foureyedfool

Today marks eight days of sobriety. I have mixed feelings about it, to be honest. I'm glad that I haven't drank in eight days. Heartburn has been minimal. The discomfort in my right side (liver inflammation I assume) has stopped for the most part...and yet, I want to drink. I don't feel particularly 'proud' about not drinking, I just feel...I want a drink. Haha.

My friend (who's been sober for 12 years) said, 'Why not just get a really small bottle, savor it for one night, and then tomorrow start again? Drinking a little bit once a week isn't a bad thing'. I asked him, 'Then why don't you do that?' He paused for a moment and said, 'Because I can't.'

I'd love to go out and just get a little bottle and nurse it for the rest of the night, but I'm not sure if it would stop there. Do you guys 'splurge', or is it all or nothing for you?

jkb

I am in the "all or nothing" category.

Zeepa

Nope, a "splurge" will result in me stoned and blasted within 24 hours

Carlotta

I am a non drinker and I do not pick up that first drink no matter what. For me taking that first drink would be like playing Russian roulette and I am absolutely unwilling to face the potential consequences.
It is what it is and I accept it.
Once you reach a state of acceptance when it comes to your alcoholism, realize that you can never drink safely again and be ok with it sobriety will become like a second nature and the cravings will leave you if not completely at least they will become few and far between.
Hang in there and please stop romanticizing the bottle. It is NOT your friend.

Cathryn2001

Never.

I quit for a reason--alcohol was negatively impacting my life. I know that if I were to pick up again, I'd end up right back where I started.

Best of luck to you.

PurpleKnight

Not sure I felt too proud either for the first few weeks, it was just something I knew I needed to do and push on with, and yes I wanted to drink too, as I was going to work, coming home tired and not being able to sleep.

I can't believe your friend suggested that, I guarantee that YOU CAN'T either, as you mentioned your not sure on whether it would stop there.

I'd be the same, once I would start, it would never be a small bottle or one pint, alcohol for me is an all or nothing affair!!

Dee74

I tried the splurging every so often deal - I read about guys who would splurge once a year...great sez I...
I couldn't make it three days.

Eventually my splurges melted into one another and I was back to square one.

Accepting that my relationship with alcohol would always be toxic was very freeing for me FEF.

Alcohol and I have a toxic relationship. still. Even tho I've been sober for almost 7 years.

To me, splurging is a lot like returning to an abusive relationship...just for the weekend.

D

EndGameNYC

There apparently is nothing stopping your from drinking, as long as you're willing to go back to the place where you were when you decided to put down the drink was a good idea. Or worse.

freshstart57

I don't use alcohol.

arteh

All or nothing for me I think - tbh if you are on here and asking the question I guess you might be the same too!

foureyedfool

I think I'm just trying to train myself to be someone who can live in moderation. I'm not sure if it's possible (I've had both success and slip-ups in the past). I love the idea of going out with my friends and drinking, but sitting at home alone and doing it? No thanks. I suppose that could be a way to limit myself, only drink when I'm out and with people but don't bring it into my own home.

EndGameNYC

I thought that was a good idea too, about three years before I lost everything.

foureyedfool

Ah I'm sorry to hear that EndGame. I guess we just have to figure out what works for us individually. I hope things are going better for you.

EndGameNYC

Yes. We do. For better or worse, we do.

Dee74

I tried every wrinkle. Drinking socially, drinking alone, drinking only one night a week. drinking beer instead of hard liquor...and on and on.

All failures.

After 20 years I gave up and admitted I was the type of drinker for whom moderation was impossible.

After eight days, you're thinking about drinking again.

do you think it possible you're the same kind of drinker I am too?

D

jaynie04

In my opinion….it sounds like you are in the pre-game stages of justification. I applaud you for being here and for being honest about it. When I read an early evening Saturday post like yours I often feel I am responding to the alcoholic voice that is trying to wrestle control from you, so please don't take this personally.

You are early on, it gets A LOT easier, quickly. I am really perplexed at a sober friend who would suggest this. In all honesty if I were you I would question that person's motives..if I was on a diet that was going to save my life I certainly would be surprised if someone who was a fitness nut offered me chocolate cake.

If you feel like you are getting advice that is contrary to what the AV is telling you it is because all of us recognize it. We have all been there for our own Saturday pre game, and unfortunately also been there for the Monday morning I can't look in the mirror cold sweat. If your liver is bothering you you body is actually telling you enough.

You can wake up tomorrow feeling so proud of yourself

foureyedfool

It's definitely possible. I guess I just don't see the harm in drinking once a week, especially when compared to what I used to do. If I go overboard and drink an entire huge bottle, then yes, that's obviously a problem, but to get a flask and drink it? I don't know. I've already committed to not drinking tonight and tomorrow's Sunday, so I'm at least good until Monday

Dee74

The great dream of every alcoholic is to 'just have one drink'...and to be satisfied.

D

Zeepa

The point is it wont stay at once a week. It never sticks. You clearly still want to drink

bigsombrero

I think that using alcohol as a reward for 8 days of sobriety will put you right back where you started.

If you must, I suggest rewarding yourself with a travel plan, or a good book, or a hobby you enjoy, or a movie.... anything but booze. A key to learning to live sober is to start creating positive "sober memories" so that you have a foundation to build on here. Eight days in, you are still very early in the game here.