Mamakate

So here's the thing, I know I should stop drinking but dammit, I don't want to! I have 3 children and a husband who is extremely difficult to deal with. He does not help with the kids at all but instead is a makes things harder because I also have to make up for his bad behaviour. All this is while trying to earn a college diploma. An example of bad behaviour is when he stays out all night and I need to try and make it seem ok for the kids when he walks in while they are eating their breakfast, or when he has a very disrespectful friend over and to hide it from them, I have to pack the kids up and tell them we are going out for ice cream. I love my kids so much and they are all I have and I am all they have, i cannot leave him because I would have to put them in daycare and that is devastating to me.

I only drink in the evenings and not during the day and I drink while finishing my chores for the day. I don't hurt anyone and all it does is make me happier and give me more patience to finish the day gracefully. But I am a christian, this may sound crazy to non christians, but I am terrified of being left behind after the rapture because of my little coping skill, or lack thereof. How do you quit drinking if all it does is help? Would I be left behind for drinking too much?

TigerLili

I can't answer the Christian side, but as to not wanting to give up but knowing you need to, maybe think of it as having any other disease. If you were a diabetic, you'd have to give up eating desserts and sweets and make lifestyle changes if you wanted to get better. As alcoholics we need to give up drinking and make lifestyle changes if we want to get better.

Welcome to SR. I'm sure a lot of people will be along with good advice.

TigerLili

Here is a link to a part of this site called 'Christians in Recovery'. Feel free to ask your question there as well as here.

Christians In Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Dee74

I can't answer your question theologically but I believe I'm better able to give service to God and my fellow brothers and sisters sober.

I used to think I hurt noone either - but I was emotionally unavailable to a lot of people - and physically unavailable after dark most nights.

I understand about stresses and problems.

I used to say 'if you had a life like mine you'd drink too...' (ha, ha) but the truth is I preferred the bottle to human interaction.

I don't believe that's a particularly Christ-like way to live.

D

GotGrace

Hi Mamakate, I am a Christian but I feel completely unqualified to answer your question about the rapture. But here is what I do know: alcoholism is a progressive disease, so if you continue to drink it will get worse. Period. Also, as your kids get older they will begin to observe your behavior. They will begin putting the pieces together. And they will need you in the evening, especially if your husband is not available to parent them. They will need homework help, rides to activities, they will want to have friends spend the night, the list goes on. You don't want to be drinking for that, take it from me.

I, too, could not imagine my life without my wine at the end of the day, but please believe me, my life has gotten so much better without it. It has not always been easy, but I am a better person. And that is what God wants from you: to be the person He created you to be.

least

If you're looking for support to stop drinking, you've come to the right place.

PurpleKnight

I can't answer the Christian question, but I would probably say that alcohol doesn't help!!

A hectic lifestyle may seem like it is being eased by alcohol, but without it you'd wake up with more energy, you would learn stronger/better coping skills which are being postponed by simply numbing things at the end of the day, and even though you may not think your hurting anyone, your relationships may not be as strong as they could be with alcohol out of the picture.

Alcohol subtly affects everything, I was "functioning", never lost a job, never lost my license, never was abusive to family/friends, but life wasn't what it could be as a result of alcohol.

Scott76

You might not think you are hurting anyone now but it will hurt the people you love if/when it kills you

IOAA2

I believe that children probably learn, from a very early age, more by observation than by word. Just watch how a young child mimics a parent. In my many years in AA there have been countless persons who said that they would never be like their drinking parent when they were growing up. So where do they end up?

BE WELL

Raider

but I am terrified of being left behind after the rapture because of my little coping skill, or lack thereof. How do you quit drinking if all it does is help? Would I be left behind for drinking too much?


Wow! I love that you posted that. I am also Christian. I too think exactly they same thought!!! I am a nondenominational Protestant. For me to come to grips with this, I believe God loves me and there is nothing I can or cannot do to make Him love me more. I can't act my way into Heaven. I drink, I know. Does He not love me because of it? No I don't believe that. If I stop, would it be pleasing to Him. I believe yes. MountainmanBob, thoughts?

ReadyAtLast

I'm a Christian too though can't answer your question about rapture.

I don't think God will love anyone any less because they have an addiction.
I'm not entirely comfortable with the underlying but unsaid point in some threads that because God loves us no matter what we do so we use this as an excuse to just carry on drinking and make no effort to quit.

As Christians, ( or indeed anyone) we have a responsbility to ourselves and our families to live the best life possible. If we abuse our bodies,neglecting ourselves and neglecting our families as a result of it then we are not living to our true potential or living the best life we can.

We think drinking helps us cope but in reality it just numbs emotion and makes us be not present in our own lives. Children pick up on it and no matter how much we kid ourselves we are in no way the best parents we could or should be when drinking

Mamakate-no one on here will say "of course you're ok, you keep on drinking" I think to even come to a site like this you must know that things are far from ok. I hope you stick around,read and post. There is also a specifc Christians in recovery forum somewhere.

Mamakate

Thanks a lot for all the great answers, I never really considered that as the kids get older i will need to be more available in the evenings. I have decided to make tommorow my first sober night. Any suggestions on what else to do with my evenings? How did you find that happy and calm feeling when first quitting?

Raider

I'm not entirely comfortable with the underlying but unsaid point in some threads that because God loves us no matter what we do so we use this as an excuse to just carry on drinking and make no effort to quit.


I am not comfortable with that either. My point is you cannot "work" or "buy" yourself a spot in Heaven. Nothing else.

TigerLili

It really demonstrates to me the power of addiction when even the possibility of being shut out of heaven for all eternity is not enough to make someone stop drinking.

I find it very sobering, no pun intended.

TigerLili

Post here on SR

Google/research alcohol recovery for Christians

Take up a hobby

Pray and meditate

Tidy up and get things ready for tomorrow

Find some recovering alcoholic Christian 'mommy bloggers' to follow

Join some Skype and online recovery meetings.


It took a few weeks for me to feel better after quitting. I was very agitated and anxious and it got worse before it got better.

autan

I think you should stop drinking for your kids sake. You may not think your hurting anyone, but there are countless stories regarding being drunk, while your in charge of children.

As for the rapture, that is matter of between you and your God.

Aborigine

When my sister died of multi organ failure and I watched her bleed out, My family and I asked the same questions. My father is catholic and my mother Buddist.
I have decided to join the Unitarin Universalist Church. They accept all beleifs and have classes to educate yourself on all of the most appealing aspects of the predominant religions. You can be yourself with a community to back you.

Dan Dare

I'm not a religious man,
but I can tell you that if you don't want to stop,
You won't.