Need advice
 

Hi team im new here i have suffered since the age of 5with anxiety and ocd which studies prove its a anxiety coping mechenism , since my first drink at 12 i loved it as it took away my anxiety, so now at 33 im a anxious alcoholic in recovery . I have suffered low self esteem and eating disorders most my life, now at 33 i compete in fitness competitions and keep as fit as possible just so i feel ok with myself , its so hard being so negative all the time . My partner hates this and threatens to kick me out of his house if i dont improve this self esteem issue , the reason is that i constantly ask him questions about my looks eg, have i gained weight , have i got wrinkles etc ,i drink because when i do i feel beautiful ,but im sure i dont look it being smashed out of my head ,yesterday he said if do this **** anymore i will be kicked out with my / his two children . Now im petrified as i dont work and i have been a mother of my two babies for 5 years, this self esteem thing is something that hasnt improved with counselling or self help counsellors , another thing is he says you wont survive in the big wide world and you will crawl back , etc. i feel so sad confused well atleast im sober , I feel scared for me and my children always being threatened to be kicked out I know it's my fault due to my issues

Dee, can you help with this one please?

This guy would kick you and the kids out because you have self esteem issues??? What kind of person would do such a thing? :( You deserve better from a partner. :hug:

I hope we can help you with your addiction issues. There's a lot of support here. :hug:

Savarna, best I can say is to try to addres the Alcohol issue, it always brings other dilemmas. We sometime feel like everything is against us when it 's the bottle.

You mean this guy would kick out his own children because you have self-esteem issues??

If that's the case and you are afraid you'll be kicked out, then my advice would be to leave. Get a job, take your children and move on and away from this guy.

I'm sorry you're being treated so coldly Savarna. I hope you'll be successful in staying sober so you can have a clear head to think about your future. It's unfair for you to feel trapped that way. Please know that you're among friends here - I hope it helps to be able to discuss your feelings. :hug:

I agree with Anna.

If this guy would kick you (& your kids) out over this, is he really worth hanging on to?
He's probably contributing to your self esteem issues.

Counselling helped me a lot with my self esteem issues, but you need the right counsellor.

I'm not sure what you do with your days but volunteering on my community really helped me feel worthwhile and help me feel I had a sense of purpose.

Both those things go a long way to improvising self esteem, I think.

I also surrounded myself with people who supported me and told me it was ok to be me.

D

I agree with Dee - finding the right counselor is key. I've suffered from anxiety and OCD since age five as well. I didn't seek help until my early 20s. That's more than 15 years of pure torture - putting up a good front on the outside being the "perfect" person, while dying inside with doubt, anxiety, and obtrusive thoughts. Luckily, I found the right counselor and she literally saved my life. Not to say that I don't still have my share if issues to work on (I am here after all), but my life for the most part is full. I wish you the best of luck and if the first counselor doesn't work, try another - the one you need is out there!!!

Thanks guys he is a good man and I think he's just had enough of my crap, my issue is does one just leave ? Or does one stay and try harder I've had these issues before him so I know it's not him