Just wanted to share my story
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 2
Just wanted to share my story
I'll try to keep it short, so please bear with me.
I'm 26 years old and i've been a heavy drinker for a year now. I'm currently on my 5th day of recovery. I had no intention of stopping, like many of you I didn't even really notice a problem until it was too late. I woke up one morning feeling nauseous which was unusual. I vomited once, that was it. Then I collapsed onto my bed from exhaustion. I was covered in sweat and running a fever by the time I woke up. I reached for the water at my bedside and my hands were shaking so badly I couldn't even bring the glass to my lips without spilling everywhere. That's when I knew I hit rock bottom.
I had my first panic attack at the age of 5 and have had them ever since. I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 10 and subsequently prescribed all sorts of medication which to this day still infuriates me. I still hold the belief children shouldn't be medicated unless they are violent/hurting themselves others etc, but I wasn't. I was just the quiet girl with no friends, and I was fine with that.
Alcoholism travels in my family, but I never thought it would affect me. I didn't even have my first sip of alcohol until I was 22. I was always obsessed with my health, ever since someone told me one day I had acne because I didn't eat well enough. I think to myself all the time it's a good thing I had acne otherwise I would have started earlier and who knows where I would be. Probably locked up in a mental institution again.
I find it strange that for the first 2 years of drinking I was a completely normal social drinker. I only drank maybe twice a week and when I did it was only a glass of wine or two. By the time I was 25 I had moved up to at least one glass of wine a night. Before I knew it I was finishing a 1.75L in only 4-5 days.
I've been very disoriented. Horrible dizziness, body aches all over, feeling very disoriented. It's hard to describe really. I don't even feel like myself, or like i'm on this planet. I've always been the type to worry about every little thing, and now i'm honestly worried more than ever i've permanently destroyed my brain. Oh and I can't sleep so that doesn't help.
Well thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this. I wish you all success.
I'm 26 years old and i've been a heavy drinker for a year now. I'm currently on my 5th day of recovery. I had no intention of stopping, like many of you I didn't even really notice a problem until it was too late. I woke up one morning feeling nauseous which was unusual. I vomited once, that was it. Then I collapsed onto my bed from exhaustion. I was covered in sweat and running a fever by the time I woke up. I reached for the water at my bedside and my hands were shaking so badly I couldn't even bring the glass to my lips without spilling everywhere. That's when I knew I hit rock bottom.
I had my first panic attack at the age of 5 and have had them ever since. I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 10 and subsequently prescribed all sorts of medication which to this day still infuriates me. I still hold the belief children shouldn't be medicated unless they are violent/hurting themselves others etc, but I wasn't. I was just the quiet girl with no friends, and I was fine with that.
Alcoholism travels in my family, but I never thought it would affect me. I didn't even have my first sip of alcohol until I was 22. I was always obsessed with my health, ever since someone told me one day I had acne because I didn't eat well enough. I think to myself all the time it's a good thing I had acne otherwise I would have started earlier and who knows where I would be. Probably locked up in a mental institution again.
I find it strange that for the first 2 years of drinking I was a completely normal social drinker. I only drank maybe twice a week and when I did it was only a glass of wine or two. By the time I was 25 I had moved up to at least one glass of wine a night. Before I knew it I was finishing a 1.75L in only 4-5 days.
I've been very disoriented. Horrible dizziness, body aches all over, feeling very disoriented. It's hard to describe really. I don't even feel like myself, or like i'm on this planet. I've always been the type to worry about every little thing, and now i'm honestly worried more than ever i've permanently destroyed my brain. Oh and I can't sleep so that doesn't help.
Well thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this. I wish you all success.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Hi and welcome Nobody123 
There's a ton of support here - I started in my 20s as a drinker too, but soon made up for lost time...
Have you seen a Dr? A good check up might help allay some of those fears?
D
There's a ton of support here - I started in my 20s as a drinker too, but soon made up for lost time...
Have you seen a Dr? A good check up might help allay some of those fears?
D
Nobody123 - I'm sure that's a misnomer - you are definitely someone and it's good to have you with us 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 2
Thank you Dee. No I haven't been to a doctor yet since I know they will want to do blood work. I don't have insurance at the moment so there's no way I can afford it. The strange thing is I wake up feeling perfectly normal but as the day goes on I start to feel more body aches/more depressed. By nighttime is when I start to feel really weird. So i'm trying to stay hopeful.
Thank you Kate and Skye.
Thank you Kate and Skye.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Welcome, Nobody123! Right now fear is your friend. Most of us drink because we're afraid to quit, and only quit when our fear of dying overrules our fear of living. While we can't give medical advice you're probably not in any fear of permanent damage. It's amazing how much the human body can withstand; it starts repairing itself the instant you stop poisoning it.
The first days of sobriety are very scary and disorienting. Your body and mind have been running on booze for so long they don't know what to do without it. Usually the first week is the roughest, but out of the blue you get little patches of discomfort. It might take a year before you're completely "over it".
Sleeping is the toughest part, or at least it was for me. When I decided to quit drinking I quickly figured out that I never really "fell asleep" so much as just drank til I passed out. The first couple sober nights I had major anxiety/panic attacks when I turned out the lights (and this from someone who had never experienced this before). But that passed pretty quickly.
I'm glad you found us, Nobody. I was in a really bad spot when I found SR but it has been incredibly helpful to me. It will surely be a help to you, too.
The first days of sobriety are very scary and disorienting. Your body and mind have been running on booze for so long they don't know what to do without it. Usually the first week is the roughest, but out of the blue you get little patches of discomfort. It might take a year before you're completely "over it".
Sleeping is the toughest part, or at least it was for me. When I decided to quit drinking I quickly figured out that I never really "fell asleep" so much as just drank til I passed out. The first couple sober nights I had major anxiety/panic attacks when I turned out the lights (and this from someone who had never experienced this before). But that passed pretty quickly.
I'm glad you found us, Nobody. I was in a really bad spot when I found SR but it has been incredibly helpful to me. It will surely be a help to you, too.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Originally Posted by Nobody123 
Thank you Dee. No I haven't been to a doctor yet since I know they will want to do blood work. I don't have insurance at the moment so there's no way I can afford it. The strange thing is I wake up feeling perfectly normal but as the day goes on I start to feel more body aches/more depressed. By nighttime is when I start to feel really weird. So i'm trying to stay hopeful.
Thank you Kate and Skye.
Thank you Kate and Skye.
There are a lot of free or low cost clinics around - if there's one in your local area you might get some medical advice there?
http://www.needymeds.org/free_clinics.taf
The 10377 clinics in this database are free, low cost, low cost with a sliding scale based on income, or offer some type of financial assistance.
2-1-1 provides free and confidential information and referral. Call 2-1-1 for help with food, housing, employment, health care, counseling and more. Learn more about your local 2-1-1 by looking it up here.
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