startingnew2

I a new to this site and am hoping it will be a place I can be honest and join with others on the road to recovery. I hit bottom. I thought I had hit bottom in the past, but apparently not far enough. I always tried to convince myself that I didn't have a problem and my husband was crazy. I don't drink every day. I don't even drink every week, but when I do drink, I can't seem to stop. I can't just have 1 beer or 2 beers. If I start, I want more and more. I was at my husband's office party last night and embarrassed him, by drinking so much and when he tried to tell me I had enough, I apparently told him to "f off" in front of his co-workers and friends. I don't even remember it. I can't believe it. We were staying at a hotel. I woke up this morning to vomit all over the bed next to me, my husband sleeping on the couch in the room and he was so upset, because if he hadn't been there, I could have died. I apparently vomited lying on my back. He had to roll me over and was up all night, afraid I was going to vomit again and not know it. I am a horrible person. He is talking about leaving me and I can't blame him. I have promised before to "cut down" "be more careful", etc...and I keep overdrinking & I keep hurting him. I know I need to do this for myself. I have to start new. I don't want to lose him. I know all I can do is show him, but I don't know if he will stick around to see. He has already given me too many chances. If he stays or goes, I have to make myself better. I have a new job & I thought we were buying a new house together, but he is talking about me needing to just go find my own place. I don't know what to do. But I'm starting with being sober......

least

Being sober can be a good place to start for any situation. I'd show your husband that you mean business this time by not drinking under any circumstances. If he asks just tell him you're through with drinking and you are working on reinventing yourself without alcohol. Show him with your actions that you are sincere.


Welcome to the family. I'm glad you found us. There's a lot of support here.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I was in a situation similar to yours where my husband was threatening to leave. He had given me so many chances and I had messed up consistently. Like you, I finally had to accept that all I could do was to show him that I was changing and whether or not things worked out, I wanted to be sober.

I'm glad that you found us and that you are ready to stop drinking.

Dee74

Hi and welcome startingnew2

There's a lot of understanding here - most of us have been in similar situations...
the good thing is, we never have to feel that way, or cause our loved ones to feel that way. again

read around and post as much as you like - there's a lot of support here.
We have a Class of January support thread you can join too, if you're interested

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-4-a-6.html
D

startingnew2

The hardest part is he doesn't understand why I can't just have one or 2 beers. He thinks it will be awkward when I don't drink with our friends that drink. I told him, as he knows, I've tried that and it lasts for a few months, but then I'm back to where I am now. Honestly, I am the same way with eating. If I have any junk food, I just go crazy completlely pigging out on it. I'm better off not even starting. Anna, did your husband stay? I don't know what I'm going to do if he leaves me....

Mags1

Hi startingnew2, welcome to sr, lots of help and support here.x