Going to liquor store
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by MightyFlea21 
I have to go because my wife is busy and also doesn't know I have this issue. I don't plan to have any wine at the party but it's the pint of vodka that I'm tempted with. I can do without the wine no problem. I would hate to reset the clock back to 0. Ughhh! Y can't I just drink in moderation like others? Then this wouldn't be such a issue.
2. Widen the circle of accountability. You need to tell her that you don't drink any more.
Well done on not buying the vodka.
waking down
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,641
On NYE I drank sparkling pomegranate/apple juice from a wine glass. After the first brief conversation telling folks I wasn't drinking cuz I overdid it over Christmas (truth), nobody said a word. Too much sugar in the juice, though. I could only do a couple of glasses. Next time I think I'll take seltzer and a little juice to make spritzers, and maybe even a lime. Looks like a cocktail, tastes wonderful, low sugar, and I can drink a bunch of them.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 184
Originally Posted by Dee74
Trying to get sober is hard. Trying to do it without anyone else knowing makes it even harder.
You don't need to shout it from the rooftops but I think, if going to the store causes you this much turmoil? you might need to let those closest to you in on the secret.
I know you said that you think she will leave you - but think about it - that means she already knows you have a problem.
make some changes Flea - trying to keep on living a drinkers life is gonna either make you crack or leave you miserable.
D
You don't need to shout it from the rooftops but I think, if going to the store causes you this much turmoil? you might need to let those closest to you in on the secret.
I know you said that you think she will leave you - but think about it - that means she already knows you have a problem.
make some changes Flea - trying to keep on living a drinkers life is gonna either make you crack or leave you miserable.
D
(Also: Good for you for just buying the wine, but you're playing with fire, don't you think? What about a little antipasto and crackers? Heck, PM me your address and I'll send you a jar or two; my mom and I just canned some
).
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,303
I am learning that recovery is not so much about willpower as it is about making changes. I recently had to sit my husband down and tell him under no circumstances will I go buy alcohol for him. When I put myself in a situation where I have to rely on willpower over alcohol, especially my chosen type of alcohol, I am putting my sobriety in danger.
Have you considered making a few ground rules or changes that will help you remain sober? Like don't go to the liquor store?
I realize now that when I miss the buzz, what I really miss is the ability to mentally, emotionally, and physically check out of life. That is not an honest or authentic way to live. It's harder to be present, but eventually starts becoming second nature and much more rewarding.
Have you talked much with your wife about your struggles?
Have you considered making a few ground rules or changes that will help you remain sober? Like don't go to the liquor store?
I realize now that when I miss the buzz, what I really miss is the ability to mentally, emotionally, and physically check out of life. That is not an honest or authentic way to live. It's harder to be present, but eventually starts becoming second nature and much more rewarding.
Have you talked much with your wife about your struggles?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,303
Oops, I missed that you haven't talked with your partner. I really empathize about how hard it is to talk to your partner. I tried this once before and my husband was totally unsupportive. It really made it impossible for me. The second time around I felt I couldn't rely on him at all so I didn't even talk to him. He only found out because I left this website up on our computer by accident. Turns out two more years of escalated drinking may have changed his mind a bit and this time he is supportive. It did take me five months to have a serious conversation with him - we have had several power struggles about me going to the liquor store for him to get beer and I finally had to lay down the law and it worked.
Even if you don't go into details, just telling people casually that you aren't drinking is really helpful. I lost a bunch of weight when I quit and so I posted on Facebook excited about the weight loss and saying I had cut it out of my diet. Even that really helped me.
Even if you don't go into details, just telling people casually that you aren't drinking is really helpful. I lost a bunch of weight when I quit and so I posted on Facebook excited about the weight loss and saying I had cut it out of my diet. Even that really helped me.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: McKinlyville, Ca.
Posts: 214
Originally Posted by Kris47
Ya done good.
Now, if you can, let the people know you are abstaining. Ask your wife for help to continue on a path of sobriety.
Now, if you can, let the people know you are abstaining. Ask your wife for help to continue on a path of sobriety.
Good job. That would be a hard one for me.
Not sure what the situation or reason may be for your privacy on quitting but it seems that telling your wife might help you out as well.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Don't go.
If your priority is to be sober then you have no need to go to a liquor store. If others want to drink they can sort out their own drinks.
I've learnt it's allabout life changes, not just not drinking
I hope you got through ok
If your priority is to be sober then you have no need to go to a liquor store. If others want to drink they can sort out their own drinks.
I've learnt it's allabout life changes, not just not drinking
I hope you got through ok
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
It's pretty easy to not do something. I look around my house, and there's all sorts of things that I have not done. I have not done laundry, have not done the vacuuming, have not done the dusting . . you see? Easy as pie.
(I have not baked a pie -- see? they're all over the place)
(I have not baked a pie -- see? they're all over the place)
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Nottingham (UK)
Posts: 2,690
Originally Posted by Notmyrealname
It's pretty easy to not do something. I look around my house, and there's all sorts of things that I have not done. I have not done laundry, have not done the vacuuming, have not done the dusting . . you see? Easy as pie.
(I have not baked a pie -- see? they're all over the place)
(I have not baked a pie -- see? they're all over the place)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by MightyFlea21
I have to go because my wife is busy and also doesn't know I have this issue. I don't plan to have any wine at the party but it's the pint of vodka that I'm tempted with. I can do without the wine no problem. I would hate to reset the clock back to 0. Ughhh! Y can't I just drink in moderation like others? Then this wouldn't be such a issue.
I hope you decide to put getting and staying sober a much higher priority n yer life than living a lie. yer wife prolly knows you have issues with it already.
goin to the liquor store for others alcohol reminds me of 2 things-
hang around the barbershop long enough and I will eventually get my hair cut.
its Russian roulette.
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