Dippy

Hi..first time here. Been drinking one to two bottles wine daily for the last three years. Managed the odd day or at most couple of weeks off, via medication. Am seeing an alcohol counsellor now and set the goal of just not drinking for two weeks. I managed four days then felt angry and deprived. Then I managed a week, felt much better for it apart from headaches and some vagueness. Then I told myself I can just have the odd drink, which ended up back at my previous levels. Was planning on not drinking today, but am wondering if could have one more drink tonight to mark the end?
I have done this loads of times, but feels like I have to mark it. Sorry for the rambling. Is this alcoholic
type thinking, am so confused? Have used it to numb myself and cope with being a single mum..pathetic huh

Nonsensical

Yes.

suki44883

Why not mark your last drink as the end? Being a single mom can be rough, but drinking won't help that. In fact, drinking makes it harder to be the kind of mom your children need.

Welcome to SR, Dippy. You've found a place full of supportive people who would love to help you quit drinking. I hope you'll stay and do a lot of reading and posting. (((HUGS)))

Dippy

Thanks. I work with people with drink problems and so as soon as I get a bit of distance with me and alcohol, that voice starts telling me I was nowhere near as bad as some in terms of volume and frequency of drinking, in terms of I have not lost everything,my liver function tests were ok. And other people still want me to drink. I just wish I knew this drink could be my last and that I would not get so confidently complacent further down the line....

adee

Just quit now - you aren't going to magically feel ready after a drink tonight.

Welcome - there is a lot of support here.

suki44883

I've never understood why anyone would want to wait until things get horrible before they do the right thing. If you found out you had stage 2 cancer, would you wait until it progressed to stage 4 before you did anything about it? Alcoholism is progressive. The longer you drink the harder it is to stop. The more times you stop, the withdrawals are harder to get through. You don't have to be nearly as bad as some before you quit.

Nonsensical

If you keep taking the advice of that voice, then one day you can have the worst drunk stories at work.

I hear that voice, too. For 25 years he has told me everything I wanted to hear. Turns out they were all lies.

My life is significantly better since I stopped taking advice from the liar living in my head. I highly recommend it.

Best of Luck on Your Journey!

Dippy

Feel consumed by it today. I work most days. Not today. When I am in situations where I can drink, it's an obsession. I do hide it though and am not far off losing job. I've drank and driven and I've put myself in some very vulnerable and dangerous positions when drunk. I can't afford this. I don't want to wait for my life to crash around me, I have said I am stopping so many times..and failed

LadyinBC

I definitely second this!

Nonsensical

You only fail if you stop trying. Until then you just haven't succeeded yet.

I am familiar with the obsession. Not drinking is simple - you just don't pour it in your mouth. Feeling OK not drinking - that gets tougher. Especially in the first couple of months.

Besides drinking, what do you find relaxing?

suki44883

How about getting some help? Posting here will give you much online support, but I think some face-to-face support would help, too. One thing is certain, if you continue drinking, there will come a time when your life will come crashing down. Do the right thing for yourself and your children. They deserve more, and so do you.

Hevyn

Welcome Dippy! It's great to meet you.

As Suki mentioned - I also wonder why people have to wait for things to get horrible before stopping - yet that's exactly what I did. I played with it for years - half-hearted attempts at quitting that always failed. I proceeded to get 2 dui's, ruined my reputation at work, hurt & confused friends and family, destroyed my health. Then & only then did I admit I had no control. It shouldn't have taken my complete destruction! I hope you'll stop now Dippy - most likely your 'one last drink' wouldn't be just one - and you'll be making it even harder on yourself.

You can do this - we know you can.

Dippy

I don't have much time to relax...drinking is the quickest route from A to relax for me. It's hectic with two young children and a busy job, one child has special needs and their dad has gone. I know I'm a better mum when not drinking, but it's like a clenched fist in my chest when I know I could just go and buy it. I gave up smoking and don't remember my last cigarette I suppose. Are there better and worse days to stop? Today feels like a worse day! I went to an AA meeting a while ago. I felt like a fledgling compared to the men in there. I am getting some one to one face to face support now. I could have had several DUI charges, Drunk and disorderly, and been the victim of a few assaults too from me putting myself vulnerable. I love my kids but drink has been the only relaxing thing for me, so I don't really know what else I enjoy.

DoPerdition

I think it is likely your AV talking. "Just one more" it says, but you know once that first drink is down, the bottle is sure to follow. The AV knows that once you have the first drink then it has won.

least

You will, in time, rediscover what you enjoy doing. Living sober is its own reward in terms of better health and a clearer mind. You and your kids deserve a better life. I hope the support and info here can help you quit drinking for good.

Nonsensical

1. That's the voice again.

2. You'll never find anything else that feels relaxing unless you stop drinking and go looking for it. Alcohol is easy, but it comes with a big pile of negative side effects (some of which you've listed).

3. Move the calendar forward to the year 2035. One of your children comes to you and says:
Are you going to tell him to wait until tomorrow? Are you going to tell her it's too difficult to find some other way to relax?

YOU are good enough for the same advice you'd give your child.

You can do this.

KateL

I do hope you can just stop before that one last drink. We all had to to make our day ones. Good luck and keep posting xxxxxx

2bhappier

If I had a dime for all of the "last" drinks I've had I'd be super rich! I just can't do that. I am new to this so I feel like I probably don't have too much to offer yet but I know that voice that says this will be my "last" drink and it really wasn't. Best wishes and keep coming back.

Imabuleva

My "last drink" always ends up being the continuation of a binge.

Just my experience.

Kris47

You have lots to offer as does everyone else.

You're doing it and showing it can be done.

Dippy, why not show yourself you can quit now, too?

We're all with you!