Ncognito13

If it works for you, GREAT. AA annoys me. I've looked into RR. I like it, but I hate this idea that to get sober I need a 'support group'. Been sober for a bit, just hate when people tell me to go to AA. When I tell them 'no thanks' they makes me feel like some jerk that wants to drink. I really dont. Sorry to rant. After 15+ years of drinking ppl are like 'wtf man'. I'm trying really hard/

TigerLili

There are alternatives to AA but most of them do involve a support group of some kind. This website is a support group :-)

I think most people would struggle to get sober without help and support of some kind.

Maybe a drug and alcohol counsellor would help you?

Ncognito13

RR makes sense to me, BUT unlike AA there are no groups. I cant talk to anyone.I just tough it out and wish to god I had someone that understood my pain.

least

I too would suggest counseling. I know it helped me a lot to have a third party to talk to and get feedback from.

autan

SR is the only support group, I have been happy with. I found AA actually stressed me out so much, I felt that I needed a drink after. You have to go with what works for you.

Ncognito13

TY all for the kind words. I'm really trying hard. SB is at times the only REAL friend that I can talk to. So yeah, thanks.

Nonsensical

I don't believe I am powerless over alcohol. I don't 12 step. I don't believe a higher power is going to relieve my alcoholism. I don't believe it works if you work it. I don't care for holding hands with strangers and reciting the Lord's prayer. But sometimes I go to AA meetings. That's where I find other alcoholics working hard to stay sober. That's where I find people who understand my pain.

Best of luck on your journey!

LadyinBC

Just curious, what is it about AA that annoys you?

TigerLili

SR has a secular recovery section you could want to check out some time.

TigerLili

Haha me either. I used to go to meetings specifically because they didn't hold hands at the end!

I'm in Australia and I believe it's common practice across the board NOT to say the Lord's Prayer at the end. We say the Serenity Prayer and the person who kicks it off says "To the god of your understanding..."

I wouldn't have gone back if they had been saying the Lord's Prayer.

miamifella

In America they say the Lord's Prayer, but claim to be non-denominational.

Ncognito--I found the tough love approach of AA to be difficult. Sometimes it just felt cruel. And the help was not as strong as that I got from friends. (I would call friends when I wanted to use, which is against the 12-step way.)

I really needed non-judgmental help and honest one-on-one communication. A good clinical psychologist did wonders for me. I recommend this approach for anyone put off by the harshness of AA. AA helps a lot of people, but some of us need something different.

foolsgold66

You don't have to go to AA. SR is a support group. If you need face-to-face then you have to deal with what's available that way. Have you considered counseling\therapy?

NoJimmy

There's plenty about AA I don't care for, but I get enough out of the meetings I attend to keep me going back. I did it on my own for 5 years then failed, something was obviously missing.

Acheleus

The meetings help me. Some of the people are off.

Dee74

If AA's not your thing there's many many alternatives.

here's some links to some of the main players (including AA):

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend any one interested visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.


I don't really see why people spend so much time thinking or writing about something they don't like to be honest - I much prefer hearing about what works for people, not what doesn't.

I'd like to remind people again:

D

Diva76

Hi I'm Linda and I'm in recovery from co-dependency and food addiction. I once learned that addiction is the disease of isolation, so going to a support group whether it's AA or another organization, can be very helpful because it breaks the isolation and surrounds you with other people who are going through the same thing and have similar goals....

Speaking for myself only, I have found when I get miffed or defensive regarding feedback someone is giving me, this usually means that they have exposed an issue that I need to take a closer look at...

Whatever you decide, I wish you well and hope that you
you will find a program that right for you....

KariSue

I am the mom of a son with an addiction problem.

Your words are like a breath of fresh air. I don't care for the 12 step approach either. Nice to be able to vent that!

I much prefer private counseling. You should check it out.

For the person who asked why.... for me I didn't like the NarAnon meetings for family members because I don't like the premise that one is somehow 'defective' and 'powerless'. It seems degrading to say one is defective. If one believes they are 'powerless' then how could they possibly overcome this? Makes no sense to me. I would say they have all the power over this. They might need help to realize it or make it happen but the power is within them I believe.

I don't believe in the 'higher power' part either. If there were a higher power that takes care of things then why do people OD and die from this? Did their higher power skip out on them?

It just annoys me too. This post may be deleted because I sense that non AA talk is not appreciated here. I don't mean any disrespect as whatever works for any one individual is good because it does help many. But if someone wants to know why the 12 step program is not for someone then I think we should be able to express that....as long as we don't put down anyone or what way they choose to help themselves.

Kari

Dee74

Civil discussion is fine KariSue...
it's just that threads like this can stop being communicative and turn bad and that's not really good for anyone.

Like I said, I'd rather hear about what works than what doesn't - a focus on solutions, not more problems.
Neither Anna or myself are 12 steppers btw

D

neferkamichael

Ncognito13, everyone here understands your pain, and please pat yourself on the back for toughing it out, just proves how determined you are to stop using. I wished I could afford private counseling, sounds like a way to go. Rootin for ya.

Diva76

In our Al-Anon meeting tonight, we were discussing the first step and for me, powerlessness means that I can't control another person much less an alcoholic that is in denial over their addiction...
When I finally "got" that, I found my own life became a lot less chaotic....
In the past, when I made other people's business "my business" my own life ended up falling apart....

I think that the concept of powerless is open to personal interpretation...
In terms of the person being "defective" I don't think it's about disparaging the addict as a person, rather it's about all the "isms" and distorted ways of thinking that are "defective" if you will...

For example, I will always love my ex boyfriend and I will never think of him as being "defective"
It's true that I couldn't stay with him, because of how his alcoholism was affecting me, but there are still things about him that I find far from being defective....

Addict or non-addict, none of us is perfect and I think we're all works in progress....

Whichever path you take, I sincerely hope it's the right one for you as you deal with your son's addiction....

All the best,


Linda