Precious Time....
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Precious Time....
I don't always have these thoughts, but in the past few years; sometimes I do. So there I was, just pulling out of the mexican place parking lot with some burritos and quesadillas and a tostada salad, just minding my own business when it hit me just how almost-terrifyingly-fast those 41 years I've lived flashed by. Most of the time, the me that walks around inside of me feels like he's eighteen still in most respects. Invincible, live forever stuff. Yet there it was. Not quite a panic attack. Not quite even a fear so much as an almost palpable sense of the importance of Time. Time.... though it be a construct we've invented in our human efforts to make sense of things, is the one thing we cannot earn, create or mine our way to more of.
In that moment I was grateful for a lot of things, suddenly, all at once. And in that moment I found myself feeling the weight of importance of every step and every breath. I was glad I'd seen the sunrise that morning. I was grateful for Love. And I thought to myself; 'How fast... my God... how lightning-quick FAST will those next 41 go?' - and then 'Will there even BE 41 more?".
I thought also about how much of that TIME I'd spent not even remembering it. Not appreciating the gifts. Not - indeed - even conscious. How much richer would my life have been had it not included so much of that time spent under the hazy blanket of alcohol?
The whole thing made cozying up next to my Lady on the sofa eating take out and watching Parks and Rec on TV a hell of a lot more sacred. This morning, the coffee has a certain reverence. I'm grateful to be sober and looking forward to living the remaining time in a way that allows me to fully live.
Every moment, a gift.
Happy Sunday All.....
In that moment I was grateful for a lot of things, suddenly, all at once. And in that moment I found myself feeling the weight of importance of every step and every breath. I was glad I'd seen the sunrise that morning. I was grateful for Love. And I thought to myself; 'How fast... my God... how lightning-quick FAST will those next 41 go?' - and then 'Will there even BE 41 more?".
I thought also about how much of that TIME I'd spent not even remembering it. Not appreciating the gifts. Not - indeed - even conscious. How much richer would my life have been had it not included so much of that time spent under the hazy blanket of alcohol?
The whole thing made cozying up next to my Lady on the sofa eating take out and watching Parks and Rec on TV a hell of a lot more sacred. This morning, the coffee has a certain reverence. I'm grateful to be sober and looking forward to living the remaining time in a way that allows me to fully live.
Every moment, a gift.
Happy Sunday All.....
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
Beautifully written, FreeOwl. There are no guarantees that any of us will live to see another day, let alone another 41 years, so it's up to us to live life to its fullest, appreciating each and every day as gift. That said, perhaps the past, while entwined with regrets, has enabled you to appreciate the life you have and live it in its fullest colors. Have you noticed how much more vivid colors are now without the haze of alcohol?
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 821
Thank you so much for these wonderful thoughts. I feel 21 and I am 37. I never thought too much about my age until I started this second job I am working and EVERYONE WAS YOUNGER THAN ME....I was like "what's this. I am the hot young one". Not so much to a bunch of 20 year olds.
What is awesome though is that I am sober now and can appreciate every moment. After all that is really all we have is now.
Jess
What is awesome though is that I am sober now and can appreciate every moment. After all that is really all we have is now.
Jess
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