Ncognito13

I sorta made a deal with myself today. At times when I've tried to quit drinking, I never tell my 'friends'. What happens eventually is that something comes up (sporting events, birthdays) and they call me constantly wondering where I am. So I often cave in and go 'to be social'. I try to play it off like 'I'm not in the mood to drink', BUT when someone hands me a drink it starts a chain reaction where I just don't stop.

I'm just going to start telling people that I have a desire to quit. Stop lying to them. I'm sure a lot of people will be skeptical, but if they can't accept that, I no longer care.

Dee74

I think thats a good start - I'd also be very very selective about what invites you accept for a while.

D

PurpleKnight

Sounds like a good plan!! . . . great job on thinking about things and seeing what you can change!!

I think that's all anyone does, we keep tweaking the plan until eventually we figure it out, the main thing is trying something different when the original plan comes up short!!

2muchpain

Ncognito, you sound like a great guy and I hope everything works out for you, but it sounds like you are really not sure if you want to stop. I can relate because sometimes I wonder if this sober thing is worth it, although my life is a thousand times better when I don't drink, so you would think the decision to drink or not would be easy but it's not. Right now, I am doing things I don't want to do. I'm not crazy about AA, but I go. I hate having to see a therapist, but I go. Sometimes I would rather sit home and not put some time in the gym, but I know it is an important part of my recovery. If I have any chance of staying sober, I have to do these things. All I know is that alcohol kicked my a** the last time I drank, and it's waiting to do it again if I give it a chance. Not happening today! I hope you find your way.

MythOfSisyphus

Ncognito, it sounds like you're where I was years ago. If I remember right you work in the kitchen, right? I've been a chef for many years. Kitchen guys work hard and party harder. The culture is just one of drinking and general debauchery. It's hot, hard, stressful work. All night you're just waiting to get home and get that first drink down and unwind. That first turns into a dozen more, so you pass out and come to with your alarm blaring. God, it can't already be time to get up? you think to yourself. So you get to work, bleary-eyed and feeling like you just crawled out of your grave. You start prepping your station still feeling like death spread on a cracker. Eventually the rush of tickets starts- the rail is full but your head is still spinning. You swear to God that if you survive the night you're gonna go straight home and go to bed. But after a while you sweat it out of your body and start feeling normal again. By closing time you think I could go for just a couple drinks. Of course the couple turns into a twelve pack of beer and a couple shots again, and you pass out dead drunk and get ready to replay the same sorry scenario the next day.

But I can tell you that you can get off the ride! Getting sober you'll get to work and laugh at all the basket cases that are bleary-eyed zombies like you used to be.

I never tried AA. I found AVRT (you can do a search for it). That was 15 months ago. Once I decided to stop and started AVRT I haven't drank another drop, nor have I gone to any meetings. After 25 years of drinking a fifth of liquor, 15 beers or 3 bottles of wine, I reached a point where I didn't need to drink anything.