countrystrong

Hi everyone! I am a newcomer to sobriety and to this site. In a nutshell, I was drinking too much. I am currently 27 with a wife and I am the owner/operator of a farm in west central Illinois. I used to socially drink on weekends with the occasional drinks with lunch or during dinner during the week. In October something triggered in my head (I still don't know what it was) and I started drinking more heavily. Slowly that came to all day long. Towards the end of November I was drinking almost a 5th of vodka a day. This is when my wife said I had to stop. I did, without counseling for almost 3 weeks. The mental withdrawals were horrendous (no physical) and I used xxanex to offset them. I relapsed around the holidays and went on a bender for 4 days. I then sobered up and started going to AA. This started to help but on the 7th I relapsed again on vacation where I was with my wife who I tried to hide it from. (a pint bought at a liquor store). Since then I have not had a drink, am going to AA daily (except weekends which include church) and am able to focus on my business and the positives of life. I am rarely (every 3rd or 4th day) taking half of a xxanex if the anxiety gets too bad. Is this occasional xxanex a bad idea? Anyway, thanks for listening and I look forward to being on these forums!

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum!!

Great job on making the decision to be Sober, you'll find loads of support here!!

countrystrong

Thanks Purpleknight!

OliveDog

Hi Countrystrong,

I've found the SR forum to be extremely helpful during the 10 days that I've been drink free (so far). I'm not sure I would have stuck to it without this website.

I'll add that I had the opportunity to stop when I was much much younger, but continued for three decades. Nothing good came from that. Drinking has held me back in all aspects of life. I'm hoping to turn some of that around.

Glad you've found SR.

Best,
ODog

Hevyn

Welcome countrystrong! It's so great to have you with us.

Be proud of your decision. You've prevented alcohol from destroying your life by taking action. I'm older too - and I agree with ODog - drinking held me back terribly. I was a prisoner to it in the end - totally trapped. This never has to be you country.

tootsl1

Welcome countrystrong plenty of support here

Kris47

Hello CountryStrong,

Now is the time to nip this in the bud. You are young and can still get a handle on it. If you're going on the wagon is tough now, it will only get worse later. I think you are smart for coming here and trying to get a handle on your life. Welcome!

spud66

Well you are doing a great job, be proud of your achievements and be proud of the person you are.

I have given up on New years Eve and feeling really good. I feel really strong and this time (yes many Times trying) it seems easier but having said that I have my guard up and very aware of signs and signals.

I'm treating this Sobriety as a gift and I really want to take care of and treasure, The importance of this Sobriety to me is priceless. I never thought I would get another chance like this.

Again Country well done

Spud (Australia)

least

Congrats on your sober time and here's to many more sober days and weeks. I don't think the occasional Xanax would be harmful, just remember that they are highly addictive and be careful with them.

MariahGayle

Great Job on 11 days Country!!

Straightshoot

I have been tapering Xanax for 6 weeks. Now approaching day 5 without any. I hardly took much, 1/2 of the lowest dose not always daily for around a year. As explained above, they are extremely addictive. But once in awhile may not lead down that path for everyone. I know two women who take them maybe once or twice a month, and that seems to cause no problems. 11 days is absolutely fabulous.

KateL

Welcome and well done. Be proud of your strength, it is immense xxx

countrystrong

Thank you all for the uplifting thoughts and insight! I look forward very much to being in this online community!

countrystrong

Today I relapsed again. And I am not sure why. The day started off like any other, my wife kissed me goodbye while she was sleeping in bed and I headed to the farm to work, like every week day. One of my hired hands and I went to look for a new transmission for a truck that we own and a new work truck as well, I felt fine, but for some reason, literally not knowing why, on the way home I bought another pint of vodka and drank it very quickly. I would love to have an answer for doing this, as I had felt great up to the moment that I bought the pint.

Hevyn

I kept falling back on it too - without really knowing why. It wasn't doing a thing for me & I was miserable when it was in my system. I guess I always expected it to enhance my life & make things easier - then one day I found myself drinking 'round the clock. I hope you'll get this under control soon countrystrong. We know you can.

Dee74

Hey countrystrong - welcome

have you considered you don't have to know why you drink in order to stop it?
I spent decades searching for the why...but I kept drinking as I was searching.

Because you're addicted is as good an answer as any - what you really need to do I think is work out a plan - have people to call when the urge comes upon you - make change in your life that reinforce your commitment to quitting...strive to make better healthier decisions and stop this thing once and for all.

as far as the xanax goes, if it's prescribed for you especially for this purpose then fine...if not, you might benefit from have a chat with your Dr.?

D

malcolmsloan

Welcome, Countrystrong. Good to have you.