and it still kinda freaks me out when I think about. That was something that was beyond impossible for me, and not even anything I wanted at the time I got sober. It just happened through my continually turning my life and will over to my HP.

Only creepy thing about it for me is how quickly the time goes by. Like one day you're here... Snap yer fingers, and suddenly you're there.

Wishing u the best. The sober world is a wonderful one, and trust me when I tell you ANYONE cand have it. I'm living breathing proof.
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Old 01-22-2014, 11:08 AM
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Originally Posted by 2bhappier View Post
I drove way out of my way to go to a meeting because there are so few where I live. It took 90 minutes to get there but I felt like I needed to go. I called in late to work. I was amazed at the length of sobriety some of the people have. One woman was celebrating 24 years sober and they gave her a chip. I find it overwhelming to even think about not drinking today or tomorrow or this coming weekend. How can someone make it for 24 years? It actually kind of scared me. I think I had the wrong reaction.

Well today is day 4. I am afraid to drink again because I do not ever want to have to stop again but I am also afraid to think about not drinking. Once again I feel like I am writing something that makes no sense.
I find it sorta weird when people point out how hard it is for them to get to meetings. I guess in some areas there are not that many. Small towns I assume. Here in Richmond there are so many there is a website to organize them all.

Interactive Guide to AA Meetings in and around Richmond, VA

There are 58 meetings today. There is one close to my house that no lie, has over 300 people attend. They have a website and they record the speaker meetings and post them online (tons of them). Sometimes when I feel down I'll listen to them.

On a side note if you'd like to listen to them you can find them here...

https://drive.google.com/folderview?...kU&usp=sharing
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Old 01-22-2014, 11:27 AM
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Ncognito, I live in a very remote part of the country so we have 2 meetings a week that are within an hour of my house. I do wish there were more. I grew up in the metro DC area and I am sure there are a ton of meetings back there. We don't even have any food delivery where I live and it is a long trek to the grocery store. That said, I have lots of land, beautiful views, and a peaceful environment.
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Old 01-22-2014, 11:52 AM
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"How can someone make it for 24 years?"
8760 days,one day at a time. however, there was prolly a LOT of footwork involved during those days.
24 years is a long time, but im willing to bet that woman, like myself, knows 4 days is an eternity.

" I am afraid to drink again because I do not ever want to have to stop again..."
that to me is a healthy fear

"...but I am also afraid to think about not drinking. "
fear of the unknown was a bugger for me. I drank for so many years I really didn't know what life without alcohol would be like. I decided to trust them people at the meetings, people I had never met, that as long as I kept goin back and did what the big book suggested, I wouldn't have that fear anymore.
they were right.
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Old 01-22-2014, 11:57 AM
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Originally Posted by 2bhappier View Post
Ncognito, I live in a very remote part of the country so we have 2 meetings a week that are within an hour of my house. I do wish there were more. I grew up in the metro DC area and I am sure there are a ton of meetings back there. We don't even have any food delivery where I live and it is a long trek to the grocery store. That said, I have lots of land, beautiful views, and a peaceful environment.
That's cool. I live in an area of town called Carytown. I do restaurant work, certainly don't make a lot of money. BUT, I do live in a very nice part of town. If you go down East Cary you don't see houses. You see mansions. Some are so large they hire someone to stand out at the gate to screen people that want to come in.

This is Phillip Morris country (Altria is here), so a lot of those people are from old school tobacco money. I guess that's one of the reasons I never cared for AA. I walk to a meeting and the parking lots are 7-series Beamers, high end Acuras, etc. I walk in wearing dirty jeans and sneakers, these people are all wearing suits and what not. Mind you, they are nice.

The meeting I pointed out (300+ people) takes place in a Cathedral. Not a dingy church basement (gone to a few meetings like that).
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Old 01-22-2014, 12:45 PM
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When I finally got sober for good I couldn't fathom being sober for years. It was all I could do to get thru one day. But now that's over four years ago. And I thought I was hopeless... but I'm not.
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Old 01-22-2014, 01:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Ncognito13 View Post
I guess that's one of the reasons I never cared for AA. I walk to a meeting and the parking lots are 7-series Beamers, high end Acuras, etc. I walk in wearing dirty jeans and sneakers, these people are all wearing suits and what not.
Well, that's a new one.
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Old 01-22-2014, 01:34 PM
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Ncog, if that were my AA experience I might not like it either! Out here there are mostly big trucks in the parking lot! This is mountain country. Everyone seemed very down to earth at the meetings. I didn't detect any arrogance (or wealth, but you never can tell). If there are any mansions they are definitely not very visible.

I left the DC area because I had a hard time with the feeling that what I did for a living, who I worked for, what political party I was affiliated with, defined who I was. That's just not me.

Least, I was just wondering if there will ever be a day when I DON'T count the days sober and being sober will just be who I am.
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Old 01-22-2014, 01:55 PM
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I try to remember that we are right where we are supposed to be. We are all on this recovery journey together, but we are not all in the same place.
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Old 01-22-2014, 01:55 PM
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today is my 9th dry day I do find reading these positive posts helps me by the day
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Old 01-22-2014, 01:57 PM
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Me too, Colin.
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Old 01-22-2014, 02:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Ncognito13 View Post
I find it sorta weird when people point out how hard it is for them to get to meetings. I guess in some areas there are not that many. Small towns I assume. Here in Richmond there are so many there is a website to organize them all.

Interactive Guide to AA Meetings in and around Richmond, VA

There are 58 meetings today. There is one close to my house that no lie, has over 300 people attend. They have a website and they record the speaker meetings and post them online (tons of them). Sometimes when I feel down I'll listen to them.

On a side note if you'd like to listen to them you can find them here...

https://drive.google.com/folderview?...kU&usp=sharing
Like you I would have to drive 30 miles to a meeting. not bad in the milder months but can be hard in the winter. I so understand. I'm lucky to be near several meeing places for the winter. Good luck to you! Keep coming here when you can't drive to a meeting.
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